Faarahs vs Xalimos marriage debate

[Shams nagi]

here we got with we iz qwayn nonesense.
why do you think they deserve all that? They bring a vagina to the table? well the guy brings the penis too and last time I checked, a vagina is useless if it ain't kept company by a penis right? why do they deserve all that? With the way yall talk, it's like the guy wants the marriage more than the woman, and if that's the case, yall should stay in ur mom's house.

The mother of your future children * making a house a home. Raising your children, it's way more than the superficial things you just stated.

 

[YoungFarah]

Your always talking about what you're getting but what are you providing? Why should you be invested?

 

[Shams nagi]

@XXX

 

[Inquisitive_]

I sometimes ponder who is more stupid, the beta cuck that goes ahead and pays this or that spinster approaching dumb xaalimo that asks for this.

What those dumb Xaalimo don't see is the double edged sword here, the marriage first and foremost lacks barakah because of the needless extravagance coming against the hadith regarding the marriage with the most barakah being the one with the least expenses.

To top this all off, only the lowest of the low types of dumb males with no backbone would accept these kinds of terms, no surprises these types of males never stick around long anyway and these types of sham marriages end in quick divorce.

Every dude I have ever encountered (100's) willing to partake in this sham not only lacked intelligence but were hardcore beta males with not much experience in life, you could only imagine the kinds of filth that will be spawned or nurtured by them.

 

[YoungFarah]

@XXX

What up?

 

[Ferrari]

The mother of your future children * making a house a home. Raising your children, it's way more than the superficial things you just stated.

I am also the father of her future children. I am not her enemy. she shouldn't see marriage as an opportunity to drain the man she expects to provide and raise her kids. xalimo logic=xoolo logic.

 

[NotMyL]

Your always talking about what you're getting but what are you providing? Why should you be invested?

Walal reread my posts, I didn't say I wanted anything from him. I'm just keeping my income to myself, and since he's the man who took on a responsibility he can't do the same, he has to spend that money on the household. Now are you saying you have something against that?

We have men here who are saying why should I spend my hard earned money on mehr and her family, well why should I spend my hard earned money on the household when my deen says I don't have and he's the one responsible for it.

 

[Lostbox]

Walal reread my posts, I didn't say I wanted anything from him. I'm just keeping my income to myself, and since he's the man who took on a responsibility he can't do the same, he has to spend that money on the household. Now are you saying you have something against that?

We have men here who are saying why should I spend my hard earned money on mehr and her family, well why should I spend my hard earned money on the household when my deen says I don't have and he's the one responsible for it.

If he the only income spend on the household doesn't sound reasonable at all but I ask what are you providing or what benefits does he get investing in you?

 

[Hybrid]

Ive never heard of this mehr politics irl either, only online. Out of all the marriages I know of its never been a problem.

yep. somali american are more assimilated into society than somalis in europe. those somali diasporas talking about mehr I seen on youtube were british somalis. according to some sources somalis in europe are on the bottom line of the social ladder and are doing far much worse than other refugees.

 

[Lalune]

The mehr should be reasonable so that the guy can actually pay it at some point. It should be dealt with on a case by case basis.
If you want a 50k mehr, then don't marry Abdi from the block. Marry Muktar the neuro surgeon (if he exists).
Anyway, people are out here sweating mehrs, worry about compatibility and keeping a long lasting marriage. Too many people are divorcing after a year or two. Obviously, something is wrong here and I think Somali's take marriage wayyy too lightly.

I have never once seen a healthy and happy Somali marriage and that is sad.

 

[Shams nagi]

I am also the father of her future children. I am not her enemy. she shouldn't see marriage as an opportunity to drain the man she expects to provide and raise her kids. xalimo logic=xoolo logic.

So what do you suggest ? Scrap the mehr and live upstairs at mums?

 

[Ferrari]

So what do you suggest ? Scrap the mehr and live upstairs at mums?

no. be reasonable in your demands, chip in the non meher part of the marriage.
You can't drain a guy and then get pregnant in 1.8 seconds and expect him to provide for that kid.
that's a cow mentality. if you are going to marry someoone, it's best to think about the future, and plan for it.

 

[YoungFarah]

The mehr should be reasonable so that the guy can actually pay it at some point. It should be dealt with on a case by case basis.
If you want a 50k mehr, then don't marry Abdi from the block. Marry Muktar the neuro surgeon (if he exists).
Anyway, people are out here sweating mehrs, worry about compatibility and keeping a long lasting marriage. Too many people are divorcing after a year or two. Obviously, something is wrong here and I think Somali's take marriage wayyy too lightly.

I have never once seen a healthy and happy Somali marriage and that is sad.

You walaalo are very smart

 

[Lostbox]

The mehr should be reasonable so that the guy can actually pay it at some point. It should be dealt with on a case by case basis.
If you want a 50k mehr, then don't marry Abdi from the block. Marry Muktar the neuro surgeon (if he exists).
Anyway, people are out here sweating mehrs, worry about compatibility and keeping a long lasting marriage. Too many people are divorcing after a year or two. Obviously, something is wrong here and I think Somali's take marriage wayyy too lightly.

I have never once seen a healthy and happy Somali marriage and that is sad.

Are you say marrying a Somali woman will never work out? My marry out is a lot cheaper and starting to become a better option.

 

[YoungFarah]

@Shams nagi what's up nacalaa don't tease me

 

[Shams nagi]

@Shams nagi what's up nacalaa don't tease me

I forgot

 

[Lalune]

Are you say marrying a Somali woman will never work out? My marry out is a lot cheaper and starting to become a better option.

I'm not saying that at all. You will find reasonable xalimo's if you look for them, so don't get discouraged. Work on youraelf and be the best version if yourself and you will attract quality women. Believe me.
If she is a good person, she will be worth giving your money to. Don't forget, she will be raising your future children and supporting you. That is something money can't buy and we are worth more than our mehrs.
If you want to marry out, no problem. Nust amke sure she is Muslim and if good character. I see no issue with that, but don't marry out just because of mehr That's crazy.

 

[embarassing]

yep. somali american are more assimilated into society than somalis in europe. those somali diasporas talking about mehr I seen on youtube were british somalis. according to some sources somalis in europe are on the bottom line of the social ladder and are doing far much worse than other refugees.

Im canadian, but yeah I've noticed as well. The biggest qabilists are also reer europe on here, no offence to them. But I feel they've held onto the good the bad and the ugly with the culture.

 

[Shams nagi]

no. be reasonable in your demands, chip in the non meher part of the marriage.
You can't drain a guy and then get pregnant in 1.8 seconds and expect him to provide for that kid.
that's a cow mentality. if you are going to marry someoone, it's best to think ace about the future, and plan for it.

Yep probably not, personally I'll have to think about this in 10 years. I'll let you know what I decide tho

 

[YoungFarah]

I forgot