Ohio incident highlights a failure in the Somali community!

Desert Flower

Staff Member
Moderator
Agreed, I hope you reach your goal and raise good children. And in the daughter part I agree, my father had a lot of influence on my life I’ll probably not even be half where I am today if he has not worked his ass off being a surgeon and still had time to come back each night to help me with my school work, Quran or just play with me.

A father raising a daughter is either a hit or a miss, he either raises the daughter well and she looks up to him and sees him as a role model. Or he raises the daughter to detest him and she will look for another source to get the fatherly love she never had.

The same goes with mothers and their sons, she will shape his views on the opposite sex and will impact the way he behaves and interacts with women in the future.
And we brush this off by saying the girl has “daddy issues” when it’s the failure of the father that caused it.
 
And we brush this off by saying the girl has “daddy issues” when it’s the failure of the father that caused it.
Exactly, girls are mocked for having “daddy issues” which aren’t even their fault. It’s the fault of the absent fathers or the physically present fathers that are emotionally And mentally absent.

If a child grows up not receiving love from one parent they are obviously going to look for a man that will love them and make them feel valid and important. But these things are brushed off as a girl who can’t get over not having a loving dad in her life and the men almost never get blamed.
 

Dawo

Freedom Fighter
I once spoke to a man who said he would not do chores at home or learn how to do his daughter's hair..I stopped talking to him there and then.
Sexist deadbeats tend to expose themselves, listen carefully to them and understand that you can never change his beliefs.
Only an ignorant cuck will say that, ill do anything for my daughter
 
Hassan Sheekh Maxamoud, Somalia's previous President signed a deal to send Somali girls as maids to Saudi! The most disgraceful chapter in Somali history, by far.
He did it because nobody will stand in his way and today he is still holding qabil conferences like he didnt neglect hundreds if not thousands of somali girls. Somalida are used screaming 91 ba lagu noqona if their qabyalad demands are not met. So thats how get you disgraceful shameless people like hassan deciding whats best for us.
 
I agree. But don’t glamorize these men because there are lots of issues that these Arab and South Asian women go through. Somali men are very liberal and our women have more freedom. But you’re right when it feels like even if a Somali woman is married, she’s basically a single mom.
It depends on the country. North Africans, Levant, and Bengalis are more liberal while Khaleejis and Pakistanis are less. I'm not including the liberal educated Pakistanis in the US
 

BetterDaysAhead

JUSTICE FOR SHUKRI ABDI!!!
VIP
I have been to Arab nations and noticed when I was shopping ( as a single woman), that Arab men do the shopping, or the couple goes together, it is very rare to see a married woman shopping alone. They especially do NOT ever go to the market, that's a place filled with male employees.

However, in the diaspora or even in Somalia, it's the women who do the food shopping. When my mother moved to Europe, her male ESL teacher was astonished at Somali male learners, he said "why the hell don't Somali men know the English vocabulary for food items but Somali women do!". He kept cussing Somali men and said that they are useless.

Also, when you send your wife and daughters to go food shopping, they are exposed to perverted Arab/Turkish employees!!

There is no excuse for a grown man to not to do the weekly or monthly shopping. You can do it easily on your way home from work or during the weekends. Learn how to shield and protect your women from non-mahrem men.

Not to mention the most obvious issue here; carrying shopping is heavy and intense work. What kind of man thinks it is ok to make his wife do all that heavy lifting AND to cook?

If you want to have a full-time housewife or maid/staff, as a MAN, please ensure you are in full-time control of "Outside" just like all other ethnic groups on earth.

1. Throw out the trash
2. Maintain the vehicles, pump gas/fix tyres etc.
3. Cut the grass/garden work
4. Wash the windows
5. Bring the shopping home
6. DIY work etc.
Inshallah this will change. Also what was the ethnicity of the male ESL teacher?
 
Oh yes, I have certainly heard of and seen women who dislike men who cook/clean but those are usually old-school, the newer generation tend to want a more balanced approach to a partnership.

As for FGM, that's an ancient practise that came out of a misogynist culture that wanted to ensure "purity" in women. Of course then women took over maintaining this "purity" but the root is not from women.
In Somalia they are not old school, it's across all ages and the younger females especially take a special disdain for a male that helps out, because she sees it as an insult on her abilities.

The only Xaalimo's that take issue and seek help is your generation in the west.

