Lol when you uphold other people’s beauty standards. Ohh the cuckery.

[Farhiya 687]

Ok I never understood this I live in multicultural city. And I can find beauty in things/people. But imagine your whole life you follow superfluous beauty standards. Lol not even yours. Instead of setting your own or presenting your best examples from your culture.

My future children will not be victims of marketers or have low self esteem. They could look like a half made jellyfish bih they’ll be gorgeous. Self improvement is not off the table. We’ll try everything.

 

[Timo Jareer and proud]

There is no such thing as being ugly for life.

Everyone is able to be beautiful, all it takes is a balanced diet and regular excessive.

 

[Farhiya 687]

There is no such thing as being ugly for life.

Everyone is able to be beautiful, all it takes is a balanced diet and regular excessive.

Definitely.

 

[The alchemist]

I don't know how that will be possible. Look at the rate social media is controlling our lives, controlling trends, and social behavior.

I can assuredly say to you that when your children are at your age, they will be even more fucked up, superficial and less in control of their behavior because technology will have an even greater role in shaping their lives in every way shape or form.

 

[Farhiya 687]

I don't know how that will be possible. Look at the rate social media is controlling our lives, controlling trends, and social behavior.

I can assuredly say to you that when your children are at your age, they will be even more fucked up, superficial and less in control of their behavior because technology will have an even greater role in shaping their lives in every way shape or form.

Yeah good points. It might have less of a sway if you can positively influence them before that. Like it be apart of the atmosphere.

 

[The alchemist]

Yeah good points. It might have less of a sway if you can positively influence them before that. Like it be apart of the atmosphere.

Correct.

Don't stress; make sure to create a suitable environment for them, and do what good parents do.

That's why chasing the money is the best things, you can have more control of the 'atmosphere' so to speak. I think people on the lower end of the socio-economic ladder will be more susceptible to this inevitable social phenomenon.

But it's not that negative. People should learn to embrace the future and prepare themselves. It is what it is.

 

[Farhiya 687]

Correct.

Don't stress; make sure to create a suitable environment for them, and do what good parents do.

That's why chasing the money is the best things, you can have more control of the 'atmosphere' so to speak. I think people on the lower end of the socio-economic ladder will be more susceptible to this inevitable social phenomenon.

But it's not that negative. People should learn to embrace the future and prepare themselves. It is what it is.

Exactly.

 

[Inquisitive_]

Yeah good points. It might have less of a sway if you can positively influence them before that. Like it be apart of the atmosphere.

To do this not only will you need a strong like-minded forward thinking partner that will aid you but also an adequate supporting cast (your wider community)

You need both ingredients to have any chance at success because all around you is filth, dysfunction and destruction.

As Somali's we never had a community in the diaspora to begin with, we hold the record for the number of broken homes produced, our women and our children are out of control.

This is the first time that I have seen a Xaalimo talk about this topic both online and in real life, 99.9% of the times the concern is shown by the male's.

Our Xaalimo's have no interest in these topics which is no surprise to me because they have developed a robust reputation in the diaspora for being notorious home wreckers.

 

[Farhiya 687]

To do this not only will you need a strong like-minded forward thinking partner that will aid you but also an adequate supporting cast (your wider community)

You need both ingredients to have any chance at success because all around you is filth, dysfunction and destruction.

As Somali's we never had a community in the diaspora to begin with, we hold the record for the number of broken homes produced, our women and our children are out of control.

This is the first time that I have seen a Xaalimo talk about this topic both online and in real life, 99.9% of the times the concern is shown by the male's.

Our Xaalimo's have no interest in these topics which is no surprise to me because they have developed a robust reputation in the diaspora for being notorious home wreckers.

Yeah totally. To be fair we must hold accountability both ways. There are good Somali fathers/mother’s. But if the man leaves women have to be the both fathers & mothers. Which obviously is stressful. But I do get in the first place vet the guy properly. Like character assessment not just because he’s cute or something.

I don’t know Somali chicks tend to gush over relationships. Wouldn’t breaking that up be counter-intuitive? Really depends on mentality.

 

[Inquisitive_]

Yeah totally. To be fair we must hold accountability both ways. There are good Somali fathers/mother’s. But if the man leaves women have to be the both fathers & mothers. Which obviously is stressful. But I do get in the first place vet the guy properly. Like character assessment not just because he’s cute or something.

I don’t know Somali chicks tend to gush over relationships. Wouldn’t breaking that up be counter-intuitive? Really depends on mentality.

70% of divorces in the West are initiated by women, this is for all ethnic groups but for Somali's that figure is closer to 90%.

