Meher

[Libaaxseendheer]

you can half now and pay the rest later.

ma gaari baa? Installments of 250 a month, zero down payment would be better no?

 

[Mahacagalla]

I get uncomfortable on discussing finance. That’s why I never ask what’s their wages or how much money in their savings. That’s personal u know.

What is your max to pay a mehr?
Did u know there’s an instalment? For example, if a girl’s parents want 25k for dowry, you can half now and pay the rest later.

Yeah I mentioned on the other Mehr thread I wouldn't feel comfortable paying installments. I don't wanna owe money to my wife lol.

I am at a good place rn so I could go as high as 10k but I would be too nervous of divorce to pay that much tbh. I wouldn't mind if it went towards a down payment or something together.

Yeah no girls ever ask me about finances. Sometimes when they pay like if I go to the bathroom before the check and I wanna pay them back they get all uncomfortable about it and say it's okay

 

[Vanessa]

Yeah I mentioned on the other Mehr thread I wouldn't feel comfortable paying installments. I don't wanna owe money to my wife lol.

I am at a good place rn so I could go as high as 10k but I would be too nervous of divorce to pay that much tbh. I wouldn't mind if it went towards a down payment or something together.

Yeah no girls ever ask me about finances. Sometimes when they pay like if I go to the bathroom before the check and I wanna pay them back they get all uncomfortable about it and say it's okay

Instalment is a good for if youre struggle financially Alhamillah for Islam, it’s always moderate for us muslims. Not too extreme nor not too easy. Allah always has best for us @Libaaxseendheer

I understand if don’t want to do instalment and I believe a man and his wife should save for down payment and be homeowner in future. Lately, weddings cost almost like down payment/deposit for a house. Plan and stick your budget.

 

[Vanessa]

Yeah I mentioned on the other Mehr thread I wouldn't feel comfortable paying installments. I don't wanna owe money to my wife lol.

I am at a good place rn so I could go as high as 10k but I would be too nervous of divorce to pay that much tbh. I wouldn't mind if it went towards a down payment or something together.

Yeah no girls ever ask me about finances. Sometimes when they pay like if I go to the bathroom before the check and I wanna pay them back they get all uncomfortable about it and say it's okay

At least your dinner is paid

 

[beenleey]

I'm not Muslim and I don't like the concept of Mehr but if my future husband and I are going to pretend to be Muslim and I say I want a small mehr for the sake of Allah, then I'd be a laughing stock since all my women from my generation that got married demand high Mehr so 10k mehr for me

 

[Mercury]

Meher shouldn't even be that much if someone ask for anything more than 10k just don't marry that person simple as that

 

[Abdullnur]

Why do atheists even bother coming into these threads?

Cause I know you fanatics don't like to be challenged.

 

[VixR]

I'm not Muslim and I don't like the concept of Mehr but if my future husband and I are going to pretend to be Muslim and I say I want a small mehr for the sake of Allah, then I'd be a laughing stock since all my women from my generation that got married demand high Mehr so 10k mehr for me

Same. The mehers in my family make 10k a dwarf. I would have to be a trailblazer.

 

[TheSayid]

apple dowry memes makes them not want to pay.

 

[Younes Osman]

A mahar is an investment okella, markus.... it's like investing in stocks until all of a sudden the market collapses then farax's borsada iyo darca daqaada ooo tooorisa.... all of a sudden you find out there is a naarg kullah in the relationship. Then you say "War faraxo, wan saktiginah "

 

[Mahacagalla]

At least your dinner is paid

I paid her back eventually lol

 

[Abba Sadacha]

Even if i were a millionaire...The most I'd pay is 5,000 regardless. If a sister is chaste and even somewhat religious she'd understand an expensive mahr is contrary to the sunnah of marriage. Plus she's already entitled to a large chunk of her husband's wealth anyway. Lol.

 

[Killua]

Same. The mehers in my family make 10k a dwarf. I would have to be a trailblazer.

If you were Muslim, what would you gauge it at?

