Halimo asks why well off Somali men stay single but gets shut down by other users
- Thread starter onthecloud
- Start date
Making the wrong decision about who to marry can be devastating to either sex. Men, in particular, can be quite fearful.
Also, some people value their freedom and feel it's easier to seek out opportunities when they are single/not married. You have to consult a spouse if you want to gallivant across the globe to seek fruitful educational or work opportunities.
Some men can be one-track minds and prefer single-mindedly pursuing their goals without someone in the picture. It's common among the avoidantly attached who value independence, freedom and emotional self-reliance. That's cool when you're single, but it doesn't bode well in a healthy relationship which involves reciprocal dependence. The adage no man is an island unto himself is true but some have been deceived into believing relying on others is a weakness.
Also, some people value their freedom and feel it's easier to seek out opportunities when they are single/not married. You have to consult a spouse if you want to gallivant across the globe to seek fruitful educational or work opportunities.
Some men can be one-track minds and prefer single-mindedly pursuing their goals without someone in the picture. It's common among the avoidantly attached who value independence, freedom and emotional self-reliance. That's cool when you're single, but it doesn't bode well in a healthy relationship which involves reciprocal dependence. The adage no man is an island unto himself is true but some have been deceived into believing relying on others is a weakness.
In rare cases, some people don't want children and are antsy about marriage (as I stated before). This commitment shy behavior even exists among the religious crowd. Who are made more anxious by the horror stories they hear from the crop of the freshly divorced.
I think its a but selfish to be over 25 and not be in a marriage. We need to build our community the best way to do that is get married and raise a good family.
It's not selfish considering single people are more generous and give more of their time to family, friends and volunteering than married people. You shouldn't concern yourself with other people and imposing a timeline on them. I would rather people select wisely to prevent divorces than have broken homes which defeats the purpose of community building. Those who marry before 25 are more likely to get divorced than those after.
Idk about that. Divorce is always on the table. If you have responsibilities and to bust to get married, thats fine. But if your not and your able, I THINK you should.
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Marriage is a part of our religion Islam. It should not be delayed if one has the ABILITY to get married. If one doesnt have the ability to get married then they can fast instead of marriage.
The person who posted this on Reddit has a valid concern. Men who have the ability for marriage delaying it is not something positive.
The Messenger of Allah said “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will diminish his desire.”
The person who posted this on Reddit has a valid concern. Men who have the ability for marriage delaying it is not something positive.
The Messenger of Allah said “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will diminish his desire.”
The Messenger of Allah said: “Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will boast of your great numbers before the nations. Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire.”
Yaraye
VIP
Xalimos don't care about men not getting married. you posted this didn't you?
Yaraye
VIP
I'm more fascinated by this
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There's many Somalis with dogs.
Yaraye
VIP
no way!
No ethnicity gets more scared around them than us tbh.
There is also a cat epidemic within the Somali women community
Somali guys are free to do as they please but shouldn’t complain about generalizations when they do it much more now.
New age Somali guys are more pessimistic than previous generations. You’re dealing with guys that think you’ll take him to divorce court even when most young Somali couples don’t even do legal marriages. If you contribute they have an issue and if you don’t contribute they view you as a leach. There’s no winning in a scenario when someone views you as a villain from the jump.
New age Somali guys are more pessimistic than previous generations. You’re dealing with guys that think you’ll take him to divorce court even when most young Somali couples don’t even do legal marriages. If you contribute they have an issue and if you don’t contribute they view you as a leach. There’s no winning in a scenario when someone views you as a villain from the jump.
Odious Delirium
VIP
Many somalis in there 30s that are not married probably because they are busy looking after there parents and don't want to put the addition of having to look after and provide futher for a wife and kids yet. This doesn't count as much the other way round since women also look after there parents financially aswell but aren't expected to also buy a house and pay the bills and look after a husband like a guy would have to with a wife who looks after his parents financially.
So most of these guys either don't want to deal with the headache of marrying in addition to that and don't see any good deals worth risking marriage for on the other hand many guys who aren't married by that age simply aren't serious about it and aren't marriage material or are jaded and don't want to marry to spite women who didn't pay attention to them when they where broke. So they end up having very high standards or marry outside the locality like back home or different diaspora/city etc or even just marrying out.
It's like a girl who has had a glow up not giving the guys who mocked her in the past a chance. Generally the jaded look for new opportunities and a clean slate
So most of these guys either don't want to deal with the headache of marrying in addition to that and don't see any good deals worth risking marriage for on the other hand many guys who aren't married by that age simply aren't serious about it and aren't marriage material or are jaded and don't want to marry to spite women who didn't pay attention to them when they where broke. So they end up having very high standards or marry outside the locality like back home or different diaspora/city etc or even just marrying out.
It's like a girl who has had a glow up not giving the guys who mocked her in the past a chance. Generally the jaded look for new opportunities and a clean slate
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