He wasn't the worst kind of father and he spent a lot of time with us. I just find his personality to be really annoying and his parenting style to be really bad.
Aside from the fact that he is just really negative all the time (always complaining about some inconsequential nonsense, and complaining about my mother), he is a total control freak. Really authoritarian and bossy.
He literally told l me that life is all about following directions, doing what you're told, and submitting yourself to authority. Don't think for yourself, do things your own way, or find your own path.
His way of doing things is the best way and all other ways are just wrong because he says so. This includes things such as getting rid of hiccups, to what position you are allowed to sleep in at night. There would be no being a freethinking individual with him around.
You would think this is just a father providing structure in a child's life. But doing anything wrong would result in a beating with an implement or some sort of cruel humiliation in public. I like to think he was just lazy at parenting.
Instead of trying to understand his children and help us with things we had problems with in school and stuff, he just yelled and screamed hoping that would somehow change something. For example, I'm a pretty good student. Usually got good grades. But for a time I was going through a depression and being stupid my grades started to slip and all I got was beatings rather than any interest in why.
Now that I'm an adult and I look back on things, I can somewhat understand him better. I see now why he is so authoritarian. He is actually very collectivist and a closet communist. We had some discussions of politics. He believes that individuals and their rights do not matter. Only the collective matters. If the rights and needs of an individual have to be stepped on in order to further the goals of the collective, then it is justified.
I tried to convince him of my views of individualism. The rights and needs of the individual being more important than the collective. But he is completely convinced that the ends justify the means and that Communism is a legitimate form of government. I gave our relationship a chance so many times but I'm just done with him. We'll never see eye to eye and I detest his parenting style and world view.
Aside from the fact that he is just really negative all the time (always complaining about some inconsequential nonsense, and complaining about my mother), he is a total control freak. Really authoritarian and bossy.
He literally told l me that life is all about following directions, doing what you're told, and submitting yourself to authority. Don't think for yourself, do things your own way, or find your own path.
His way of doing things is the best way and all other ways are just wrong because he says so. This includes things such as getting rid of hiccups, to what position you are allowed to sleep in at night. There would be no being a freethinking individual with him around.
You would think this is just a father providing structure in a child's life. But doing anything wrong would result in a beating with an implement or some sort of cruel humiliation in public. I like to think he was just lazy at parenting.
Instead of trying to understand his children and help us with things we had problems with in school and stuff, he just yelled and screamed hoping that would somehow change something. For example, I'm a pretty good student. Usually got good grades. But for a time I was going through a depression and being stupid my grades started to slip and all I got was beatings rather than any interest in why.
Now that I'm an adult and I look back on things, I can somewhat understand him better. I see now why he is so authoritarian. He is actually very collectivist and a closet communist. We had some discussions of politics. He believes that individuals and their rights do not matter. Only the collective matters. If the rights and needs of an individual have to be stepped on in order to further the goals of the collective, then it is justified.
I tried to convince him of my views of individualism. The rights and needs of the individual being more important than the collective. But he is completely convinced that the ends justify the means and that Communism is a legitimate form of government. I gave our relationship a chance so many times but I'm just done with him. We'll never see eye to eye and I detest his parenting style and world view.
