Fellas who comes first, your mother or wife?

[Gibiin-Udug]

lol ur daughter is ur flesh and blood, but ur mom way kugu soo tacabtay. she been through some shit just so u could even be in the position to have a daughter

i wish my daughter would start acting up to her grandma

Mashallah!!!!!

 

[Lone Wanderer]

Well, it depends on your relationship with your mothers. I have friends with terrible relationships, and these same friends are very kind, smart people. The parents sometimes neglect them, abuse them for no reason, etc. Just because they're your parents, doesn't mean you have to choose them before anyone else. Like I said before, it depends on the relationship between the two people.

 

[dhegdheer]

Well, it depends on your relationship with your mothers. I have friends with terrible relationships, and these same friends are very kind, smart people. The parents sometimes neglect them, abuse them for no reason, etc. Just because they're your parents, doesn't mean you have to choose them before anyone else. Like I said before, it depends on the relationship between the two people.

This is so true. People often forget that parents are humans as well. Even the worst humans on earth can have children, the idea of unconditional respect to your parents can be flawed at times. No one should have to respect ppl who hurt them

 

[AbuScrap]

Why should there be an order? Do what's right in every scenario and that's it. But if my mother and wife were both drowning and I could only save one I'd save my mother without a doubt.

This.

 

[Ferrari]

Scenario 1, I'd tell mom to chill out and as much as I love her, I would not turn a blind eye to her abusing my wife or anyone else for that matter.
scenario 2, wife is getting a warning if it is her first time, and a straight divorce if she disrespects my mom. This is assuming wife is blatantly at fault.

 

[Dangopopcorn]

I don't care about pleasing men. I am just stating what I read from the hadith and quran. What I personally would do is a different story.

Doesn't Allah say in the quran to worship him and exactly after that to treat them good. There's nothing tied like that in the quran with Allah I believe.
And as a woman you don't need to provide for either your parents or your husband but if it becomes really hard on your parents you have to but not if your husband happens to become a bum.
So how is that having to be more obedient to your husband than parents.

And as far as I know you only have to be obedient in certain matters to your husband like leaving the house/traveling/satisfying him/letting people in the house
But it's different with your parents

So how does a husband come first?

 

[agnes]

Doesn't Allah say in the quran to worship him and exactly after that to treat them good. There's nothing tied like that in the quran with Allah I believe.
And as a woman you don't need to provide for either your parents or your husband but if it becomes really hard on your parents you have to but not if your husband happens to become a bum.
So how is that having to be more obedient to your husband than parents.

And as far as I know you only have to be obedient in certain matters to your husband like leaving the house/traveling/satisfying him/letting people in the house
But it's different with your parents

So how does a husband come first?

I was talking about obedience and the rights. Here are some hadith

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes."

Al-Mundhiri classed the isnaad of this hadeeth as jayyid in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, no. 1933.

If there is a conflict between obedience to one’s husband and obedience to one’s parents, then obedience to one’s husband takes priority. Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said concerning a woman who has a husband and a sick mother: Obeying her husband is more obligatory upon her than (taking care of) her mother, unless he gives her permission. (Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat, 3/47).

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.

 

[Bahal]

Mother always

 

[merka]

Obviously my mother. You only get one, while you can always get another wife.

 

[Dangopopcorn]

I was talking about obedience and the rights. Here are some hadith

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes."

Al-Mundhiri classed the isnaad of this hadeeth as jayyid in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, no. 1933.

If there is a conflict between obedience to one’s husband and obedience to one’s parents, then obedience to one’s husband takes priority. Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said concerning a woman who has a husband and a sick mother: Obeying her husband is more obligatory upon her than (taking care of) her mother, unless he gives her permission. (Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat, 3/47).

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.

There are a lot if ahadith stressing being dutiful to both your parents and your husband.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.505 Narrated by Abdullah

I asked the Prophet (saws): "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He (saws) replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause."'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet (saws) would have told me more.


It's easy to just copy paste articles from islsmqa and as I said there are a lot of ahadith.
What I don't understand is how a husband comes first.
Say your parents got sick but your husband doesn't let you see them. Isn't that sinful in itself?
I thought you weren't supposed to obey anyone when it comes to haram. .
Rather than the husband coming first I think it's just different rights you've got to fulfil

 

[Zeus]

My cock comes before my deen

 

[AbuScrap]

My Hooyo doesn't give me madax why we discussing this

 

[madamelioness]

.

It's easy to just copy paste articles from islsmqa and as I said there are a lot of ahadith.
What I don't understand is how a husband comes first.
Say your parents got sick but your husband doesn't let you see them. Isn't that sinful in itself?
I thought you weren't supposed to obey anyone when it comes to haram. .
Rather than the husband coming first I think it's just different rights you've got to fulfil

In Islam, before marriage a woman is under the guardianship of her father and upon marriage that guardianship is transferred to the husband with the blessings of her father and her consent.

Our parents have a right over us whether married or single. We have to be dutiful towards them. If the husband prevents his wife from visiting her parents that's sinful and he transgressing against her rights. We have a duty to uphold family ties and by preventing her from visiting her parents he is causing her emotional and mental distress. It is sinful to harm another Muslim, especially your spouse. What type of man prevents his wife from visiting her sick mother? He must be xoolo.