Now I am all for helping out since I did all of that myself back in Europe, but we can't deny where this culture came from, it still happens back home across all age groups, it's pushed by the Xaalimo's and our Fathers and Sons are raised in that atmosphere even in the West.

I couldn't even take out a compost bin the other day, all the females went mad and thought I was crazy, that's the culture her, the guy does the shopping, work and pays bills, she does everything else.

The only reason why I escaped that cycle was living alone for a long period of time.
 
In Somalia they are not old school, it's across all ages and the younger females especially take a special disdain for a male that helps out, because she sees it as an insult on her abilities.

The only Xaalimo's that take issue and seek help is your generation in the west.

Now I am all for helping out since I did all of that myself back in Europe, but we can't deny where this culture came from, it still happens back home across all age groups, it's pushed by the Xaalimo's and our Fathers and Sons are raised in that atmosphere even in the West.

I couldn't even take out a compost bin the other day, all the females went mad and thought I was crazy, that's the culture her, the guy does the shopping, work and pays bills, she does everything else.

The only reason why I escaped that cycle was living alone for a long period of time.
I can second this. It is very different out here in somalia. I like the status quo out here in somalia.
 
My cousin had this experience, she was working going to Uni & looking after a newborn all by herself, this girl looked sick like a walking zombie she lost so much weight it was crazy. They divorced after 3 years.

Her husband in that time got fat, would work but not bring any money for food or rent, anytime she needed money he would say he paid his mums bills and forget asking him to looked after the baby, whenever they argued he would just kick it at his mums house. Truly disgusted walalhi what was even more nasty was his mum had no issue with her sons behaviour.
 

Mercury

Staff Member
Moderator
Truth is alot guys are lazy and care more about their own needs than their wife and family and on top of that the guy wants to be treated like a king for the little he puts in the wife she ends up taking the huge burden and responsibility upon herself cause the man isn't stepping up

In my opinion if your a guy you should have a vision of how you want your household to be run be involved with every decision with your wife bedtime routines, house chores etc

Also one shouldn't strive to be treated like a king instead its better focus on being the best father and husband who makes sure he spend quality time and alone time with his wife and kids individually and be there for your wife support her take care of her physically,mentally,emotionally
 
No man should take any advice from the females in this thread . You Somali men pay racks for your wife. Get your investments worth. No cooking. No cleaning . Just fkd with the lads and vibes .
 
i didn't know anyone trusted men to do any shopping:/ they can't get it right
A lot of men pretend to be useless so they can get out of doing work. Or they genuinely don't know and need practise.

A lot of women are impatient control freaks, just teach him basic skills if his parents failed him and don't intervene.
 
No man should take any advice from the females in this thread . You Somali men pay racks for your wife. Get your investments worth. No cooking. No cleaning . Just fkd with the lads and vibes .
"females"

One day you may have daughters and unless you want this to happen, you will show her what a real Muslim man is; merciful, kind etc.

Read this again.


My cousin had this experience, she was working going to Uni & looking after a newborn all by herself, this girl looked sick like a walking zombie she lost so much weight it was crazy. They divorced after 3 years.

Her husband in that time got fat, would work but not bring any money for food or rent, anytime she needed money he would say he paid his mums bills and forget asking him to looked after the baby, whenever they argued he would just kick it at his mums house. Truly disgusted walalhi what was even more nasty was his mum had no issue with her sons behaviour.
 
What excuse does a lazy man have? I don't get it. Say he gets home around 6 PM, he has time to shower, change, eat, chill for a bit, let's say until 8 PM.

Why can't he spare 2 hours being useful around the house? From 8-10 PM?

A working man literally has a minimum of 10 hours in the evening from Mon-Fri which he can use to spend time with his wife/children.
 
What excuse does a lazy man have? I don't get it. Say he gets home around 6 PM, he has time to shower, change, eat, chill for a bit, let's say until 8 PM.

Why can't he spare 2 hours being useful around the house? From 8-10 PM?

A working man literally has a minimum of 10 hours in the evening from Mon-Fri which he can use to spend time with his wife/children.
lol women are insane and only have themselves to blame. No one forces you guys to have kids with the guys you choose. If he's a bum, your situation is your fault.

If you are a woman who isn't a complete idiot then you'll have no problem finding a guy who treats you as an equal as long as you know what qualities to look out for ; which most Somali women don't.
 

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