Meher

[Molotoff]

The best of mehers are the small ones. You know that it has been written, ladies. Don’t push it.

 

[VixR]

Lool but I thought you weren’t a fan of the idea of marriage? So this whole meher thing is the hypothetical scenario if you decided to get married years down the line.

You are confused more than anything

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[Killua]

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Tbh, u can just date your s/o without the bondage that comes with being married. I don’t see you getting married tbh- lool give off hippy vibes

 

[Killua]

Some women want more and they understand it has nothing to do with their worth. Your point is just a shaming tactic for women not to ask for much.

What do women bring in to a marriage? I think the more a meher , the more you have to do in the household. Can’t expect 30k meher and get away with doing the bare minimum

 

[HalimaJ]

What do women bring in to a marriage? I think the more a meher , the more you have to do in the household. Can’t expect 30k meher and get away with doing the bare minimum

Any man that asks 'what do women bring in marriage'? Should be avoided.
Women do more in marriages and relationships then men, especially in this day and age in which not only do women work, but also do most of the housework, child rearing and go through the pain of childbirth.

So, the question is, what do men like YOU, even bring to the table?

 

[VantaBlack]

Some women want more and they understand it has nothing to do with their worth. Your point is just a shaming tactic for women not to ask for much.

It's not a shaming tactic, just a logical conclusion.

So meher is linked to your self worth?

 

[HalimaJ]

It's not a shaming tactic, just a logical conclusion.

So meher is linked to your self worth?

No it isn't. Its a gift the groom gives to his bride to illustrate his seriousness. What is considered alot for one couple, might not be considered alot for another.

 

[VantaBlack]

No it isn't. Its a gift the groom gives to his bride to illustrate his seriousness. What is considered alot for one couple, might not be considered alot for another.

What if the groom is poor, and the potential wife is from a wealthy family?

 

[HalimaJ]

What if the groom is poor, and the potential wife is from a wealthy family?

Most wealthy families, wouldn't allow their daughter to marry a poor groom. Its the way the world works unfortunately.

 

[VantaBlack]

Most wealthy families, wouldn't allow their daughter to marry a poor groom. Its the way the world works unfortunately.

Exactly, that is the way the world works.

Which tells you a lot about this place.

 

[Mehmet]

so confronting

good luck guys

Worse waa personal as the price will sky rocket and you gotta cut your losses

 

[Killua]

Any man that asks 'what do women bring in marriage'? Should be avoided.
Women do more in marriages and relationships then men, especially in this day and age in which not only do women work, but also do most of the housework, child rearing and go through the pain of childbirth.

So, the question is, what do men like YOU, even bring to the table?

Personally I’d only offer a Quran for meher as their is nothing more priceless than the holy book of Allah.


And if she wants money 2k tops, and she must submit to me and take care of all household duties/child rearing and also work part time(ofc). If she chooses the Quran, I’d help out in every other aspect.

 

[repo]

Personally I’d only offer a Quran for meher as their is nothing more priceless than the holy book of Allah.


And if she wants money 2k tops, and she must submit to me and take care of all household duties/child rearing and also work part time(ofc). If she chooses the Quran, I’d help out in every other aspect.

Are you an alpha?

 

[Younes Osman]

Are you an alpha?

"Lol, Do you think he uses the deen for the chat up line "

 

[HalimaJ]

Personally I’d only offer a Quran for meher as their is nothing more priceless than the holy book of Allah.


And if she wants money 2k tops, and she must submit to me and take care of all household duties/child rearing and also work part time(ofc). If she chooses the Quran, I’d help out in every other aspect.

Scholars are of the opinion that Mehr should be wealth and not Quraan. Furthermore, Mehr is something the woman requests, you do not have the right to tell her what she should ask.

Also, you didn't answer my question. What do you bring to the table? You want a woman that does everything around the house, submits to you, raises your kids AND helps you with bills. What do you offer her? Why would a woman even bother being with you?

2k isn't a lot. Only a broke man behaves as though a woman owes him everything just because he gave her 2k. That is less than a lot of women's monthly salary. You sound like a broke miser.

 

[Ayubi]

Scholars are of the opinion that Mehr should be wealth and not Quraan. Furthermore, Mehr is something the woman requests, you do not have the right to tell her what she should ask.

Also, you didn't answer my question. What do you bring to the table? You want a woman that does everything around the house, submits to you, raises your kids AND helps you with bills. What do you offer her? Why would a woman even bother being with you?

2k isn't a lot. Only a broke man behaves as though a woman owes him everything just because he gave her 2k. That is less than a lot of women's monthly salary. You sound like a broke miser.

Are you sure about that @HalimaJ?

There's no reason for a man to be paying a girl 50k or something expensive, the Mahr should be reasonable.

