Is there someone in your family you can discuss with about your thoughts? Someone you know might be sympathetic and understanding? Also, despite sins we commit against God, keeping your ties to him is fundamental despite the sins. There is only one sin that is considered unforgivable in the eyes of God, and that is the worship of others with him. As long as you keep the monotheism and you don't associate anyone with God in your worship, the rest will be forgiven.
Also, killing yourself is bigger sin than being a lesbian. Anyone who kills themselves will be punished with the method they killed themselves with over and over again. It will be double strike to die in your own hands and then get punished with the same method.
Killing yourself must be out of your thoughts because there is nothing so far you said that warrants such punishment to yourself. Life is a gift, and you are supposed to enjoy that gift through living to your full potential.
You need to seek help from where you can and share your thoughts like you did. Most important is to talk to people who are sincere and knowledgeable who can give you some insights without taking advantage of you.
Also, you haven't slept with a guy and you don't know if you will like it better than what you have experienced, so limiting your experience to what you know and decide your life is doomed is silly.
You can also ask your dad or the person responsible for your hand now to have you married. Perhaps is the quickest way to independent life outside your home where you can learn a lot about yourself. Ask to be married to a Somali guy from Hargaysa so you leave that hell hole Saudi Arabia Asap.
Taking your life is never an option and nothing warrants that based on what you said about yourself.
You also need to cut ties to people and what makes you persist in what you wish to change. Good luck.
Last edited:
