Haram vs halal relationship

[Kodeen]

I know myself and trust myself , so I guess it's the "haram" route for me but I really don't consider going to dinner and hanging out in public with a guy I am interested in haram. If I make it clear that out interactions are staying halal until marriage and if he still tries it then byeee.
Obviously meeting in certain settings and times is off limitless still

Basically me, except I don't know my limits and could potentially try it sooner or later.



How blunt does the attempt have to be for you to run off into the wind like Forrest?

What if a nigga is super subtle. "I have a 24 piece Ferrero Rocher box and a vanilla mousse that will expire literally now if I don't finish it. Obviously throwing it out is haram, so I, an ikhwaan halal bruda, need your help sister, jazakallah khairan"

 

[Blade1]

Jerome Jerome Jerome. haram haram haram
You can have your parents set a person up for you or a friend set you up whichever is okay for you. You can get to know a person maybe you met in school or something and use a wali for any activities you make clear you want to to know them for marriage prospect solely.
There's people who have had the same thing happen when going the haram route but people want to bash going the halal route to make them feel justified since they are in haram relationships and it makes them feel better to see a bad outcome from halal relationship.
One is haram for a reason and Allah's knows us better than we do.
I've seen alot of haram couples and I've yet to see one keep it halal in physical intimacy. I would be able to but they might have said the same thing.
My parents aren't really like you can only have partner through us or one guy/girl they chose to my older sister and us younger, they told her to find a guy herself maybe at uni or something they trust us to do halal way luckily my siblings and me have the same mindset since somalis just find the partner unless you ask for help to find someone.
I just think it's better to use a wali for more serious discussions and for me ill atleast know the person beforehand before I use a wali for talks.
Idk if I'm confusing I confused myself

 

[esmailxxx]

@Blade1 you gave me a qashin are you against dating?

 

[jamal9]

Jerome Jerome Jerome. haram haram haram
You can have your parents set a person up for you or a friend set you up whichever is okay for you. You can get to know a person maybe you met in school or something and use a wali for any activities you make clear you want to to know them for marriage prospect solely.
There's people who have had the same thing happen when going the haram route but people want to bash going the halal route to make them feel justified since they are in haram relationships and it makes them feel better to see a bad outcome from halal relationship.
One is haram for a reason and Allah's knows us better than we do.
I've seen alot of haram couples and I've yet to see one keep it halal in physical intimacy. I would be able to but they might have said the same thing.
My parents aren't really like you can only have partner through us or one guy/girl they chose to my older sister and us younger, they told her to find a guy herself maybe at uni or something they trust us to do halal way luckily my siblings and me have the same mindset since somalis just find the partner unless you ask for help to find someone.
I just think it's better to use a wali for more serious discussions and for me ill atleast know the person beforehand before I use a wali for talks.
Idk if I'm confusing I confused myself

u r a smart ass chic.

 

[Blue]

I'm not reading all of that

 

[Blade1]

@Blade1 you gave me a qashin are you against dating?

Haram dating yes

 

[MariaMaria]

I really don't get what's haram about hanging out with someone they way you do with your friends. Eating out, going cinema, going to the park , talking on the phone, none of these things will lead to sex unless you have a weak moral standing.

Basically me, except I don't know my limits and could potentially try it sooner or later.



How blunt does the attempt have to be for you to run off into the wind like Forrest?

no inviting me to his place
no 'hanging' out in his car
no over night trips or holidays together

you can flirt but ya can't touch, that's a no no

 

[AliUK]

Wait wait wait are you telling me the wali is going to be listening in on your convos, I thought they just had to be in the same room as you. Like if you are in the restaurant with her and her dad is taking her mum out and they are across the restaurant.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

Wait wait wait are you telling me the wali is going to be listening in on your convos, I thought they just had to be in the same room as you. Like if you are in the restaurant with her and her dad is taking her mum out and they are across the restaurant.

I assumed the wali would be sitting at the same table as you and the chick.

They are supervising the date

 

[Jake from State Farm]

@Blade1 i left a message on my original post saying to tell me the reason why you keep rating my post as qashin.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

Dont trust anyone! If she has a body count of more than one dont marry her.Ask around , if she has a high body count she is comparing you to her exes and thus you must constantly prove yourself in all matters of ways.

This is why virginity in women is prized , virgin women arent constantly shit testing you over the smallest thing.They respect you and you are her "best".

Work on foreplay and just practice in bed with the chick. Find out what stimulates her.

I see too many dudes pass over chicks because either she has a kid or they assume she has a high body count.

I haven’t heard of married men complaining about their wife comparing them to her exes.

I have been attracted to non Muslims my whole life so focusing on a chicks body count was never really something that popped into my head.

