Epidemic of single Somali women

[Sophisticate]

you missed the entire point of my post and you are also out of touch o reality, I am young myself and talk to young brothers all the time, despite what you might think, all of them are starving, men are created with a high level of desire, and we are not taught how to control it, therefore as a consequence we end up making decisions on getting married, when we want to and who, largely due to how horny we are unfortunately, especially due to the fact we are not having any sexual relief, it can make a person extremely thirsty for the opposite gender, and therefore wrong marriage choices.

I try to give my advice to brothers on how to control their desires and when picking anyone for marriage or even if they should get married rn, bc clearly in our society we have a problem with sexual deprivation and we have to get married late due to societal reasons so its a big problem.

I know plenty of guys in their 30s who are still unmarried/never married. Some have never been with anyone. They are also very career oriented. So how do you explain these brothers?
Some think marriage is more of a hassle for them. And that sex isn't enough of an incentive to get in a marriage/relationship. They are also not gay but will likely get married later in life by the looks for it. This segment isn't the focus of the discussion but I've seen quite a few exceptions around.

Let's not forget that some folks are neurodivergent too which I'm convinced have not been assessed/have largely gone undiagnosed. I think there are quite a few Somalis that fit this description.

 

[KillStreakIsCool]

you missed the entire point of my post and you are also out of touch o reality, I am young myself and talk to young brothers all the time, despite what you might think, all of them are starving, men are created with a high level of desire, and we are not taught how to control it, therefore as a consequence we end up making decisions on getting married, when we want to and who, largely due to how horny we are unfortunately, especially due to the fact we are not having any sexual relief, it can make a person extremely thirsty for the opposite gender, and therefore wrong marriage choices.

I try to give my advice to brothers on how to control their desires and when picking anyone for marriage or even if they should get married rn, bc clearly in our society we have a problem with sexual deprivation and we have to get married late due to societal reasons so its a big problem.

If you attended the mosque lectures, or paid attention when you were there, I am certain they covered something along the lines of 'Lowering your gaze" and "fasting" days of the week to avoid having a runaway train of thirst. As a muslim, you have the means to understand and cope with human desire. You have the tools. Also, marriages do not fail because people marry for sex and they are horny. That is immature thinking. You marry because you love the person you met, or you are traditional who believes to make the marriage work and settle down to become a responsible father just like your forefathers did to build a nation and tribes. I say you need to correct your views on marriage. Your logic is twisted a bit.

 

[cooli3o]

I know plenty of guys in their 30s who are still unmarried/never married. Some have never been with anyone. They are also very career oriented. So how do you explain these brothers?

they Mast****** and/or watch p0rn.

 

[Sophisticate]

they Mast****** and/or watch p0rn.

How do you know that? Have you observed them? That's very assumptive of you.

 

[cooli3o]

If you attended the mosque lectures, or paid attention when you were there, I am certain they covered something along the lines of 'Lowering your gaze" and "fasting" days of the week to avoid having a runaway train of thirst. As a muslim, you have the means to undersand and cope with human desire. You have the tools. Also, marriages do not fail because people marry for sex and they are horny. That is immature thinking. You marry because you love the person you met, or you are tradtional who beleives to make the marriage work and settle down to become a responsible father just like your forefathers did to build a nation and tribes. I say you need to corect your views on marriage. Your logic is twisted a bit.

you are so naive its funny, I feel like you are a sister, correct me if I am wrong.
Also, telling brothers, to lower gaze, and fast 2 times a week does not cut it, you do not understand the male sex drive and the way we work, its not as easy as saying those 2 things, imams are unequipped to deal with alot of the fitna young men deal with and it shows by the way they brush over these topics and don't talk about them enough with the exception of new imams who talk more and more about the issue
being Muslim doesn't mean you can cope with the desire, the saahaba wanted to castrate themselves to stop themselves from not committing zina, to act as if because we are Muslim its easy is stupid, its very difficult
marriages fail for the exact reason of people only marrying for lust and fantasy, people do not love each other before marriage, especially Muslims, you have never even interacted with the person in a relationship setting only talking, the point is, Muslims get married for wrong reasons and are uninformed alot of the time, but when they get married they realise the reality, and this can lead some to divorce.

 

[KillStreakIsCool]

they Mast****** and/or watch p0rn.

These make things worse for you though. In fact, the opposite is advised and that one refrains from anything that takes them closer to Haram Sex. Watching Por-n is something that can make your desire stronger to have the real thing dude. It doesn't help.