In fact I cant remember the last time I heard about a guy that wanted divorce from his wife out of his own volition without being forced into it by the wife and her family and usually over petty laughable stuff

The reason why our women are so out of control and crazy, tearing apart homes and the future of our children on a mere whim is because no consequences exists for there actions.

I have seen them countless of times openly coming against there own families, flatly and brazenly refuse arbitration without any fear of being ostracised from the community.

You do not see this type of wretched behaviour from other Muslim groups, there is accountability and consequences.

The female is the one that makes or breaks a home, and for some reason in the diaspora, they have decided to break them upon masses mostly over petty things, we see the consequences of this today everywhere.

The beauty about this world is that you reap what you sow, these same home wreckers today have a multitude of health issues as a result of there actions.

A gang banging son in prison who she visits and griefs over, a son that has been killed at the hands of another product from a broken home who she weeps for, a loose disobedient daughter even worse then she was going for her third abortion who has decided to move out with her bf or a useless fat couch potato that curses her.

 

[Muji]

70% of divorces in the West are initiated by women, this is for all ethnic groups but for Somali's that figure is closer to 90%.

In fact I cant remember the last time I heard about a guy that wanted divorce from his wife out of his own volition without being forced into it by the wife and her family and usually over petty laughable stuff

The reason why our women are so out of control and crazy, tearing apart homes and the future of our children on a mere whim is because no consequences exists for there actions.

I have seen them countless of times openly coming against there own families, flatly and brazenly refuse arbitration without any fear of being ostracised from the community.

You do not see this type of wretched behaviour from other Muslim groups, there is accountability and consequences.

The female is the one that makes or breaks a home, and for some reason in the diaspora, they have decided to break them upon masses mostly over petty things, we see the consequences of this today everywhere.

The beauty about this world is that you reap what you sow, these same home wreckers today have a multitude of health issues as a result of there actions.

A gang banging son in prison who she visits and griefs over, a son that has been killed at the hands of another product from a broken home who she weeps for, a loose disobedient daughter even worse then she was going for her third abortion who has decided to move out with her bf or a useless fat couch potato that curses her.

What do you think should be the consequences of against the wishes of men in our community?

Also you rely on a lot of anecdotal evidence. There are many cases where Somali women go for a divorce from their husbands after being abused or being cheated on. Your perspective is extremely skewed and you rely on emotions rather than logic.

 

[Muji]

Yeah totally. To be fair we must hold accountability both ways. There are good Somali fathers/mother’s. But if the man leaves women have to be the both fathers & mothers. Which obviously is stressful. But I do get in the first place vet the guy properly. Like character assessment not just because he’s cute or something.

I don’t know Somali chicks tend to gush over relationships. Wouldn’t breaking that up be counter-intuitive? Really depends on mentality.

Do yourself a favour and do not have nuanced conversations with this guy. He is a rabid women hating misogynist who probability physically attacks his sisters in to submission.

There are a few good Somali men out there. I only know 4 successful Somali men with university degrees. However, I can name you many who are selling drugs or working in retail going on thirty. A substantial amount of Somali men are being stabbed to death or are in jail. Which leaves Somali women in a very desperate situation. I say marry out at this point but due to peer pressure from family- Somali women are forced to settle for pond life like @Inquisitive_

When there is not much to choose from you end up with something that will do for now. After a period of the farax bumming it up in the living room refusing to clean up after himself or giving attention to any of his kids, divorce is inevitable.

 

[Farhiya 687]

70% of divorces in the West are initiated by women, this is for all ethnic groups but for Somali's that figure is closer to 90%.

In fact I cant remember the last time I heard about a guy that wanted divorce from his wife out of his own volition without being forced into it by the wife and her family and usually over petty laughable stuff

The reason why our women are so out of control and crazy, tearing apart homes and the future of our children on a mere whim is because no consequences exists for there actions.

I have seen them countless of times openly coming against there own families, flatly and brazenly refuse arbitration without any fear of being ostracised from the community.

You do not see this type of wretched behaviour from other Muslim groups, there is accountability and consequences.

The female is the one that makes or breaks a home, and for some reason in the diaspora, they have decided to break them upon masses mostly over petty things, we see the consequences of this today everywhere.

The beauty about this world is that you reap what you sow, these same home wreckers today have a multitude of health issues as a result of there actions.

A gang banging son in prison who she visits and griefs over, a son that has been killed at the hands of another product from a broken home who she weeps for, a loose disobedient daughter even worse then she was going for her third abortion who has decided to move out with her bf or a useless fat couch potato that curses her.

