Halimo asks why well off Somali men stay single but gets shut down by other users

[Odious Delirium]

If you contribute they have an issue and if you don’t contribute they view you as a leach. There’s no winning in a scenario when someone views you as a villain from the jump.

That doesn't make sense tho no guy is both of those things.

You first need to decided on what you want to do and then pick based off the type of guy that comes with that choice. No point prepositioning what you want or except to the wrong type of guy.

You will ofcourse be vilified from the jump if your an aspiring career lady and you try to get a trad guy on board with your lifestyle and visversa as a trad stay at home wife with a progressive guy.

 

[Ikranay]

That doesn't make sense tho no guy is both of those things.

You first need to decided on what you want to do and then pick based off the type of guy that comes with that choice. No point prepositioning what you want or except to the wrong type of guy.

You will ofcourse be vilified from the jump if your an aspiring career lady and you try to get a trad guy on board with your lifestyle and visversa as a trad stay at home wife with a progressive guy.

You can quickly figure out that a woman is being hypocritical about her expectations. It’s not hard to do so. Some of these guys take being flexible to either one as being hypocritical. Most Somali women I know are open to being stay out home wives if it is needed. I know many that transitioned out of working because their kids needed them to be home. They are also open to working if there is a need for it too. Contrary to popular belief Somali women we aren’t all selfish people.

 

[Juliet]

Somali guys are free to do as they please but shouldn’t complain about generalizations when they do it much more now.

New age Somali guys are more pessimistic than previous generations. You’re dealing with guys that think you’ll take him to divorce court even when most young Somali couples don’t even do legal marriages. If you contribute they have an issue and if you don’t contribute they view you as a leach. There’s no winning in a scenario when someone views you as a villain from the jump.

never, ever, ever settle with a non legal marriage just to please a guy. its a dead giveaway to his intentions (use and abuse and get away with it without legal precussions)

 

[Rocktheboat]

Being single, young and well off is lit. They probably are dating too

 

[Odious Delirium]

You can quickly figure out that a woman is being hypocritical about her expectations. It’s not hard to do so. Some of these guys take being flexible to either one as being hypocritical. Most Somali women I know are open to being stay out home wives if it is needed. I know many that transitioned out of working because their kids needed them to be home. They are also open to working if there is a need for it too. Contrary to popular belief Somali women we aren’t all selfish people.

I agree somali girls aren't selfish in general but I think another issue in addition to what I already stated previously is that perhaps many guys are looking for the likes of women from there mothers gen who where very selfless and in comparison somali girls are very much selfish and in certain aspects rightly so and in the case of most somali women they want to be anything but like the women of there mothers gen.

So perhaps a lot clash and people not wanting to marry is because of that

I see a lot of guys complaining about women in general on soical media and for the most part this tends to be the main point and the majority of women make it clear they want to be nothing like the previous gen of women because they don't want to suffer like they did.

 

[Abba Sadacha]

To be fair, the somali sister has a point. Money is usually the reason why a man hasn't gotten married. If he had his money and other affairs in order (physically, deen wise, etc), then he got married. Otherwise, our somali sisters and other sisters from other ethnicities may be tempted to seek haraam relations like having boyfriends (I have witnessed it, sadly) (may Allah protect us and them from that).

Has the ''mgtow'' movement infiltrated Muslim societies, such as our Somali cousins? :O *shocked FACE*

 

[Gojo Satoru]

There is also a cat epidemic within the Somali women community

That's just women in general

 

[Gojo Satoru]

There's many Somalis with dogs.

What breeds are most popular lol

 

[Fobnimo Till I Dhimo]

The niggas that have watched too much Hollywood gangstar movies love to flex with foolxumo bahal looking Pit Bulls

 

[Ikranay]

I agree somali girls aren't selfish in general but I think another issue in addition to what I already stated previously is that perhaps many guys are looking for the likes of women from there mothers gen who where very selfless and in comparison somali girls are very much selfish and in certain aspects rightly so and in the case of most somali women they want to be anything but like the women of there mothers gen.

So perhaps a lot clash and people not wanting to marry is because of that

I see a lot of guys complaining about women in general on soical media and for the most part this tends to be the main point and the majority of women make it clear they want to be nothing like the previous gen of women because they don't want to suffer like they did.

Don’t you think that’s extremely immoral on the men’s part? I can understand if they appreciate the sacrifices their mothers made for them but why would you want your future wife to suffer the way your mother did? My father is an amazing man and has made enormous sacrifices for our family but I would never expect my husband to suffer the way he did. Most Somali women with good dads would also say the same.

This is one of the biggest points of contention Somali women have with Somali men. It’s like some of them are inherently selfish people with very little patience or empathy. It’s borderline sociopathic. Making sacrifices is expected in a marriage but to expect us to go through what some of the older gen women have is extremely selfish given that most of us don’t expect the same level of suffering our fathers went through for you.

 

[onthecloud]

Don’t you think that’s extremely immoral on the men’s part? I can understand if they appreciate the sacrifices their mothers made for them but why would you want your future wife to suffer the way your mother did? My father is an amazing man and has made enormous sacrifices for our family but I would never expect my husband to suffer the way he did. Most Somali women with good dads would also say the same.

This is one of the biggest points of contention Somali women have with Somali men. It’s like some of them are inherently selfish people with very little patience or empathy. It’s borderline sociopathic. Making sacrifices is expected in a marriage but to expect us to go through what some of the older gen women have is extremely selfish given that most of us don’t expect the same level of suffering our fathers went through for you.

