Fellas Is she worth the mehr? The basic requirements xalimos should meet

[Gooney112]

He isn't buying her. He gave her a gift.

Usually the word 'ripped' off is used when indicating something isn't worth the price.

Plus, some men can afford to give expensive gifts some can't.

he couldnt...he was a student and the family paid. Thats what she requested and he agreed. We thought he shouldnt have agreed. Mehr has become a bragging thing for somali women, so they [ut a price on themselves

 

[HalimaJ]

he couldnt...he was a student and the family paid. Thats what she requested and he agreed. We thought he shouldnt have agreed. Mehr has become a bragging thing for somali women, so they [ut a price on themselves

I'm against women asking for high mehr when the man clearly can't afford it.

Its a gift, and someone should gift someone what is within their means, instead of forcing their family to fork out.

 

[madaxweyne]

If a man was not supporting his kids whilst married to the mother of his kids, what makes you think he will start working after divorce?

A man allergic to work during marriage, will be even worse after divorce. Plus its the right of the children to be provided for.

A lot of Somalis pretend to be single in order to get more benefits. Single or divorced, they are still on benefits.

Somali women are not known to put men on child support. They think cayd is their saviour.

New generation of Somali women will be different though. Its time fathers are held accountable.

You are completely wrong women need to be held acountable for divorcing Thier husbands so they can earn more in benefits and , Somali women are a disgrace and a poison on the family they put themselves ahead of their children and the husband just for thir own benefit

First things first the idea that Somali men arnt working is false is just that they didn't have good jobs and cayd payed more and yet these women chased money instead of family

 

[Gooney112]

I'm against women asking for high mehr when the man clearly can't afford it.

Its a gift, and someone should gift someone what is within their means, instead of forcing their family to fork out.

same here. sure if you are a millionaire gift 100k if you want. But people should be reasonable. If you agreed to marry someone its because you have understood each other what you want in life and want to build something together. Make it easier for your partner. Also too many people put on huge weddings when they cant really afford and start the marriage with huge debts which straight away cause stress. But its always the guy who goes in debt to satisfy the girls ego and he is stuck with the debt

 

[Jake from State Farm]

No, I've done a 180 on mehr stance. Not partaking in mehr at at all unless exceptional circumstances call for it.

A simple gift to make it halal is as far as I'm going.

Intersting. What made you do a 180

 

[HalimaJ]

You are completely wrong women need to be held acountable for divorcing Thier husbands so they can earn more in benefits and , Somali women are a disgrace and a poison on the family they put themselves ahead of their children and the husband just for thir own benefit

First things first the idea that Somali men arnt working is false is just that they didn't have good jobs and cayd payed more and yet these women chased money instead of family

I have to break a lot of things down for you:

1. Women are not divorcing their husbands to get cayd. The goverment is providing for married couples as well unknowingly, therefore in order to get benefits one does not need to divorce their husbands. Its actually better to pretend but stay married as they get more money. They combine husband's benefit with wife's= more money.

2. The role of the mother is to nurture, the role of the father is to provide. Many Somali men are failing in that department.

3. Why would Somali women apply for benefits if their husbands provided? Every Somali family I know on benefits, the father does not work or tells his wife to pretend to be single so he does not have to pay rent.

4. Benefits, benefits the father as it allows him to shirk his responsibility. Islamically its not the responsibility of the mother to provide. She is the one that nurtures her kids and Somali women do that.

5. How does a Somali woman benefit? She is left to care for 6 kids or more. Do you think looking after kids without a husband providing and helping easy? Think about your own mother.

5. I grew up on my fathers hard work. We never took cayd. Why? Because my mother had a husband that provided and took pride in his dedication to his family. He was vehemently against cheating the system.

5. Its insane that the fault would be the parent (the mother) that is actually there for their kids and raises them. Somali women do not abandon their kids.

 

[Kodeen]

Intersting. What made you do a 180

Honestly, if a girl wants to marry you, she should. I have no interest in purchasing a wife.