Ohio incident highlights a failure in the Somali community!

[Finesse]

lol women are insane and only have themselves to blame. No one forces you guys to have kids with the guys you choose. If he's a bum, your situation is your fault.

If you are a woman who isn't a complete idiot then you'll have no problem finding a guy who treats you as an equal as long as you know what qualities to look out for ; which most Somali women don't.

Women who marry losers whilst knowing he is a loser only have themselves to blame, I agree with you there.

There are many men who pretend to be useful/good men but they are only lying to get married, once they get married, they switch into their true personalities.

These men are buffoons because they'll end up divorced anyway, instead of lying they should show their true personalities and they will find a woman who is willing to be worked to the bone.

 

[bluebird]

A lot of men pretend to be useless so they can get out of doing work. Or they genuinely don't know and need practise.

A lot of women are impatient control freaks, just teach him basic skills if his parents failed him and don't intervene.

I don't know, I feel like shopping is a female dominated task, it goes hand in hand with cooking. I agree with you on the other stuff though.

 

[Yukon_Niner]

abdi are trash and losers. throw in the towel and breed with other niggas.

May your mother marry a Madow man insha'Allah

 

[Angelina]

lol women are insane and only have themselves to blame. No one forces you guys to have kids with the guys you choose. If he's a bum, your situation is your fault.

If you are a woman who isn't a complete idiot then you'll have no problem finding a guy who treats you as an equal as long as you know what qualities to look out for ; which most Somali women don't.

I' ve never understood this concept because as Muslims we don't cohabit, nor do we date for long periods. So how do you expect women to know the true colors of men?

Some men are dumb and expose themselves, but many aren't and are smart enough to pretend to be something they are not. Also, considering the fact that you only know someone unless you've lived with them or have known them for years, hiding your true personality before marriage is easy. That goes for both men and women.

Honestly, blaming women is an easy way for men to avoid accountability. Its laughable, especially when you have been encouraging men in your other post to act like scum. I don't know if you were joking though.

 

[Mozart]

I' ve never understood this concept because as Muslims we don't cohabit, nor do we date for long periods. So how do you expect women to know the true colors of men?

Some men are dumb and expose themselves, but many aren't and are smart enough to pretend to something they are not. Also, considering the fact that you only know someone unless you've lived with them or have known them for years, hiding your true personality before marriage is easy. That goes for both men and women.

Honestly, blaming women is an easy way for men to avoid accountability. Its laughable, especially when you have been encouraging men in your other post to act like scum. I don't know if you were joking though.

I was joking. Knowing the true colours of a guy is easy. Does he care for his mother and sisters beyond just paying for things ? Ambitions + Plans in life ? Can he commit to anything, for example the gym? Can he cook ? Does his mother do his washing for him? Are his friends bums ? Does he speak negatively about the women in his past ? Does he gossip a lot?

Honestly, women do zero checks on the guy and then moan about the guy just changing, when in reality, he was always a loser.

 

[Angelina]

I was joking. Knowing the true colours of a guy is easy. Does he care for his mother and sisters beyond just paying for things ? Ambitions + Plans in life ? Can he commit to anything, for example the gym? Can he cook ? Does his mother do his washing for him? Are his friends bums ? Does he speak negatively about the women in his past ? Does he gossip a lot?

Honestly, women do zero checks on the guy and then moan about the guy just changing, when in reality, he was always a loser.

No it really isn't. On average Somali girls would probably see a guy every week or every two weeks and speak to him on the phone. After 6 months, the couple would usually marry.

If you talk to a girl and ask her questions about her level of cleanliness and whether she will be able to look after the home, she will sell you a dream. You will only know the truth after you've married her. It's the same for men as well. Any smart man who wants to be with a woman will present himself as being more refined than he really is.

A smart guy isn't going to admit that his hooyo does everything for him. Newsflash, people lie. Furthermore, mothers and sisters doing nearly everything for a guy is so common that all Xalimos will unfortunately not be able to avoid guys like that. Its a rampant problem, that is even encouraged in our culture. Also, the way a man treats his mum isn't going to reflect the way he will treat you.

Islamically, women can't marry without a wali as fathers are meant to do background checks. In many cases, it takes a man to suss a man out. Its a shame many fathers are not doing extensive background checks on guys. All they seem to care about is if he is the right qabil and if he has a 9-5.

 

[Alluring]

Women who marry losers whilst knowing he is a loser only have themselves to blame, I agree with you there.

There are many men who pretend to be useful/good men but they are only lying to get married, once they get married, they switch into their true personalities.

These men are buffoons because they'll end up divorced anyway, instead of lying they should show their true personalities and they will find a woman who is willing to be worked to the bone.

Also, let's not act like divorced women are not stigmatized in our community while a shitty men can always find a new wife back home, it's not the case for women. They might feel pressured to stay instead of risking trying to find a new man while being divorced.

 

[Desert Flower]

No it really isn't. On average Somali girls would probably see a guy every week or every two weeks and speak to him on the phone. After 6 months, the couple would usually marry.