I think this happens because people lose touch of the masculine & feminine principles or essence. Like both genders devalue each other. Trust me I remember if I was among guys or girls. They were all competitive with each other and I’m like why?? I just want to crack some jokes smoke some crack too just kidding. But I understand your view point.

 

[Farhiya 687]

Do yourself a favour and do not have nuanced conversations with this guy. He is a rabid women hating misogynist who probability physically attacks his sisters in to submission.

There are a few good Somali men out there. I only know 4 successful Somali men with university degrees. However, I can name you many who are selling drugs or working in retail going on thirty. A substantial amount of Somali men are being stabbed to death or are in jail. Which leaves Somali women in a very desperate situation. I say marry out at this point but due to peer pressure from family- Somali women are forced to settle for pond life like @Inquisitive_

When there is not much to choose from you end up with something that will do for now. After a period of the farax bumming it up in the living room refusing to clean up after himself or giving attention to any of his kids, divorce is inevitable.

Idk misunderstanding or the unwilling to get where someone is coming from. Lol is how dumb arguments proceed. Even if I don’t agree it’s interesting how one formatted their opinion. On positive side you pick up the patterns and you can use it. To avoid people with it if you find it toxic.

 

[Inquisitive_]

What do you think should be the consequences of against the wishes of men in our community?

It has nothing to do with the wishes of men, anyone that betrays there children through seeking the destruction of there household through divorce and by extension the future of there children over petty things should be publicly named, shamed and shunned in the community.

But to even action this you must first have a community that can hold people accountable which we unfortunately don't in the diaspora because our female's run the households here even in cases where the father is present.

I had first hand experience in this when once upon a time through ignorance tried to get married here several times and despite the father being present, on every occasion I had to consult her degenerate mother who of course want's a lavish wedding for external validation.

I come to learn later that this is something normal and every other male I know that got married went through this process.

Also you rely on a lot of anecdotal evidence. There are many cases where Somali women go for a divorce from their husbands after being abused or being cheated on. Your perspective is extremely skewed and you rely on emotions rather than logic.

Nothing anecdotal about this at all, unlike you, not only have I seen countless divorces take place but also heard both sides of the story.

Very few of these are 'major', the vast majority are petty and minor and in almost 90% of these cases the female is the one that seeks the destruction of her own household over this while the male is usually left begging to no avail.

But that was 5-10 years ago when the females at least accepted arbitration from family to resolve the dispute and both sides got together as per sunnah to air there grievances

But what we see today from this current decadent generation of Xaalimo's is something new, the complete utter refusal for arbitration all together and forcing divorce over mostly petty minour things.

I have no problems with major things of course (cheating, kufr, physical abuse etc.).

 

[Inquisitive_]

Idk misunderstanding or the unwilling to get where someone is coming from. Lol is how dumb arguments proceed

That's text book definition of 'empathy' which is something the vast majority of people today lack and especially our women in the diaspora from my experience with them.

This attitude breeds the worst forms of selfishness, the type that destroys the future of an entire family on a mere whim

They have been at it for 30 years now in the diaspora and the fruits of these endeavours can be seen by all

It's interesting to note that we do not see these kinds of diseases back home despite the abject poverty and lawlessness there.

It's one of the main reason your seeing an exodus of quality males in my generation going back home to start a family.

 

[Muji]

It has nothing to do with the wishes of men, anyone that betrays there children through seeking the destruction of there household through divorce and by extension the future of there children over petty things should be publicly named, shamed and shunned in the community.

But to even action this you must first have a community that can hold people accountable which we unfortunately don't in the diaspora because our female's run the households here even in cases where the father is present.

I had first hand experience in this when once upon a time through ignorance tried to get married here several times and despite the father being present, on every occasion I had to consult her degenerate mother who of course want's a lavish wedding for external validation.

I come to learn later that this is something normal and every other male I know that got married went through this process.



Nothing anecdotal about this at all, unlike you, not only have I seen countless divorces take place but also heard both sides of the story.

Very few of these are 'major', the vast majority are petty and minor and in almost 90% of these cases the female is the one that seeks the destruction of her own household over this while the male is usually left begging to no avail.

But that was 5-10 years ago when the females at least accepted arbitration from family to resolve the dispute and both sides got together as per sunnah to air there grievances

But what we see today from this current decadent generation of Xaalimo's is something new, the complete utter refusal for arbitration all together and forcing divorce over mostly petty minour things.

I have no problems with major things of course (cheating, kufr, physical abuse etc.).

High divorce rates is a problem for most ethnicities not just Somalis. The problem seems to be people don’t get to know eachother well enough. Most women, before the brain decides if it’s love they rush into mariage. This is through years of social conditioning.

