Is a 22 year age gap too much?

[Jaydaan]

Some people cry about a 5 year gap. I've seen some people on Twitter saying that a 25 year old man can't be with an 18 year or even a 21 year old. Mentally ill wallahi.

As for a 22 year gap? If both parties are okay with it then

He can be her man and her dad…1 in 2. Sounds great

 

[minaaa]

He can be her man and her dad…1 in 2. Sounds great

You have a messed up imagination bruv... anyways capitalize of that I hear Disney and Hollywood love niggas like you

 

[Mercury]

That dad and her brothers are a joke how you gonna be fine with your daughter/sister be alone with a guy whose in his 40s

Terrible leaders who can't even protect or look out for the women in their family

 

[XawoTako]

My family friend was born in 2001 and she wants to marry this guy who was born in 1979 Her father approves because apparently he knows the guys and thinks he’s good enough, but her mom, myself and the rest of the family are quite skeptical. Wtf does an old ass man want from a young girl. The thing is he’s kinda a weirdo with hippie vibes and likes hiking/ nature. He doesn’t look old tbh and they have the same interests. She really likes him because he takes her on vacations to explore different places her parents would never let her go to. Right now they’re in Greece and a couple of weeks ago they were in Thailand.

Should I just leave her alone and let her wait and see how things turn out or should I try to force a set up with a family friend she used to date but ended up dropping for this guy.

Why are they going on vacation together? They not even married yet!

 

[Macalin dheerow]

The woman is 20 this year, she is old enough to know whats right and whats wrong. They seem to get along, be happy for her. She is an adult, not a kid anymore.

 

[Xaruun]

It’s way too late. He’s already flown her out and been in those flaps. They’re better off marrying to retain what honor she has left, given that he’s Muslim.

 

[akaA2]

It’s way too late. He’s already flown her out and been in those flaps. They’re better off marrying to retain what honor she has left, given that he’s Muslim.

It's spilt milk.

 

[celidheere]

nothing wrong with it

 

[NeseN]

Omg f*ck u nigguh take me to Thailand rn then.., abahawas uk he invited me to come to there Greece trip

I’ll take to you Thailand but I’m 60. Do not worry, I look 30.

 

[Shimbiris]

This is why I have very little faith in the avg Somali father to protect or care for his daughters. Any other non-Somali aabo would’ve been absolutely disgusted and enraged and would want to protect his daughter instinctively. He’d encourage her to get an educating but instead he wants her to be with an old tired man who will control and abuse her. So in other words he has the best interest of the man at heart and not his own daughter’s smh!

Also, this guy is not even a millennial, he’s gen X. There are two whole generations between him and her. Also at age 41 gen x farah why is he single if he’s so amaizing smh. May God protect this poor girl smh.

There are, for better or worse, plenty of non-Somali aabos who would do exactly what her aabo did.

 

[Xaruun]

There are, for better or worse, plenty of non-Somali aabos who would do exactly what her aabo did.

Cadaan abos would probably hand the oday a pack of condoms and give him a wink

 

[Shimbiris]

Cadaan abos would probably hand the oday a pack of condoms and give him a wink

LOOOOL! I dunno about cadaans, to be honest. But I do know plenty of 3rd world, traditional types would do this. Desis, various sorts of African and Middle-Easterners. Abaayo is being a bit much in claiming this is unique to Somalis.

 

[Caaro]

This is why I have very little faith in the avg Somali father to protect or care for his daughters. Any other non-Somali aabo would’ve been absolutely disgusted and enraged and would want to protect his daughter instinctively. He’d encourage her to get an educating but instead he wants her to be with an old tired man who will control and abuse her. So in other words he has the best interest of the man at heart and not his own daughter’s smh!

Also, this guy is not even a millennial, he’s gen X. There are two whole generations between him and her. Also at age 41 gen x farah why is he single if he’s so amaizing smh. May God protect this poor girl smh.

There are, for better or worse, plenty of non-Somali aabos who would do exactly what her aabo did.

I was just about to say that lol, are you telling me no other fathers from sh*thole countries have married their teenage daughters off to middle aged men? Happens all the time in Africa and Asia.

Not that it makes this situation any better but stop singling out Somalis ffs.

 

[Amirah]

There are, for better or worse, plenty of non-Somali aabos who would do exactly what her aabo did.

