Halimo asks why well off Somali men stay single but gets shut down by other users

[Abdalla]

That's if your handwashing it. Washing machines do it way more then 7 times. What's worse is lack of barakah for as long as you have a dog in your household

If my memory from my Fiqh lessons serve me correct, you need to wash it 5 times with water and 2 times with sand. Angels won’t enter your house either.

 

[Abdalla]

People over analyze this topic. The more educated you are, the more you overthink and the less assertive one becomes. This is the reason why highly educated folks postpone marriage. They overthink. Marriage is sweet when you’re young and careless. It becomes a burden as you age. A 20 year old mother can easily wake up few times a night compared to a 39 year old mother.

 

[Odious Delirium]

If my memory from my Fiqh lessons serve me correct, you need to wash it 5 times with water and 2 times with sand. Angels won’t enter your house either.

Water and soap will suffice and due to modern conveniences you won't have to keep count.
Lack of barakah due to absence of angels.

 

[Abba Sadacha]

Whats the mgtow movement?

''Men Going Their Own Way,'' basically, a lot of men refusing to marry or have anything to do with women, for various reasons (i.e. divorce laws being heavily ''pro women'' and ''anti men'').

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[Khaem]

''Men Going Their Own Way,'' basically, a lot of men refusing to marry or have anything to do with women, for various reasons (i.e. divorce laws being heavily ''pro women'' and ''anti men'').

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Somalis don't really have that apart from some down bad abdis. It's basically impossible for a somali man to be an incel in the literal sense since somalis only marry each other and not foreigners so if you live in a area with lots of Somalis you can always be certain there are lots of Somali girls around who are looking for a somali guy.
Or you can just take a trip home to Somalia and get married in a couple weeks.

 

[Angelina]

I don’t think most Somali guys hold those views only a portion do. It’s just the lack of self awareness that’s disgusting. To accuse others of being selfish when demanding the world is crazy. They are literally behaving the way the accuse us of behaving.

I get why they think younger diaspora Somali girls are selfish. Many men grow up with the idea of marriage being about women making sacrifices, and being selfless, whilst traditionally the same isn’t expected of men. They’ve seen their mother and they’ve heard and seen their grandmothers who have endured aspects of marriages that simply didn’t benefit them at all, whilst it benefited their husbands. Younger women now look at what makes them happy and benefits them the way men do and it bothers them. As women they think we’re always meant to put men first which is why in their minds they’re allowed to put themselves first but we’re not allowed to look after our own interests.

 

[Man with a garuun]

I get why they think younger diaspora Somali girls are selfish. Many men grow up with the idea of marriage being about women making sacrifices, and being selfless, whilst traditionally the same isn’t expected of men. They’ve seen their mother and they’ve heard and seen their grandmothers who have endured aspects of marriages that simply didn’t benefit them at all, whilst it benefited their husbands. Younger women now look at what makes them happy and benefits them the way men do and it bothers them. As women they think we’re always meant to put men first which is why in their minds they’re allowed to put themselves first but we’re not allowed to look after our own interests.

And what is your own interest?

 

[Angelina]

And what is your own interest?

Example, older gen women would be the ones to believe that a man shouldn’t ever go into the kitchen and that if they need help they’ll enlist the help of other women outside of the immediate family like sisters and cousins. That goes against their interest as when the wife is ill she’s at times shipped to family members or one of the women in the family come to look after her. Yet when it’s the husband that is Ill she’s the one that is doing everything for him. As a woman looking after your interests would be expecting your husband to help you, teaching your sons to be able to cook ect.

What I’m saying isn’t false and obviously not all Somali men are the same. But culturally, especially back home, men never go into the kitchen or ever help at home. In Somalia right now a lot of young men don’t have jobs because of our rubbish government, but it’s still ceeb for a guy to help. Hence, they’re unemployed,( young men) and are served hand and foot.

 

[Man with a garuun]

Example, older gen women would be the ones to believe that a man shouldn’t ever go into the kitchen and that if they need help they’ll enlist the help of other women outside of the immediate family like sisters and cousins. That goes against their interest as when the wife is ill she’s at times shipped to family members or one of the women in the family come to look after her. Yet when it’s the husband that is Ill she’s the one that is doing everything for him. As a woman looking after your interests would be expecting your husband to help you, teaching your sons to be able to cook ect.

What I’m saying isn’t false and obviously not all Somali men are the same. But culturally, especially back home, men never go into the kitchen or ever help at home. In Somalia right now a lot of young men don’t have jobs because of our rubbish government, but it’s still ceeb for a guy to help. Hence, they’re unemployed,( young men) and are served hand and foot.

Basically, a man has to be able to cook for his family when it is required. In the West, I can understand that. Back home, they usually hire maids to help their wives out.

 

[Angelina]

Basically, a man has to be able to cook for his family when it is required. In the West, I can understand that. Back home, they usually hire maids to help their wives out.

Bit of a problem when it comes to the younger generations of Somali guys back home. They’re poorer than their fathers gen. Found it so sad that many can’t get jobs unless they’re diaspora or have connections. They’re still marrying though but at times his family have to help him provide. How are they going to ask for maid in addition? Just don’t think it’s fair they have that culture of men being served hand and foot tbh. I’m not even talking about the cooking, but basic things even the most laziest of Western Farax would do himself like his own laundry or any form of cleaning like his own room isn’t a thing there. I’ve seen wives who live in joint households due to finances having to do the laundry of all the men of the household even his little brothers and men are exempt of doing any housework even if they’re unemployed. At this point it isn’t even about cooking, it’s basic things like look after your own clothes and do your own room and it’s isn’t just about husbands but when the unmarried men.

Again I’m not saying this is all Somali men. Just something I noticed from my trips back home. I can’t even blame the guys as it’s the older mothers who enforce it, despite later complaining. It’s like they’re their worst enemies. I even came across someone saying that a guy in the area and his wife gets teased as he does vegetable shopping for the family by the women in the area! . Supposedly, in the area I was staying at that’s ceeb as the men are just meant to give the wife money and she shops. He isn’t meant to go to the market buying Veg.

 

[no 3456]

I don't care if she is from west or back home halimox need to chill the f*ck out let the man run his house his kids his business and dey sit back, relax look good smell good dress good cook and clean oh f*ck good not no dead fish and don't give him problem(shut the f*ck up)