 

[CangeeroBear]

Work on foreplay and just practice in bed with the chick. Find out what stimulates her.

I see too many dudes pass over chicks because either she has a kid or they assume she has a high body count.

I haven’t heard of married men complaining about their wife comparing them to her exes.

I have been attracted to non Muslims my whole life so focusing on a chicks body count was never really something that popped into my head.

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[CangeeroBear]

I really don't get what's haram about hanging out with someone they way you do with your friends. Eating out, going cinema, going to the park , talking on the phone, none of these things will lead to sex unless you have a weak moral standing.





no inviting me to his place
no 'hanging' out in his car
no over night trips or holidays together

you can flirt but ya can't touch, that's a no no

Thats not how it works.Chemical signals in the brains of both men and women counter rationality, women more so.When it comes to sex the beast comes out , there is no rationality nor logic.Your mind is in another state, hence avoid such circumstances like you avoid the plague.

 

[Crow]

Haram relationships might be easier but there is a price. By disobeying Allah in this matter, you are cursing your marriage before it's even begun.

This is also why I am against gender mixed weddings. Sure, they are funner but one day of festivities isn't worth risking my marriage (and thus the rest of my life).

Marriage is a very serious thing in life. This is the person who you will have children with and live with for the rest of your life. It isn't worth risking just to make courtship and festivities easier.

Besides the person you are in a haram relationship with is also doing something wrong. Two people weak in faith who are attracted to each other and alone is a recipe for disaster.

Perhaps you could find a better spouse. You want someone who will be better than you in deen for your sake and that of your children.

If they are open to haram relationships, that's already a bad sign.

 

[RICH]

Personally I would date someone to get to know each other and getting all touchy touchy is really hard to avoid when there are feelings. That’s why you shouldn’t put yourself in a situation where it can get out of hand. Don’t date too long just to avoid zina and it’s best to make it halal asap when both are ready. Btw I don’t think dating is the same as having a haram relationship. I see it as a “courting-phase”

Eventually when we both think we want to continue things with each other I would tell my mother. My father will be informed when everything is set. I would not involve him from the beginning to have his “blessing”, cause I don’t think that is needed.

Islamically my way isn’t the right way, but involving your mahram makes getting to know someone a big thing. It feels like you have to marry the person if he gets to know your father from the beginning.

 

[RICH]

This is also why I am against gender mixed weddings. Sure, they are funner but one day of festivities isn't worth risking my marriage (and thus the rest of my life).

This wallaahi.

 

[esmailxxx]

Haram relationships might be easier but there is a price. By disobeying Allah in this matter, you are cursing your marriage before it's even begun.

This is also why I am against gender mixed weddings. Sure, they are funner but one day of festivities isn't worth risking my marriage (and thus the rest of my life).

Marriage is a very serious thing in life. This is the person who you will have children with and live with for the rest of your life. It isn't worth risking just to make courtship and festivities easier.

Besides the person you are in a haram relationship with is also doing something wrong. Two people weak in faith who are attracted to each other and alone is a recipe for disaster.

Perhaps you could find a better spouse. You want someone who will be better than you in deen for your sake and that of your children.

If they are open to haram relationships, that's already a bad sign.

What about dating for a month or two then do nikah,isnt it important as long as the parents know to know each other alittle

 

[Crow]

What about dating for a month or two then do nikah,isnt it important as long as the parents know to know each other alittle

I haven't researched this but I think you're supposed to have a man from her family accompanying you on all dates from day one.

 

[AliUK]

Personally I would date someone to get to know each other and getting all touchy touchy is really hard to avoid when there are feelings. That’s why you shouldn’t put yourself in a situation where it can get out of hand. Don’t date too long just to avoid zina and it’s best to make it halal asap when both are ready. Btw I don’t think dating is the same as having a haram relationship. I see it as a “courting-phase”

Eventually when we both think we want to continue things with each other I would tell my mother. My father will be informed when everything is set. I would not involve him from the beginning to have his “blessing”, cause I don’t think that is needed.

Islamically my way isn’t the right way, but involving your mahram makes getting to know someone a big thing. It feels like you have to marry the person if he gets to know your father from the beginning.

You do know chances are your dad and mum talked to many people and courted some before they found and married each other. You shouldn't date in a haraam manner because your parents will think you have to get married to him, just explain to them from the jump, Taht you are getting to know each other and this doesn't mean anything yet.

 

[AliUK]

I haven't researched this but I think you're supposed to have a man from her family accompanying you on all dates from day one.

Yh you supposed to have a male family member she can't marry like a bro,dad,uncle and grandad. Cousins of any kind(first or second) don't count as she could islamically get married to them.