If you talk to a girl and ask her questions about her level of cleanliness and whether she will be able to look after the home, she will sell you a dream. You will only know the truth after you've married her. It's the same for men as well. Any smart man who wants to be with a woman will present himself as being more refined than he really is.

A smart guy isn't going to admit that his hooyo does everything for him. Newsflash, people lie. Furthermore, mothers and sisters doing nearly everything for a guy is so common that all Xalimos will unfortunately not be able to avoid guys like that. Its a rampant problem, that is even encouraged in our culture. Also, the way a man treats his mum isn't going to reflect the way he will treat you.

Islamically, women can't marry without a wali as fathers are meant to do background checks. In many cases, it takes a man to suss a man out. Its a shame many fathers are not doing extensive background checks on guys. All they seem to care about is if he is the right qabil and if he has a 9-5.

Barely even that. It’s just a formality in our culture. By the time the couple decide to get married, it’s a done deal.

 

[Desert Flower]

Also, let's not act like divorced women are not stigmatized in our community while a shitty men can always find a new wife back home, it's not the case for women. They might feel pressured to stay instead of risking trying to find a new man while being divorced.

Even more so if she has kids. Which is why I say to have as many kids as you can handle by yourself. You never know what can happen.

 

[Alluring]

Even more so if she has kids. Which is why I say to have as many kids as you can handle by yourself. You never know what can happen.

Exactly!

 

[Sloane Ranger]

Its quite sad hearing the lack of empathy from these guys. This is something that they would've person witnessed family members dealing with.

Horta why is their first reaction to instantly blame the women for being mistreated ? Why don't they share that same energy for their deadbeat husbands. Cajiib .

 

[Aladdin]

Lets not put all the Somali men and women in same basket we need to improve but everyone mom and paps story is not majority of us....fdk and Makhayada is to blow off steam and sightseeing

 

[Mercury]

Its quite sad hearing the lack of empathy from these guys. This is something that they would've person witnessed family members dealing with.

Horta why is their first reaction to instantly blame the women for being mistreated ? Why don't they share that same energy for their deadbeat husbands. Cajiib .

People are stupid some will even blame the mom for being a single mother

How can you be mad or talk shit about the women who stay in the childs life? isnt the deadbeat dad supposed to be shamed?

 

[reer]

Even more so if she has kids. Which is why I say to have as many kids as you can handle by yourself. You never know what can happen.

wtf are you talking about xaliimos with kids get married all the time what is this victimhood we aren't afghans

 

[Desert Flower]

wtf are you talking about xaliimos with kids get married all the time what is this victimhood we aren't afghans

I didn’t say that. I said it’s harder for a divorced women to get remarried, especially if she has kids. 1,2 or 3 kids? No problem. But a woman with 8 kids would have a way harder time getting remarried, and ends up as a single mother with little prospects. Let’s not be obtuse here.

 

[Ferrari]

May your mother marry a madow man insha'Allah

nigga

abdis are at the bottom of the food chain. facts!

 

[Amazonian]

So what's the update?

Imma need whoever that one dude was that kept screaming GOAT GOAT whenever Dabacasar spoke in the background to go into that damn shop and record us a footage of them fat obese Xalimos odkac shopping.
Cause I know they fucking in there.
Walk up to them and ask if they were part of the ruckus, ask them why they're shopping there. Go question these xalimos

f*ck it, f*ck all that bro. Just walk in there and record us a video of how many Somali customers you see in there.
We need answers.

 

[ReerVanCadde]

These problems exist I would say it's best if you elongate your engagement period to at least 3-6months and it'll be hard pressed for you not to figure out the type of man your marrying, (unless your totally blind). Then, you sit down and make the right arrangements and conditions before marriage and that puts you in the driver's seat of knowing what to expect. If whatever you've agreed doesn't happen then simply leave/divorce.
End of story.

 

[Angelina]

These problems exist I would say it's best if you elongate your engagement period to at least 3-6months and it'll be hard pressed for you not to figure out the type of man your marrying, (unless your totally blind). Then, you sit down and make the right arrangements and conditions before marriage and that puts you in the driver's seat of knowing what to expect. If whatever you've agreed doesn't happen then simply leave/divorce.
End of story.

And how does a Muslim woman who doesn't cohabit or stay over a man's house or go on holiday with him or date for years know the type of man a guy truly is?

Seeing a man once or twice a week and chatting on the phone for a few months does not mean you know him. Men lie, women lie.

That is why fathers are meant to do background research. Thinking you know a man you have only been speaking to in a halal manner for 6 months is delusional.

 

[ReerVanCadde]

@Angelina - There's no guarantee in life. For example, when you apply for a job and your given a job description, it may look nice and amazing however in reality 2 months in you might realise it's all nonsense. The job you thought you'd have (imagination) doesn't match your expectations.
I think the only thing you can do before starting a job is really grill the interviewer on job role etc and hold them accountable. Risk comes with reward.