 

[cooli3o]

How do you know that? Have you observed them? That's very assumptive of you.

you do not understand men, only 0.001% of men do not do those things, anyone who says otherwise is lying and/or saving his dignity as he should and concealing his sins, every man does it and it is unfortunate but with an excessive sex drive and a hypersexualised society there is no other outlet for men, albeit, with enough time and dedication you can go on long periods without Mastur***** and this can only be done with the strongest of men, even these men, have a history with doing it, and they might have quit but it is still a constant effort from them to quit, you can look at all the statistics you want, it will prove my point, men are very very hypersexual compared to women and very easily visually stimulated, to assume a man who you respect and is successful is just celibate since he was 12 and never engaged in degeneracy or isnt is stupid.

And I have talked to many different types of people about this issue, most men have it, in fact even imams have this addiction, nice normal day men, religious and irreligious people, all types of men from all walks of life, there are only a very rare amount who do not, and of those are those who quit this after they were doing it, so they still engaged in some degeneracy but not as bad as zinaa

 

[MR.𐒈𐒝𐒑𐒛𐒐𐒘]

MGTOW

 

[cooli3o]

These make things worse for you though. In fact, the opposite is advised and that one refrains from anything that takes them closer to Haram Sex. Watching Por-n is something that can make your desire stronger to have the real thing dude. It doesn't help.

i never said it did help what r u on about

 

[ATLbound]

I dont know if Im tripping, but something is wrong. My best friend is in his late 20s, went to uni, good on deen, never drank once in his life and stayed out of trouble. Did everything by the book, why the f*ck cant he find a Halimo to the point he is thinking about marrying outside the culture ? While on the other side ive met 2 Palestinian guys, where one of them was known to beat his somali wife ? I dont want to give ammo to the incels/most extreme ones in here, but maybe theres higher standards for us after all? Ladies hold me accountable if im wrong

And ohh the Halimo I was seeing told me she didnt want to talk about marriage, she wanted to "date". Get the f*ck outta here with that bs man. She Went to Burna Boy concert in London half qaawan, talking about "cant wait to see you". Absolute bs, nasiibada dropped the ball on me. We havent talked since then, after i felt it was a one way conversation.

The apps that they are pushing on us might unfortunately be the last option tbh. Cus aint no way im marrying outside my culture, but it just doesnt sit right with me to find a wife on a fucking app. Anyone else feel this way? rant over

 

[DJ255]

How do you know that? Have you observed them? That's very assumptive of you.

Lol, 30+ year old unmarried males, better hope thats worst they do, otherwise dealing with asexuals, fornicators or downlow khaanis

 

[Odious Delirium]

I dont know if Im tripping, but something is wrong. My best friend is in his late 20s, went to uni, good on deen, never drank once in his life and stayed out of trouble. Did everything by the book, why the f*ck cant he find a Halimo to the point he is thinking about marrying outside the culture ? While on the other side ive met 2 Palestinian guys, where one of them was known to beat his somali wife ? I dont want to give ammo to the incels/most extreme ones in here, but maybe theres higher standards for us after all? Ladies hold me accountable if im wrong

And ohh the Halimo I was seeing told me she didnt want to talk about marriage, she wanted to "date". Get the f*ck outta here with that bs man. She Went to Burna Boy concert in London half qaawan, talking about "cant wait to see you". Absolute bs, nasiibada dropped the ball on me. We havent talked since then, after i felt it was a one way conversation.

The apps that they are pushing on us might unfortunately be the last option tbh. Cus aint no way im marrying outside my culture, but it just doesnt sit right with me to find a wife on a fucking app. Anyone else feel this way? rant over

50/50 with you on that I wouldn’t say all but some definitely do have different standards for somali men and different ones for ajnabis but why would you want one that will expects so much more from you in the first place. You need to change how and where you look to find xalimos. The ones getting beat weren't ever gonna give you a chance anyways no point crying over spilt milk you didn't even own. Those girls didn't own you anything so don't even worry about them. Also don't limit your options. It's fine to have somali women as your main preference but if the perfect ajnabi comes around then you should go for it.

 

[Sophisticate]

you do not understand men, only 0.001% of men do not do those things, anyone who says otherwise is lying and/or saving his dignity as he should and concealing his sins, every man does it and it is unfortunate but with an excessive sex drive and a hypersexualised society there is no other outlet for men, albeit, with enough time and dedication you can go on long periods without Mastur***** and this can only be done with the strongest of men, even these men, have a history with doing it, and they might have quit but it is still a constant effort from them to quit, you can look at all the statistics you want, it will prove my point, men are very very hypersexual compared to women and very easily visually stimulated, to assume a man who you respect and is successful is just celibate since he was 12 and never engaged in degeneracy or isnt is stupid.

And I have talked to many different types of people about this issue, most men have it, in fact even imams have this addiction, nice normal day men, religious and irreligious people, all types of men from all walks of life, there are only a very rare amount who do not, and of those are those who quit this after they were doing it, so they still engaged in some degeneracy but not as bad as zinaa

Lol, 30+ year old unmarried males, better hope thats worst they do, otherwise dealing with asexuals, fornicators or downlow khaanis

Why do you think only 0.001% of men? You make everyone seem like a fiend with one thing on their mind.

