Ion got full context since the post is taken down but how are u gonna agree on who pays what when you don’t know each others income. Looks like she’d rather pay 50/50 or sum shit vs adjusting the costs based on income.
It’s free country no? If woman can sit at home and watch kids why tf can’t I do that?
This is exactly why women hesitate to tell men about their money. The switch up is real.
Abdifreedom, the question didn’t say $25k but 25k hence it could be pounds and if you knew anything about our gaajo island you’d know that teachers make that amount in the first few yrs. Heck even junior doctors make 27k. So it’s a non point for you. I believe she’s from the UK as the agony aunt is a Brit mostly popular with Brit Somalis.
You’ve not read her concerns which shows your becoming a tad biased or misogynistic against women. The girl clearly wants to invest in the money for her kids. It’s only a
It’s evident from the replies by the guys on the forum that they resent providing. I’m in total agreement with them that hiding such a thing would hurt most men as they would feel that their spouse could be hiding more and a general lack of trust, however when we live in a current world in which men believe that you should chip in and if you have a bit more than them that them you should basically provide for them now, is it wise to tell them? The thing is when it comes to a large % of modern men, keeping it a secret will ruin the marriage but so would telling them. As a woman there is no winning as many men are entitled.
He's kinda right though. If she manages the money wisely, both of them would be more than set for life. Why should either of them work after that? Yes, it is his Islamic obligation to provide, but in their specific case provisions aren't needed. Imagine if I ate at a restaurant, then came back home and asked my wife to cook for me. In this case, she would be Islamically obligated to cook, but is it really fair for me to ask her? I don't need any food, just as the woman doesn't need any money.
2million isn’t actually a lot and you’d need a invest a good amount to make sure that your kids inherit a lot of money. I wouldn’t quit working if had 2million as I’d invest in starting a business and continue working from there. Remember a house in London for a family is 800k to a 1.5 million. Like I said in this economy 2 million really isn’t a lot.
2Million is a lot and enough to retire. What are you on about? Putting all the money into a non managed index fund returns about 7% - 11% which is essentially $140,000 - $200,000. This is money you get without working and you don't spend on management fees too.
I would not want to stop working too until I make $1m passively. But ur point, "Like I said in this economy 2 million really isn’t a lot." is totally wrong.
I am not doubting you here but I don't think that is the case.
You are broke & single so shut up.why should that even affect you?
I do believe they’re in the UK since the blog is UK based and I can’t imagine a teacher in America making such a tiny amount. She also says they’re doing well which by UK standards 50k is a lot and 24k is normal for teachers.
The question didn’t specify what she is and isn’t doing. For all you know she could be. She’s made it clear that she’s saving the money and how she’s doing it, you don’t know so your point is moot.
You have no idea. The question literally said she wants to save for her kids. What are you basing it on? That she’s a Somali woman? How can you interpret and analyze this when she’s point blank said that she wants to save the money and you have no context to go off by? Where does it say she’s a spendthrift, where does it say that they have financial problems? Nothing says that. In fact she got her original money through her own investments which shows she has a good head on her shoulders. So why would you create a whole story on absolutely no context?!
Lol, I was about to bring that up. All our lives we are told as Muslim women husbands can marry without our permission so what now? If we argue against that we will have dozens of Sheikhs on our necks. Also, a man hiding kids is 10x times worse as the kids will have siblings they won’t know about which will mess up inheritance disputes by a lot of as children inherit the lion’s share! Also, don’t get me started on potiental STIs since many sexual transmitted diseases can happen without someone committing Zina. How is a wife meant to protect herself and get him to get tested ect if she is none the wiser that’s she’s sharing a sexual partner?! Really shows the level of entitlement men have in which they’ll compare secret second wives to a secret bank account they’re not meant to have anything to do with Islamically anyways?@AbdiFreedom watch how these women change their stance about ,"hiding" important information like this from their spouses, when its about marrying a second wife .
modern muslim women are only traditionalists when its about mehr & provision .
True. People underestimate the power of investing and compound interest. At round 7% you will double that money in 10 years. That's 200k per year passively. If you continue working and saving the pot will get even bigger.
Hey, it doesn’t make logical sense for a woman to continue obeying her husband if he refuses to provide. The reason why women obey is because the husband is the leader as he looks after the home. That is where obedience stems from.
I know that men and women aren't the same. Anyways that's not the rule islamically you can technically withhold for example if a guy has multiple incomes and he only tells his wife about one and provides from that one source of income there would islamically be nothing wrong with that from a providing standpoint aslong as he can uphold what she's used to and rich guys already do that when they with hold info like this when they marry poorer women. I don't have an issue with the money it's the hiding and trust that is the problem aswell as non traditional people picking and choicing when and how they want to be trad when it suitable for them. If an individual is already in a 50/50 relationship then that women is not being provided for in the first place.
It's team work tho you can't do anything together if one is out of the loop. That's gen wealth on your own. I'm not really talking about the husband getting any money I'm only arguing that he needs to be aware of it.
No I'm just using the logic non traditional people already use. If you have choosen to contribute and split stuff then you can't exactly hide this sort of information and since there non traditional using Islamic arguments are basically out of the window because if he gets that sort of raise it leads to her being able to slack off and visversa. They both owe each other in that context.
whatever happens happens you can't predict the future so no point going through it selfishly and making everything about yourself. Relationships are about being partners its not a solo affair. If you can't trust a man don't get married or marry someone in your socio-economic bracket if that's what you would consider safer.
nope, your wrong, you can't always use these excuses, she thought he was a normal man, she probs didn't vet him hard enough, just another women marrying a man thinking everything will be normal, and bam she got money and his true character came out.
if your not going 50/50 are you ok with your husband not wanting you to work?She shouldn't say a word about it forever, stop going 50/50, and make him sign a prenup
