I'm planning to sxb, it's hard trying to explain when people would assume it's a jinn, or waswas or I'm just being salty.
I haven't had the thoughts of killing myself, thought never crossed my mind, also I fear Allah too much to do that.
Screw those who say depression is waswaas. Even the Prophet (SAW) acknowledged depression, and mental illness. All you can do is pray, and talk about it with someone who listens. I know how hard it can be. I used to weigh 280 pounds, and used to be very depressed about it, and was very anti social to the point of suicide. What worked for me was meditation, and exercise. But even after I lost weight, and continued meditation I still found myself in that same black hole of depression. That's when I became more religious, and met good friends who I talked to about it, and Alhamdulilah now I'm very happy. I realized this dunya is nothing but a proving ground. Don't feed into it. Always be thankful, and always continue to move forward. All this is just a test. You're being tested with something you can handle.
Always remember. When you walk towards Allah, He is running towards you.