This is what I found from a Scholarly website Islamqa:

This hadeeth shows that it is permissible for the mahr to be a little or a lot of whatever is considered to be wealth, if both partners agree, because an iron ring is extremely little. This is the madhhab of al-Shaafa’i and is also the view of the majority of scholars among the earlier and later generations. This was also the view of Rabee’ah, Abu’l-Zinaad, Ibn Abi Dhi’b, Yahyaa ibn Sa’eed, al-Layth ibn Sa’d, al-Thawri, al-Oozaa’i, Muslim ibn Khaalid, Ibn Abi Laylaa, Dawood, the fuqahaa’ of the scholars of hadeeth and Ibn Wahb among the companions of Maalik. It was also the view of all the scholars of the Hijaaz, Basrah, Kufa and Syria, and others, that whatever the couple agree upon is permissible (as a dowry), whether it is a lot or a little, such as a whip, a pair of shoes or an iron ring, etc.

The minimum amount of mahr has been explained in the report in al-Saheeh (no. 1425) narrated from Sahl ibn Sa’d al-Saa’idi, who said: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I have come to give myself (in marriage) to you.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) looked at her and looked her up and down, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) lowered his head and paused. When the woman saw that he had not made a decision about her, she sat down. A man from among the Sahaabah said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, if you are not interested in her, then marry her to me.’ He said, ‘Do you have anything?’ He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah.’ He said, ‘Go to your people and see if you can find anything.’ So the man went, then he came back and said, ‘No, by Allaah, I could not find anything.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Look and see (if you can find anything), even if it is only an iron ring which you can give.’ So he went, then came back, and said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, not even an iron ring. But (I have) this izaar (garment) of mine, she can have half of it.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘What can she do with your izaar? If you are wearing it she will have nothing of it.’ The man sat down, then after a long time had passed, he got up (to leave). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw him leaving and called him. When he came, he said, ‘What do you know of the Qur’aan?’ He said, ‘Soorah Such-and-such and Soorah Such-and-such.’ He said, ‘Do you know them by heart?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Then go, you are married to her by what you know of the Qur’aan.’”

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/311...t-of-the-mahr-of-the-mothers-of-the-believers

 

[HalimaJ]

Are you sure about that @HalimaJ?

There's no reason for a man to be paying a girl 50k or something expensive, the Mahr should be reasonable.

This is what I found from a Scholarly website Islamqa:

This hadeeth shows that it is permissible for the mahr to be a little or a lot of whatever is considered to be wealth, if both partners agree, because an iron ring is extremely little. This is the madhhab of al-Shaafa’i and is also the view of the majority of scholars among the earlier and later generations. This was also the view of Rabee’ah, Abu’l-Zinaad, Ibn Abi Dhi’b, Yahyaa ibn Sa’eed, al-Layth ibn Sa’d, al-Thawri, al-Oozaa’i, Muslim ibn Khaalid, Ibn Abi Laylaa, Dawood, the fuqahaa’ of the scholars of hadeeth and Ibn Wahb among the companions of Maalik. It was also the view of all the scholars of the Hijaaz, Basrah, Kufa and Syria, and others, that whatever the couple agree upon is permissible (as a dowry), whether it is a lot or a little, such as a whip, a pair of shoes or an iron ring, etc.

The minimum amount of mahr has been explained in the report in al-Saheeh (no. 1425) narrated from Sahl ibn Sa’d al-Saa’idi, who said: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I have come to give myself (in marriage) to you.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) looked at her and looked her up and down, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) lowered his head and paused. When the woman saw that he had not made a decision about her, she sat down. A man from among the Sahaabah said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, if you are not interested in her, then marry her to me.’ He said, ‘Do you have anything?’ He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah.’ He said, ‘Go to your people and see if you can find anything.’ So the man went, then he came back and said, ‘No, by Allaah, I could not find anything.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Look and see (if you can find anything), even if it is only an iron ring which you can give.’ So he went, then came back, and said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, not even an iron ring. But (I have) this izaar (garment) of mine, she can have half of it.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘What can she do with your izaar? If you are wearing it she will have nothing of it.’ The man sat down, then after a long time had passed, he got up (to leave). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw him leaving and called him. When he came, he said, ‘What do you know of the Qur’aan?’ He said, ‘Soorah Such-and-such and Soorah Such-and-such.’ He said, ‘Do you know them by heart?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Then go, you are married to her by what you know of the Qur’aan.’”

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/311...t-of-the-mahr-of-the-mothers-of-the-believers

The bit in bold backs it up. It has to be something that is considered wealth. Quraan is not considered wealth.
I never mentioned 50k, so I don't understand your point.

There is a fatwa on Islamqa which makes this clear.

 

[Mehmet]

ma gaari baa? Installments of 250 a month, zero down payment would be better no?

Yes as she may not be a virgin at all

 

[CaliTedesse]

I have seen some threads about meher and noticed many of the men are staying they won't pay it ?
Do you know it's a must in Islam ? Why are men not wanting to pay meher?

men that wont pay it waa gaajo

 

[Mehmet]

men that wont pay it waa gaajo

Maybe the wives are paying him instead