 

[Tukraq]

I'm not Muslim and I don't like the concept of Mehr but if my future husband and I are going to pretend to be Muslim and I say I want a small mehr for the sake of Allah, then I'd be a laughing stock since all my women from my generation that got married demand high Mehr so 10k mehr for me

get outta here

 

[Tukraq]

Same. The mehers in my family make 10k a dwarf. I would have to be a trailblazer.

why would you get meter if your an atheist couple
no way the guy agrees with that, forget 10k u getting zero, maybe try to play the expensive ring game

 

[beenleey]

why would you get meter if your an atheist couple
no way the guy agrees with that, forget 10k u getting zero, maybe try to play the expensive ring game

I'm never telling my parents and ideally, he'd be in the same situation so we'll be both cosplaying Muslim,
And you know what good-fearing Muslim couples do? 10k Meher

In all seriousness tho I probably wouldn't keep it and put it back into our relationship like as savings or for us to enjoy but everyone's gotta think I'm a10k meher girl

 

[VixR]

why would you get meter if your an atheist couple
no way the guy agrees with that, forget 10k u getting zero, maybe try to play the expensive ring game

I don’t like rings, but that’s something you can change. I can ask him not to get me a ring, which I easily would.

You can’t change meher. It’s been tried. That’s why the Quran/Timir/Apple/etc meme exists, because trying to change it and only pay symbolicly in that way is mocked, even though its in the prophetic tradition and hadiths to do so, ironically enough.

I can’t ask him not to give me meher if he’s Somali. Atheist or not, my parents and all my relatives are Muslim and Somali, and so are his.

If he’s not Somali, I have to tell him about it, and he has to participate or leave, because mine are still Muslim and Somali. Trying to nix is out of the question, so you have to go high.

Similarly, for a Somali guy who’s atheist, he’ll have to pay meher if he’s marrying a Somali (atheist or not). To get out of it, he’d have to marry out of Somalis and Muslims at large.

Meher can’t change with my parents. I have to honor them, and what they believe, and how the community sees them through me, even thought I don’t like the concept. At best, it can change with me and my kids.

If you were Muslim, what would you gauge it at?

I’m not going to answer that with a sum, but as I explained, it’s irrelevant. It’s still there.

 

[VantaBlack]

Meher does not equal the worth of the woman you are marrying. The funny thing is that those who demand huge amounts of money for their meher, are oddly and ironically worth less as a human being than the woman who settles for very little. Because she already know that meher does not equate to her worth which is priceless.

 

[Killua]

I don’t like rings, but that’s something you can change. I can ask him not to get me a ring, which I easily would.

You can’t change meher. It’s been tried. That’s why the Quran/Timir/Apple/etc meme exists, because trying to change it and only pay symbolicly in that way is mocked, even though its in the prophetic tradition and hadiths to do so, ironically enough.

I can’t ask him not to give me meher if he’s Somali. Atheist or not, my parents and all my relatives are Muslim and Somali, and so are his.

If he’s not Somali, I have to tell him about it, and he has to participate or leave, because mine are still Muslim and Somali. Trying to nix is out of the question, so you have to go high.

Similarly, for a Somali guy who’s atheist, he’ll have to pay meher if he’s marrying a Somali (atheist or not). To get out of it, he’d have to marry out of Somalis and Muslims at large.

Meher can’t change with my parents. I have to honor them, and what they believe, and how the community sees them through me, even thought I don’t like the concept. At best, it can change with me and my kids.
I’m not going to answer that with a sum, but as I explained, it’s irrelevant. It’s still there.

Lool but I thought you weren’t a fan of the idea of marriage? So this whole meher thing is the hypothetical scenario if you decided to get married years down the line.

You are confused more than anything

 

[HalimaJ]

Meher does not equal the worth of the woman you are marrying. The funny thing is that those who demand huge amounts of money for their meher, are oddly and ironically worth less as a human being than the woman who settles for very little. Because she already know that meher does not equate to her worth which is priceless.

Some women want more and they understand it has nothing to do with their worth. Your point is just a shaming tactic for women not to ask for much.