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Fiancé Asks Reddit If She Should Reveal How Much Money She Makes to Her Future Husband

Simply don’t marry him if you aren’t willing to be honest.
Can you imagine how he’d feel if he were to find out about it from a third party. If she’s so concerned about being taken advantage of, she should marry within her economic class.
 
she has 7 figures saved up and has property’s rented out. on top of that london rent plus utilities runs 2500-3000 a month groceries and bills would be 1000-1500 a month

She should disclose it because if they’re together for the long run and to have children and family shouldn’t she negotiate how much they’d like to save together for a home and child trust? or is she gonna expect him to pay the mortgage as they agreed on this arrangement without him knowing the full details ?
7 figures?

how did she save up 7 figures? family business or entirely inheritance.
 
they’ve already agreed on an arangement however she feels like she should continue to hide her massive inheritnece and other streams of income after the nikkah
Depends on what kind of relationship there in.

If they are in a 50/50 or both financially contribute etc then she should.

If it's more traditional then it's not really necessary.

Actually she should regardless. husbands and wives do inherit from each other afterall. overall transparency is better for your relationship otherwise it could cause distrust and ruin the whole thing.
 
She shouldn't say shit!

People can change their tune 180, the moment they realise you have large amount in savings. Neither the husband or wife is entitled to know. I have some investments (in 6 figs alx) I don't intend to tell my finacee absolutely nothing.
 

AbwaanCali

Hot like shaax, cool like jalaato
Why marry someone you don't trust with such basic information? If he finds out he will wonder what else she is hiding.
 
Depends on what kind of relationship there in.

If they are in a 50/50 or both financially contribute etc then she should.

If it's more traditional then it's not really necessary.

Actually she should regardless. husbands and wives do inherit from each other afterall. overall transparency is better for your relationship otherwise it could cause distrust and ruin the whole thing.
If she’s already chipping in, then I don’t see why she should even more than if it was a traditional relationship. She’s already giving him money anyways. That’s not her job at all.
 
She shouldn't say shit!

People can change their tune 180, the moment they realise you have large amount in savings. Neither the husband or wife is entitled to know. I have some investments (in 6 figs alx) I don't intend to tell my finacee absolutely nothing.
Don’t get married if that’s how you intend on moving.
It’s not even about him having access to it, it’s about simply knowing. Who knows what pressures he puts on himself to provide for his future family. Simply knowing things are alright would give him breathing room to say for example position himself for better opportunities. Instead of him doing xamaali work that brings him nowhere he can focus on studying a specific field that accessible to him. Obviously that would be done on his own dime.
Anyway like I said she should stay within her own economic class.
 
If she’s already chipping in, then I don’t see why she should even more than if it was a traditional relationship. She’s already giving him money anyways. That’s not her job at all.
There are guys who hide the capacity of there finances so less is demanded of them are you saying that's ok since at the end of the day they are still providing or chipping in?

It's all wrong at the end of the day because if it's not disclosed those who know like her family if she where to die would wrongfully take the husbands share of that wealth in inheritance so she would have technically caused problems in that sort of scenario because of her distrust.

People like this men and women are just selfish and individualistic. You where talking about building generational wealth together and all that other stuff yet you support finances being withheld and keeping secrets 🤨

Personally for myself I don't care about the money it's the secret keeping I have an issue with and finding out later on would cause issues because why is there selfish distrust in the relationship :childplease:

She should instead marry someone she can trust. There not even married yet
 
Personally for myself I don't care about the money it's the secret keeping I have an issue with and finding out later on would cause issues because why is there selfish distrust in the relationship :childplease:

She should instead marry someone she can trust. There not even married yet
This 100%, and she’s not even married with him, she could avoid all of this potential future heartaches and headaches.
 
Don’t get married if that’s how you intend on moving.
It’s not even about him having access to it, it’s about simply knowing. Who knows what pressures he puts on himself to provide for his future family. Simply knowing things are alright would give him breathing room to say for example position himself for better opportunities. Instead of him doing xamaali work that brings him nowhere he can focus on studying a specific field that accessible to him. Obviously that would be done on his own dime.
Anyway like I said she should stay within her own economic class.

I just realised the mistake in my post. You should disclose it when you're married, but prior to marriage no! What's the point giving up that info prior to marriage. You can gauge your SO commitment after your married before telling them.
 
Imagine slaving away being a "provider" when your wife is 10x more financially independent than you (i.e essentially leaving you with zero authority/importance) and not even seeing a cent of that money that can easily lead to retirement. :westbrookwtf:
100% would divorce
 
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There are guys who hide the capacity of there finances so less is demanded of them are you saying that's ok since at the end of the day they are still providing or chipping in?
Men and women aren’t the same. It’s different for a man as he has to provide a woman based on what he can afford. Why would you then use the same rulings for women when women are the ones that need to be provided for? One gender has to provide based on what he can provide and one gender doesn’t have to provide a penny. Not the same are they?

As for generational wealth, the best way to get that is by investing and buying property. I don’t see why the husband needs to get his piece of the pie unless the wife is kind enough to share but even then the kids will get the lions inheritance and they’d get more if the wife invests her money
It's all wrong at the end of the day because if it's not disclosed those who know like her family if she where to die would wrongfully take the husbands share of that wealth in inheritance so she would have technically caused problems in that sort of scenario because of her distrust.
In that situation I agree with you. Husband also inherits.
People like this men and women are just selfish and individualistic. You where talking about building generational wealth together and all that other stuff yet you support finances being withheld and keeping secrets 🤨
I’m suspicious of men who seem to think they have a right over women’s money and in this day and age I can see why I women would want to hide it. Look at the replies, the men here seem to think that the wife’s money means they can slack off and get their piece of the pie. Look at your first part of the paragraph? You think that a woman has to contribute just as much it seems

Personally for myself I don't care about the money it's the secret keeping I have an issue with and finding out later on would cause issues because why is there selfish distrust in the relationship :childplease:
Okay, in that regards I agree. I think she should tell him about the house and that she does have money stashed away. It will cause shock later on if he finds out she’s a secret millionaire.
She should instead marry someone she can trust. There not even married yet
You can’t predict how people will react. If you’re using the trust argument, then why are pre-nups okay? Does the person making their partner sign a prenup believe they’ll take half of their money?
 
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AbrahamFreedom

🇨🇦🇷🇺 retired
Staff Member

The other thing is someone making only $25K in her teaching career (clearly couldn't make it as a public school teacher with its already low standards for its teachers) wouldnt have any caqli in the first place. Hurtful but true. You can't expect her to understand the importance of generational wealth and lifting up the family unit. It's clear she will spend the money on Starbucks or materialism that satisfies her. She had no plan to put it as a home downpayment.
 
Allah works in mysterious ways. That man out here working hard looking for money everyday but he doesn't the bag is closer than he thinks. When that divorce is going to happen it's going to be payday.

Make It Rain Money GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants
Super League Money GIF by Anderson .Paak
 
The other thing is someone making only $25K in her teaching career (clearly couldn't make it as a public school teacher with its already low standards for its teachers) wouldnt have any caqli in the first place. Hurtful but true. You can't expect her to understand the importance of generational wealth and lifting up the family unit. It's clear she will spend the money on Starbucks or materialism that satisfies her. She had no plan to put it as a home downpayment.
:francis:
 
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