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[Shimbiris]

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Just gonna agree to disagree with you on this. It's very common in what Hot Ballah called "shithole" countries but maybe not among the affluent types you encounter in America. Those aren't run of the mill Arabs, Asians and whatnot. It's especially common in rural and quite underdeveloped areas of such parts of the world. Hell, at least Somalis aren't usually going for prepubescents:

Yemeni child bride, eight, 'dies on wedding night'

Yemen locals claim a girl has died of internal bleeding after marrying a man five times her age, but official denies allegations

www.theguardian.com

 

[Caaro]

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[Shimbiris]

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It's pretty odd that this situation is being compared to more traditional stuff in the 3rd world where odays sit down with other odays and basically barter off their daughter without her consent to an older man. In this case, she brought the man home, she's dating him, she wants him and he just so happens to be 22 years older than her and her father just doesn't want to interfere and doesn't mind. It's not the same.

 

[Amirah]

Just gonna agree to disagree with you on this. It's very common in what Hot Ballah called "shithole" countries but maybe not among the affluent types you encounter in America. Those aren't run of the mill Arabs, Asians and whatnot. It's especially common in rural and quite underdeveloped areas of such parts of the world. Hell, at least Somalis aren't usually going for prepubescents:

Yemeni child bride, eight, 'dies on wedding night'

Yemen locals claim a girl has died of internal bleeding after marrying a man five times her age, but official denies allegations

www.theguardian.com

We weren’t talking about rural/underdeveloped countries here, the father in question lives in the west and his daughter most likely born/raised here. And no, not all these “affluent” Arabs or Asians I see are all from affluent backgrounds. Anyways to operate as though you’re living in Somalia while residing in developed countries like this father(and many others like him)makes this even more pathetic really. And FYI your entire argument is basically two wrongs make it right. Just because Yemenis are guilty of child brides does not somehow justify what’s going on in our own community. Pointing out shitty practices/norms of others does not make yours any less severe. I rest my case.

 

[Amirah]

It's pretty odd that this situation is being compared to more traditional stuff in the 3rd world where odays sit down with other odays and basically barter off their daughter without her consent to an older man. In this case, she brought the man home, she's dating him, she wants him and he just so happens to be 22 years older than her and her father just doesn't want to interfere and doesn't mind. It's not the same.

If you’re a parent of 19 year old it is your job to guide them and not support them in whatever crazy decision they make. Not “interfering” isn’t something to be proud of. But you know what it’s whatever, it’s not like you or @Hot Ballah will ever truly be impartial when it comes to issues in the community that affect women.

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Funny you accuse me of making baseless arguments based on my own observations and yet you say something like “they’re not being protected…they’re just treated like property” so confidently like you know this is factual 100%.

 

[Shimbiris]

As a parent of 19 year old it is your job to guide them and not support them in whatever crazy decision they make. Not “interfering” isn’t something to be proud of. But you know what it’s whatever, it’s not like you or @Hot Ballah will ever truly be impartial when it comes to issues in the community that affect women.

Walaashay, I don't know them or the whole situation. Just what a friend knows and has shared on an internet forum. I refuse to be too judgmental based on such information. For all we know he did initially disprove but she put her foot down and he relented whereas her mother is still not budging. We don't really know anything. And it's a bit silly to indict an entire ethnic group over this one family's drama.

We weren’t talking about rural/underdeveloped countries here, the father in question lives in the west and his daughter most likely born/raised here. And no, not all these “affluent” Arabs or Asians I see are all from affluent backgrounds. Anyways to operate as though you’re living in Somalia while residing in developed countries like this father(and many others like him)makes this even more pathetic really. And FYI your entire argument is basically two wrongs make it right. Just because Yemenis are guilty of child brides does not somehow justify what’s going on in our own community. Pointing out shitty practices/norms of others does not make yours any less severe. I rest my case.

Anyone who makes it to the US from the old world outside of Europe, especially without seeking asylum, is well-off by 3rd world standards. These are not people whose parents were reer badiyo yesterday, 9 times out of 10. That is what I mean by affluent. They are not representative of the vast majority of Asians, Arabs, Africans and whatnot. And in terms of real known statistics I've seen rather than anecdotes, Somalia is neither the world capital for forced marriages or underage brides:

And in contrast to a lot of these communities in the US, Somalis come from a wartorn country with a barely functioning government and many of their parents were asylum seekers who were liisiing a geel or lo or living in some tuulo before they got to the US whilst being influenced by hardline, gulf funded Sheikhs with loads of backward ideas to boot hence all the jilbabs and indho shareer that were never a part of our culture.

That being said, I don't support any of this and am on your side about that. I was not practicing whataboutism. As in "They do it or do it more so it's not bad when we do it." This should be looked into and condemned where needed among Somalis. I'm just pointing out that we're not truly the worst offenders in the world at all.