Has anyone ever come across Somali parents that don’t let their daughters get married?

[empressjamila]

I have a friend going through this right now. Also Somali. She’s 25 turning 26 and really wants to get married. Her mom keeps telling her “what’s the rush” “go get your masters degree and a better job instead of being desperate for nin” even though she has a decent job already and she’s not broke lol.

She introduced a suitor to her family last year and her parents refused him for really stupid reasons and threatened her if she went along with marrying him so she let him go. She doesn’t think her family has her best interest in mind, and they just want her to stay at home so she can continue taking care of them. They obv aren’t letting her move out as a single woman either. She has a secret boyfriend now, they want to get married and she’s considering getting married without her parent’s input so she can move out and live her life. Which I understand tbh I think her parents are being very selfish..

I really feel for her I’ve never seen Somali parents acting like that. Usually the minute you finish uni they’re asking where’s the husband at lol. Has anyone come across a Somali family like this?

 

[attash]

That's insane.

 

[King Khufu]

Cos Western Somali guys are looking for a non-african woman instead of a african nan
#MacoroniTime

 

[Lahaine]

First time I've heard about a situation like this maybe they're secretly looking for a suitor they prefer for her.

 

[Yaraye]

I've heard of somali parents like this. Thankfully they are a minority. Parents like this are trying to reap benefits before she gets married. They want that degree and pay check from her.

 

[Odious Delirium]

I have heard of this but never seen it before tho. She's basically a cash cow or they went to the other extreme which is probably gonna become more common and not let them get married until they get PhD or meet whatever other crazy goals they have in mind.

this is more common in the asian community

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Is she unattractive? Is she the least favourite? These are usually the reasons why narcissists keep their daughters from getting hitched.

 

[mohamedismail]

I've heard of somali parents like this. Thankfully they are a minority. Parents like this are trying to reap benefits before she gets married. They want that degree and pay check from her.

Parents are actually holding their daughter back. They will later try to pressure her to get married after she is 30+. They are setting their daughters up for failure.

 

[Three Moons]

She introduced a suitor to her family last year and her parents refused him for really stupid reasons and threatened her if she went along with marrying him so she let him go.

Translation: she dragged an Ajanabi into her parents house and the parents chimped out.

She has a secret boyfriend now, they want to get married and she’s considering getting married without her parent’s input so she can move out and live her life.

Translation; she remixed the plot with another Ajanabi and is now willing to enter into an illegitimate marriage.

 

[King Khufu]

It oddly doesn't sound like very good advice that's sensible for a female,
But it sounds extremely practical that's much smarter for being a male first to keep fundings saved up!

Stack money for a male means the female
Not let her children struggle or home unkempt.

 

[Basra]

Hooyo wants a nurse for her old rainy days

 

[King Khufu]

However the benefit of her being productive working keeps her responsible financially.

Which means she'll take a clean sharp guy that's a sure match winner for her to treat her nice with money to match. It's a so-so outcome. But a very patient one meanwhile.

However it's a choice that is made for the mature and serious. For longer lasting results. Life is lived best taken serious.

 

[Macawisley]

I have a friend going through this right now. Also Somali. She’s 25 turning 26 and really wants to get married. Her mom keeps telling her “what’s the rush” “go get your masters degree and a better job instead of being desperate for nin” even though she has a decent job already and she’s not broke lol.

She introduced a suitor to her family last year and her parents refused him for really stupid reasons and threatened her if she went along with marrying him so she let him go. She doesn’t think her family has her best interest in mind, and they just want her to stay at home so she can continue taking care of them. They obv aren’t letting her move out as a single woman either. She has a secret boyfriend now, they want to get married and she’s considering getting married without her parent’s input so she can move out and live her life. Which I understand tbh I think her parents are being very selfish..

I really feel for her I’ve never seen Somali parents acting like that. Usually the minute you finish uni they’re asking where’s the husband at lol. Has anyone come across a Somali family like this?

So basically they rejected him based on Qaabil or what?

 

[empressjamila]

So basically they rejected him based on Qaabil or what?

It was because of his job. He works in a blue collar field. Makes very good money though

 

[canjeeroiyoshah]

Sounds like narcissistic parents who only see how they will be affected. Very selfish.

Tell you friend to take control of her life, she's a grown ass woman ffs.

 

[Macawisley]

It was because of his job. He works in a blue collar field. Makes very good money though

I don’t get it, why do they care about his job as long as he is providing for their daughter and she is happy.

As long as he is somali, Muslim, and their daughter is happy with him why should they care?

 

[Burqad]

It was because of his job. He works in a blue collar field. Makes very good money though

If he’s Somali why do the parents give a shit how much he makes. She should bring them an ajanebi and threaten to marry him if somaliga baa loo dida.

 

[Macawisley]

If he’s Somali why do the parents give a shit how much he makes. She should bring them an ajanebi and threaten to marry him if somaliga baa loo dida.

The job thing is an excuse, I genuinely think it is because of Qaabil.

 

[Dualke]

The job thing is an excuse, I genuinely think it is because of Qaabil.

Do Somali parents actually discriminate qabil? I thought it was a myth since I have MX aunts that married HG shortly after the civil war

 

[Burqad]

The job thing is an excuse, I genuinely think it is because of Qaabil.

Do Somali parents actually discriminate qabil? I thought it was a myth since I have MX aunts that married HG shortly after the civil war

Diaspora Somalis don’t care usually, as long as they’re Somali maxamed they’re good.