Your solution includes women getting married at 18 or 16 if it’s possible, do you think a teenager can make life long decisions like this? The person who I was when I was 18 is not who I am now. As a teenager I was more into looks and charisma, now I’m into substance and success. If I had taken your advice as a teenager I would have been one of the homewreckers you unleash your anger out on.

Stop veering into the extreme and looking for simple answer such as I blame women. There are many reasons why there is a high single mother rate in the Somali community and the blame cannot be placed on the door of Somali women alone. We all know Somali men ain’t shit in the West wallahi. Most of you are losers and are struggling to compete with men from other races.

 

[Farhiya 687]

That's text book definition of 'empathy' which is something the vast majority of people today lack and especially our women in the diaspora from my experience with them.

This attitude breeds the worst forms of selfishness, the type that destroys the future of an entire family on a mere whim

They have been at it for 30 years now in the diaspora and the fruits of these endeavours can be seen by all

It's interesting to note that we do not see these kinds of diseases back home despite the abject poverty and lawlessness there.

It's one of the main reason your seeing an exodus of quality males in my generation going back home to start a family.

True. Legit sad. We don’t see this back home because they are bonded through struggle. Whereas we are separated by it. No matter how we cut the cake. We are each other’s counterparts. I’m happy when a Somali man is happy or improving. Or when other people talked crap about that annoyed me. Because they’re my countrymen.
Cause if you look through our history. They tirelessly fought against enemies which I’m grateful for. I won’t blame the current state on all or the good one’s. That’s unfair AF.

 

[Farhiya 687]

High divorce rates is a problem for most ethnicities not just Somalis. The problem seems to be people don’t get to know eachother well enough. Most women, before the brain decides if it’s love they rush into mariage. This is through years of social conditioning.

Your solution includes women getting married at 18 or 16 if it’s possible, do you think a teenager can make life long decisions like this? The person who I was when I was 18 is not who I am now. As a teenager I was more into looks and charisma, now I’m into substance and success. If I had taken your advice as a teenager I would have been one of the homewreckers you unleash your anger out on.

Stop veering into the extreme and looking for simple answer such as I blame women. There are many reasons why there is a high single mother rate in the Somali community and the blame cannot be placed on the door of Somali women alone. We all know Somali men ain’t shit in the West wallahi. Most of you are losers and are struggling to compete with men from other races.

“There are many reasons why there is a high single mother rate in the Somali community and the blame cannot be placed on the door of Somali women alone.”- Agreed.
The issues are multilayer for sure. But we mustn’t attack each other. It’s pointless.

 

[Inquisitive_]

High divorce rates is a problem for most ethnicities not just Somalis. The problem seems to be people don’t get to know eachother well enough. Most women, before the brain decides if it’s love they rush into mariage. This is through years of social conditioning.

We have by far the highest and it's not even close and not just that but the children that are raised in our broken homes end up far worse then any other Muslim group like for like!

Why don't we see the same with the Asian's/Arab's and even the Habeshi' broken homes?

Your solution includes women getting married at 18 or 16 if it’s possible, do you think a teenager can make life long decisions like this? The person who I was when I was 18 is not who I am now

.
The only solution in the diaspora is a strong robust community that holds each other accountable, you see this with the Arab/Asian's.

There female folk already have countless vetted suitors lined up for them by there families unlike us were everyone fends for themselves off the streets.

The Somali couples that I have seen who thrive went down this route!

I recently provided national statistics how young marriages have significantly lower divorce rates then those who marry in there late 20's or 30's.

Hence you @16-18 is more tolerable then you in your late 20's or early 30's now, you carry more psychological baggage and emotional wounds, but at a young age you would have had that purity of mind and soul which makes you fight tooth and nail because it's your first relationship.

It's always the first relationship were people sacrifice the most, everything that follows just becomes routine, we never forget the first one, hence why I made that case and it's also sunnah to get married young.

As a teenager I was more into looks and charisma, now I’m into substance and success. If I had taken your advice as a teenager I would have been one of the homewreckers you unleash your anger out on.

Not knowing anything as you argued when you were 16-18 is far better then thinking you know it all as you do now in your late 20's which is highly toxic and likely to destroy your marriage.

Stop veering into the extreme and looking for simple answer such as I blame women. There are many reasons why there is a high single mother rate in the Somali community and the blame cannot be placed on the door of Somali women alone. We all know Somali men ain’t shit in the West wallahi. Most of you are losers and are struggling to compete with men from other races.

Females are biologically predisposed to hypergamy, the fact you got with a loser tells me that loser is above you since women always go for men that are in a better position then themselves

Your insulting yourself here without even realising it by making this preposterous claim.