Farah tells Fiancee he’s sponsoring his cousin as his “wife”

[TekNiKo]

Probably ? He flat out told me he loved her and that was his best friend and that he wanted her to come and live with us.
He at first said it was his best friend… who was MARRIED herself, and how much she hates her husband… and he would tell me he wanted to help her escape him and how she can live with us…

But then the more he asked about it. I asked him if she was more than a best friend and he said that this was a woman he loved and that she’s such a good friend, he wants to help her.

When my abo asked him about it, he admitted he wanted to marry her when she came.

He clearly didn’t know about the consequences of coming here, being sponsored by me and then try to bring someone himself and the financial responsibilities that come with it.

Mind you he was in Africa during this time, asking me about it.

You shouldve been straight up and said either me or her. And ask for divorce and let him marry her, its clear he loves her and you should find someone better. Its better to be straight up then lie, honesty is the best policy.

 

[TekNiKo]

Is it possible to get paid and also marry the girl in the process?

No its either or, what girl gonna pay for her own wedding lol.

 

[Jaydaan]

Jaydaan sir, we know there are plenty of people in our community who do this for good reasons and sponsor people so they can come and work and send money to support their

But theare people, who will say it’s their “cousin” they wanna bring over and it turns out to be a another wife or one they plan to be with.

I’ve seen it happen a lot of times.
She should ask more questions and do her best to trust him, but if he shows signs that he is planning something different with this cousin… she knows what to do.

Yeah it depends on the person. If she is unsure of his character she should move on. But if he is genuine in helping a family member. Then I see no issue

 

[Man with a garuun]

I did it with my male cousin. But it was only a fiance visa

He moved to Australia for job opportunities and he is aqoon so he has to support his mother and his siblings

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[Peache]

You shouldve been straight up and said either me or her. And ask for divorce and let him marry her, its clear he loves her and you should find someone better. Its better to be straight up then lie, honesty is the best policy.

My marriage was arranged to him, and being pregnant with him while he said this… I knew it wasn’t going to work , ( among other things ) but my family yelled at me to not let it bother me. I was a pushover back then and more younger and allowed everyone to tell me that it would be selfish of me to divorce just cause of what he said.

They also told me to let him sponsor her, so he can help her escape her situation with her husband.
He kept insisting it was cause of her being his best friend, but eventually admitted he wanted to have multiple wives. He didn’t even have a job ( still doesn’t ) and wasn’t even in the country with me to make it make sense.

And as a woman, once your husband expresses wanting to be with someone else and have multiple women… you don’t say me or her. Let him be with those women. Keep me out of it. Nope, nope, nope.

 

[Man with a garuun]

His “cousin” that he needs to sponsor is A LOT. You can’t petition anyone that isn’t your spouse or sibling. He would’ve said if he was sponsoring her as a fake sibling but even then sometimes they require blood tests or proof. He will do it as a spouse.

You don’t think that’s sus? They are gonna be legally married

I wish a nigga would try that on me.

I am coming to Minneapolis and amma a find you. We'll see where that leads!

 

[Angelina]

Hows it haram when the legality of marriage in regards to secular Western governments dont even solidify an Islamic marriage?

You do realise if hes married/marrying her and leaving first wife wouldnt he have to pay for her sponsership? He also has to be economically responsible for her for 3 years.

Its a big taking on so he probably is cheating lol.

It is haram. You can find various fatwas that say this. Plus you're lying. What makes lying halal?

 

[Man with a garuun]

Jaydaan sir, we know there are plenty of people in our community who do this for good reasons and sponsor people so they can come and work and send money to support their

But theare people, who will say it’s their “cousin” they wanna bring over and it turns out to be a another wife or one they plan to be with.

I’ve seen it happen a lot of times.
She should ask more questions and do her best to trust him, but if he shows signs that he is planning something different with this cousin… she knows what to do.

Here is one thing that women should do when they get married: Legalize the marriage. If they do that, their husbands can't file sponsorship for other women.

Second, if the marriage was legalized through the Western courts and he dies, his legalized wife would be eligible for his pensions and estate. However, a wife whose marriage wasn't legalized, she is not entitled to any of those.

In the case that the guy left behind a living will where he listed his wife who was not legalized through the courts, she would only be getting the estate provided there are no underage children from other woman and the woman whom he sponsored isn't in the country.

Folks, to avoid these problems, tell the truth and legalized your marriages through the courts of the countries you live in. We need to fear Allah (swt) and worry about our hereafter. Lying is haram.

 

[Peache]

Here is one thing that women should do when they get married: Legalize the marriage. If they do that, their husbands can't file sponsorship for other women.

Second, if the marriage was legalized through the Western courts and he dies, his legalized wife would be eligible for his pensions and estate. However, a wife whose marriage wasn't legalized, she is not entitled to any of those.

In the case that the guy left behind a living will where he listed his wife who was not legalized through the courts, she would only be getting the estate provided there are no underage children from other woman and the woman whom he sponsored isn't in the country.

Folks, to avoid these problems, tell the truth and legalized your marriages through the courts of the countries you live in. We need to fear Allah (swt) and worry about our hereafter. Lying is haram.