 

[Kanye]

I can't imagine hoyo being nasty to my hypothetical wife. But even so, in an understandable scenario where they both expect different things, I'll pick hoyo every single time. And vice versa, if it isn't something really serious and her mother is 100% categorically wrong I'd take the L and not get in between her and her mother.

 

[agnes]

There are a lot if ahadith stressing being dutiful to both your parents and your husband.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.505 Narrated by Abdullah

I asked the Prophet (saws): "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He (saws) replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause."'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet (saws) would have told me more.


It's easy to just copy paste articles from islsmqa and as I said there are a lot of ahadith.
What I don't understand is how a husband comes first.
Say your parents got sick but your husband doesn't let you see them. Isn't that sinful in itself?
I thought you weren't supposed to obey anyone when it comes to haram. .
Rather than the husband coming first I think it's just different rights you've got to fulfil

What do you mean 'pasting hadith is easy' when you quoted me and started the conversation? You also pasted a bunch of hadith yourself which I already agree with.

I am not here to debate.

I know the high status of parents and that that they are next to Allah in respect and obedience.

When you are unmarried you only need your parents duas. When you get married you need the husbands duas too. I only learned this recently and I shared it you all.

 

[Hatredfree]

Hoyo always, she betta let my mom win regardless, or she's out.

 

[VixR]

My auntie in law is so sweet, I couldn't imagine having evil in laws ngl. I'd start to wonder about the guy i was marrying and his upbringing

Mine too. And my mom is the sweetest thing in the world, she hasn't been anything but nice. I didn't understand it was even a thing until I started having some evil MIL stories come my way. There was one lady that pushed her daughter in law down a flight of stairs kkkkk if u saw the little lady u would be shocked that she's capable of that but she was a tyrant, and the girl was a miskiin that let it get too far. It didn't last. Some of these so-called mothers are acting like the caricature of a first wife, not like the son's mother. It's the strangest thing in the world. I've heard some girls go so far as to say they wish they meet a guy who's mother lives in a different country, or is dead to avoid those types of in laws from hell.

 

[dhegdheer]

Mine too. And my mom is the sweetest thing in the world, she hasn't been anything but nice. I didn't understand it was even a thing until I started having some evil MIL stories come my way. There was one lady that pushed her daughter in law down a flight of stairs kkkkk if u saw the little lady u would be shocked that she's capable of that, and the girl was a miskiin. Some of these so-called mothers are acting like the caricature of a first wife, not like the son's mother. It's the strangest thing in the world. I've heard some girls go so far as to say they wish they meet a guy who's mother lives in a different country, or is dead to avoid those types of in laws from hell.

Pushed her down the... stairs bismillah lmaooo I couldn't imagine any eedo being that evil. This is the type of stuff I'd expect from movies, damn.

Apparently evil mother in laws are a cause of concern for asians, at least according to my timo jilic friends. Because the wife often have to go live with the in laws and treat them with the utmost respect lol I could imagine that would lead to tension real quick. Some old asian aunties are so harsh for no reason I had to deal with them a lot at my old place of work and the way they'd scold me like a child for the smallest thing was too much. Imagine having to deal with that day in and day out in your own house

Damn but a hostile mother in law would actually make me reconsider the entire relationship, especially if I'm expected to keep in touch and hang around them a lot. I don't like dealing with unpleasant ppl

 

[VixR]

Pushed her down the... stairs bismillah lmaooo I couldn't imagine any eedo being that evil. This is the type of stuff I'd expect from movies, damn.

Apparently evil mother in laws are a cause of concern for asians, at least according to my timo jilic friends. Because the wife often have to go live with the in laws and treat them with the utmost respect lol I could imagine that would lead to tension real quick. Some old asian aunties are so harsh for no reason I had to deal with them a lot at my old place of work and the way they'd scold me like a child for the smallest thing was too much. Imagine having to deal with that day in and day out in your own house

Damn but a hostile mother in law would actually make me reconsider the entire relationship, especially if I'm expected to keep in touch and hang around them a lot. I don't like dealing with unpleasant ppl

Yeah, good thing it at least doesn't seem to be commonplace with Somalis. Those Asian ones sound like the worst! That whole thing where they live with the mother is just off to begin with. How r u supposed to breathe. Lmfao @ them scolding coworkers

 

[Gambar]

Mine too. And my mom is the sweetest thing in the world, she hasn't been anything but nice. I didn't understand it was even a thing until I started having some evil MIL stories come my way. There was one lady that pushed her daughter in law down a flight of stairs kkkkk if u saw the little lady u would be shocked that she's capable of that but she was a tyrant, and the girl was a miskiin that let it get too far. It didn't last. Some of these so-called mothers are acting like the caricature of a first wife, not like the son's mother. It's the strangest thing in the world. I've heard some girls go so far as to say they wish they meet a guy who's mother lives in a different country, or is dead to avoid those types of in laws from hell.

I heard a story where the same thing happened except the girl got her revenge by putting poison in suugo/maraq. Where's her mother to let her mother in law know to stay in her place? Inalilahi.