You shouldve been straight up and said either me or her. And ask for divorce and let him marry her, its clear he loves her and you should find someone better. Its better to be straight up then lie, honesty is the best policy.
Farah tells Fiancee he’s sponsoring his cousin as his “wife”
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No its either or, what girl gonna pay for her own wedding lol.
Yeah it depends on the person. If she is unsure of his character she should move on. But if he is genuine in helping a family member. Then I see no issue
My marriage was arranged to him, and being pregnant with him while he said this… I knew it wasn’t going to work , ( among other things ) but my family yelled at me to not let it bother me. I was a pushover back then and more younger and allowed everyone to tell me that it would be selfish of me to divorce just cause of what he said.
They also told me to let him sponsor her, so he can help her escape her situation with her husband.
He kept insisting it was cause of her being his best friend, but eventually admitted he wanted to have multiple wives. He didn’t even have a job ( still doesn’t ) and wasn’t even in the country with me to make it make sense.
And as a woman, once your husband expresses wanting to be with someone else and have multiple women… you don’t say me or her. Let him be with those women. Keep me out of it. Nope, nope, nope.
His “cousin” that he needs to sponsor is A LOT. You can’t petition anyone that isn’t your spouse or sibling. He would’ve said if he was sponsoring her as a fake sibling but even then sometimes they require blood tests or proof. He will do it as a spouse.
You don’t think that’s sus? They are gonna be legally married
I wish a nigga would try that on me.
I am coming to Minneapolis and amma a find you. We'll see where that leads!
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It is haram. You can find various fatwas that say this. Plus you're lying. What makes lying halal?
Here is one thing that women should do when they get married: Legalize the marriage. If they do that, their husbands can't file sponsorship for other women.
Second, if the marriage was legalized through the Western courts and he dies, his legalized wife would be eligible for his pensions and estate. However, a wife whose marriage wasn't legalized, she is not entitled to any of those.
In the case that the guy left behind a living will where he listed his wife who was not legalized through the courts, she would only be getting the estate provided there are no underage children from other woman and the woman whom he sponsored isn't in the country.
Folks, to avoid these problems, tell the truth and legalized your marriages through the courts of the countries you live in. We need to fear Allah (swt) and worry about our hereafter. Lying is haram.
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Excellent points were made Wallahi, i can’t express that enough. Very smart advice but however, my spouse was overseas in Africa talking like this. He wasn’t even living with me in the west and already making these plans. But mention that to people about legalizing marriage, and they’ll say how they don’t need to prove their marriage to the gaalo.
Process is long he would be going back and forth. I want a husband that’s with me not abroad
i think most Somali men will refuse to marry you if you require them to claim you as a wife through the government. A lot woman ignore or that reason.
Lol, was he a bit slow. How is he talking this way when he is still in Africa. Did he not realise that you had the power to not sponsor his ass and he'll be stuck there with his 'bestfriend'.
I'm generally speaking about the spectrum in which one could be involved in a marriage of convenience and my point is that you should adhere to the law of the land especially in matters that don't oppress you in your religious practice.
It happened in the US where after the man deceased, his wife couldn't claim the pension and his estate (inheritance). That is because their marriage wasn't legal. Luckily, he had underage kids, and the govt allowed them to be beneficiaries of the pension. However, because he didn't leave behind a will, inheritance tax hit them hard and whatever money that he left behind was taxed 50%.
I brought those points up because none of us know when we're going to die. Therefore, marriages must be documented and legalized through the courts. Fraudulently sponsoring someone put those benefits that family may need a critical times at risk.
Lastly, instead of filing sponsoring relatives, you can work your butt off and send them between $3000 - $5000 USD, and they can start a good business in Africa. It doesn't always need to come to the West to make a living.
Remember when Somalis wanted everyone to succeed in life? Nowadays we have people who won’t even bring their relatives over as if this country belongs to them.
Oh my goodness, right ? Loooool , everyone made that exact comment about why did he expose himself? He should have kept that to himself and be smart and wait till he got to the west? Lol. The best friend left with the husband she was miserable with.
Count your blessings, that ex just sounds dumb and slow. You can't take a man like that seriously. You should have requested for a divorce there and then as soon as he opened that slow mouth of his.
Sometimes I feel as though we're a group that thinks short time. Also, i've hardly heard stories like this as the older gen mostly keep their assets back home and you fair Sharia inheritance laws. However, since we're going to hear more and more stories like this if we don't wise up as now Somalis are starting to buy property and leave behind significant wealth.
Abdisamad
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mrlog
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I don't mind if they pay me 25K.. Money in the bank
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