Excellent points were made Wallahi, i can’t express that enough. Very smart advice but however, my spouse was overseas in Africa talking like this. He wasn’t even living with me in the west and already making these plans. But mention that to people about legalizing marriage, and they’ll say how they don’t need to prove their marriage to the gaalo.

 

[Ladylike]

Smart, just walk away. I was pregnant while asked this… and he told me straight up he wanted to make her another wife.

Some of us are given signs and it may be shocking, but it can be a life saver in the end.

Process is long he would be going back and forth. I want a husband that’s with me not abroad

Excellent points were made Wallahi, i can’t express that enough. However my spouse was overseas in Africa talking like this. He wasn’t even living with me in the west and already making these plans. But mention that to people about legalizing marriage, and they’ll say how they don’t need to prove their marriage to the gaalo.

i think most Somali men will refuse to marry you if you require them to claim you as a wife through the government. A lot woman ignore or that reason.

 

[Angelina]

Excellent points were made Wallahi, i can’t express that enough. Very smart advice but however, my spouse was overseas in Africa talking like this. He wasn’t even living with me in the west and already making these plans. But mention that to people about legalizing marriage, and they’ll say how they don’t need to prove their marriage to the gaalo.

Lol, was he a bit slow. How is he talking this way when he is still in Africa. Did he not realise that you had the power to not sponsor his ass and he'll be stuck there with his 'bestfriend'.

 

[Wiilyam Ina Sheekh Zubeer]

She is not complicit in it though. Has nothing to do with her and unless she or the wife report it the government will never know. It’s common thing and not a big deal. Both me and my sister has sponsored people

I'm generally speaking about the spectrum in which one could be involved in a marriage of convenience and my point is that you should adhere to the law of the land especially in matters that don't oppress you in your religious practice.

 

[Magan95]

 

[Man with a garuun]

Excellent points were made Wallahi, i can’t express that enough. Very smart advice but however, my spouse was overseas in Africa talking like this. He wasn’t even living with me in the west and already making these plans. But mention that to people about legalizing marriage, and they’ll say how they don’t need to prove their marriage to the gaalo.

It happened in the US where after the man deceased, his wife couldn't claim the pension and his estate (inheritance). That is because their marriage wasn't legal. Luckily, he had underage kids, and the govt allowed them to be beneficiaries of the pension. However, because he didn't leave behind a will, inheritance tax hit them hard and whatever money that he left behind was taxed 50%.

I brought those points up because none of us know when we're going to die. Therefore, marriages must be documented and legalized through the courts. Fraudulently sponsoring someone put those benefits that family may need a critical times at risk.

Lastly, instead of filing sponsoring relatives, you can work your butt off and send them between $3000 - $5000 USD, and they can start a good business in Africa. It doesn't always need to come to the West to make a living.

 

[Malik_N_Tea]

Remember when Somalis wanted everyone to succeed in life? Nowadays we have people who won’t even bring their relatives over as if this country belongs to them.

 

[Peache]

Lol, was he a bit slow. How is he talking this way when he is still in Africa. Did he not realise that you had the power to not sponsor his ass and he'll be stuck there with his 'bestfriend'.

Oh my goodness, right ? Loooool , everyone made that exact comment about why did he expose himself? He should have kept that to himself and be smart and wait till he got to the west? Lol. The best friend left with the husband she was miserable with.

 

[Angelina]

Oh my goodness, right ? Loooool , everyone made that exact comment about why did he expose himself? He should have kept that to himself and be smart and wait till he got to the west? Lol. The best friend left with the husband she was miserable with.

Count your blessings, that ex just sounds dumb and slow. You can't take a man like that seriously. You should have requested for a divorce there and then as soon as he opened that slow mouth of his.

 

[Angelina]

It happened in the US where after the man deceased, his wife couldn't claim the pension and his estate (inheritance). That is because their marriage wasn't legal. Luckily, he had underage kids, and the govt allowed them to be beneficiaries of the pension. However, because he didn't leave behind a will, inheritance tax hit them hard and whatever money that he left behind was taxed 50%.

I brought those points up because none of us know when we're going to die. Therefore, marriages must be documented and legalized through the courts. Fraudulently sponsoring someone put those benefits that family may need a critical times at risk.

Lastly, instead of filing sponsoring relatives, you can work your butt off and send them between $3000 - $5000 USD, and they can start a good business in Africa. It doesn't always need to come to the West to make a living.

Sometimes I feel as though we're a group that thinks short time. Also, i've hardly heard stories like this as the older gen mostly keep their assets back home and you fair Sharia inheritance laws. However, since we're going to hear more and more stories like this if we don't wise up as now Somalis are starting to buy property and leave behind significant wealth.

 

[Abdisamad]

Some people offer to pay someone to do it. From what someone here has said, they’ll offer 15-25 grand at times. I’ve even been offered money like that, but I’ve always said no.

I don't mind if they pay me 25K.. Money in the bank

 

[mrlog]

I don't mind if they pay me 25K.. Money in the bank

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