Selfless in personality, not working themselves too hard. So even being selfless is too much work? It's supposed to come natural to a feminine woman. Somali women today have the energy of a construction worker.

 

[Ikranay]

Selfless in personality, not working themselves too hard. So even being selfless is too much work? It's supposed to come natural to a feminine woman. Somali women today have the energy of a construction worker.

Selflessness is based on actions what are you even saying. What exactly is selflessness in personality if it’s not based off of actions. Do you want women to fake being selfless? Somali women make sacrifices for their families all the time what we don’t want to deal with is unappreciative, ungrateful, and selfish men who refuse to reciprocate that selflessness.


@Javelin this is what I’m talking about. Just extreme pessimism and negativity from some Somali guys that can’t even be logically explained coupled with zero self awareness. Literacy is also a struggle for some of them.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Don’t you think that’s extremely immoral on the men’s part? I can understand if they appreciate the sacrifices their mothers made for them but why would you want your future wife to suffer the way your mother did? My father is an amazing man and has made enormous sacrifices for our family but I would never expect my husband to suffer the way he did. Most Somali women with good dads would also say the same.

This is one of the biggest points of contention Somali women have with Somali men. It’s like some of them are inherently selfish people with very little patience or empathy. It’s borderline sociopathic. Making sacrifices is expected in a marriage but to expect us to go through what some of the older gen women have is extremely selfish given that most of us don’t expect the same level of suffering our fathers went through for you.

No guy actually expects you to go through any suffering and being like the old gen isn't about suffering that's just how women choice to interpret it because thats what some mothers went through and because they want nothing to do with being like the women of that gen so they tend to paint a lot of things more negatively or with gross exaggeration.

Most men just want you to have that selfless nature about you and willingness to sacrifice for them. Basically a ride or die that's what the older gen of women where which the younger gen aren't like in comparison.

Plus the older gen did it for men who had less and had worse circumstances. This current gen has more to offer yet feels it can't even get what worse guys got with more ease. So a worse deal but more costly is what somali guys feel they get with somali girls. To many guys they feel xalimos are entitled and don't benefit them and when they say that they mean they are nothing like the old gen of women and want way more with out offering the same levels of selflessness in exchange.

 

[Ikranay]

No guy actually expects you to go through any suffering and being like the old gen isn't about suffering that's just how women choice to interpret it because thats what some mothers went through and because they want nothing to do with being like the women of that gen so they tend to paint a lot of things more negatively or with gross exaggeration.

Most men just want you to have that selfless nature about you and willingness to sacrifice for them. Basically a ride or die that's what the older gen of women where which the younger gen aren't like in comparison.

Plus the older gen did it for men who had less and had worse circumstances. This current gen has more to offer yet feels it can't even get what worse guys got with more ease. So a worse deal but more costly is what somali guys feel they get with somali girls. To many guys they feel xalimos are entitled and don't benefit them and when they say that they mean they are nothing like the old gen of women and want way more with out offering the same selflessness in exchange.

Most of our parents got married before the war and the majority of Somali dads have post secondary education back home. Many were professionals or in the process of becoming one and some even tried to continue their education in the west but stopped because of their responsibilities like sending money back home. I know we have an age difference but the a good chunk of guys my age do not offer more than what our fathers offered our mothers at the same age before the war started. A lot offer much less than their fathers in addition to bad attitudes, lack of empathy, and poor emotional regulation.
You guys also need to be more specific about what it is that Somali women ask for that our mothers didn’t or ajanabi women don’t. The reality on the ground is Somali women give more than most ajnabi women in relationships to their husbands than the other way around. A lot of other Muslim women work and don’t give their husbands a penny.

 

[GemState]

There are no foreseeable negative consequences to maximizing family size for the next 100 years minimum. You’d be foolish not to be taking advantage of this.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Most of our parents got married before the war and the majority of Somali dads have post secondary education back home. Many were professionals or in the process of becoming one and some even tried to continue their education in the west but stopped because of their responsibilities like sending money back home. I know we have an age difference but the a good chunk of guys my age do not offer more than what our fathers offered our mothers at the same age before the war started. A lot offer much less than their fathers in addition to bad attitudes, lack of empathy, and poor emotional regulation.
You guys also need to be more specific about what it is that Somali women ask for that our mothers didn’t or ajanabi women don’t. The reality on the ground is Somali women give more than most ajnabi women in relationships to their husbands than the other way around. A lot of other Muslim women work and don’t give their husbands a penny.

I'm sharing the general sentiment some somali guys may have to why they don't want to marry and realistically you wouldn't want to marry them. They are telling you that they are unfit for marriage. They dont want to marry because they realise what they want is highly unlikely to come around. It's very much there way or the high way so unless you are willing to bend over backwards and fit into the mould of what they except of you there is no point.

These aren't my sentiments. My personal experience have all been pleasant. the somali girls I have spoken to have been selfless only issue for the most part was not being on the same page on certain things.
As for ajnabis i can't really say as I have no personal references since I have only courted somali girls for marriage so far. As for the working and giving money you don't need to give anything. I'm very much trad I don't except any financial help from a wife whatever she contributes is of her own accord and is a charity

 

[AbdiFreedom]

Somali numbers in the diaspora will start plummeting soon. Those that remain will be absorbed eventually.

 

[Dima&Damo]

No ethnicity gets more scared around them than us tbh.

Rabies

 

[Dima&Damo]

Marriage in 2020s

 

[Hmohamed54]

no way!

You know halima aden has a pet dog