I think I stated that some of them might even be neurodivergent. There is a lot of projection I see.

 

[cooli3o]

Why do you think only 0.001% of men? You make everyone seem like a fiend with one thing on their mind.

I think I stated that some of them might even be neurodivergent. There is a lot of projection I see.

actually in certain places I believe it to be 0% of men. but if we look at the entire population it could b around 0.001% of men, ofc there are different frequencies depending on if they have a girlfriend or not or in the army etc.. but everyone I know growing up does it, all the grown men do it, in fact, most men still do it during marriage because thats how excessive their desire is

I personally know a few brothers who do not do it but I do not have 100% guarantee they never did it and I dont know i they still dont do it but i am confident they have stopped for a long time and these are the cream of the crop.
I do not actually know anyone who doesnt do it tbh other than ppl who have not exposed it and I would assume the best of them if they are righteous ppl but hey cannot be used in data as they cannot expose their sins.
the other ppl who do not do it are ppl with very low sexual desire. like javelin
I had nuerodivergents I grew up with and they all told me about how they mastur****.
its just a natural desire in all men, as a women you wouldn't understand.

 

[Xoxoxo]

We are expected to be women & men.

have an education & full time job. Meanwhile cooking, cleaning & taking care off the man & his kids.

obviously that looks very unappealing to every women.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Why do you think only 0.001% of men? You make everyone seem like a fiend with one thing on their mind.

I think I stated that some of them might even be neurodivergent. There is a lot of projection I see.

Some of the guys can't fathom others being different from themselves or jump to the worst conclusions like being gay/asexual etc there is no point having this argument with them.
I already had this argument on multiple occasions on here. You can't reason with them only one or 2 people can avoid sinning in there opinion everyone else is addicted to masterbating

 

[cooli3o]

We are expected to be women & men.

have an education & full time job. Meanwhile cooking, cleaning & taking care off the man & his kids.

obviously that looks very unappealing to every women.

men are expected to do the exact same thing nowadays and it is very unappealing to men

 

[ATLbound]

50/50with you on that I wouldn’t say all but some definitely do have different standards for somali men and different ones for ajnabis but why would you want one that will expects so much more from you in the first place. You need to change how and where you look to find xalimos. The ones getting beat weren't ever gonna give you a chance anyways no point crying over spilt milk you didn't even own. Those girls didn't own you anything so don't even worry about them. Also don't limit your options. It's fine to have somali women as your main preference but if the perfect ajnabi comes around then you should go for it.

The ones who went thru domestic abuse, not necesserily for me, but for other faaraxs. You are right no point crying over spilt milk.

but lets be honest. How can a civil engineer whos 6’2 still havent found a wife, never got in to trouble, did everything by the book? Thats worrying if you ask me. I know of too many examples right now.

 

[cooli3o]

Some of the guys can't fathom others being different from themselves or jump to the worst conclusions like being gay/asexual etc there is no point having this argument with them.
I already had this argument on multiple occasions on here. You can't reason with them only one or 2 people can avoid sinning in there opinion everyone else is addicted to masterbating

bro there is not argument with all do respect I have talked to 100s of peole about this since I was age of 14 I have talked to every kind of person and the ppl who do not do it are so rare its almost impossible to find, I have done alot of research on this and if you do not mastur*** then you are 0.001% of men and you should be grateful but you are not normal and that is a fact and I will stand on that as a man of the truth. I can't believe we have become so deluded as a muslim community we want to deny all the degenracy in our community despite the fact marriage is so hard and delayed when in the sahabas time they could have as many concubines and wives as they wanted to fulfill their desires because they were scared to fall in fitna and you act as if it is somehow normal to not have alot of desire when you have none of those things and naked women everywhere being forced into your eyes.

Ibrahim ibn Maysarah said:

“Tawus said to me: ‘Either you get married, or I will say to you what ‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaid: There is nothing stopping you from getting married but either impotence or immorality!’ According to al-Mirwadhi, A
this imam said this and noone has a problem with it but as soon as I say something which I have proof for I am now overexxegarating?


Ibn Mas’ud said:

“If I only had ten days left to live, and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I was able to get married, I would do so, for fear of fitnah (temptation).”

 

[Xoxoxo]

men are expected to do the exact same thing nowadays and it is very unappealing to men

Let’s be honest, men aren’t expected to do that.

Women expect for men to earn the money & take care off the financial aspect off the relationship/marriage.

Men expect women to contribute 50% while birthing 3+ children and taking care off the household.

Giving birth is NOT A FUNNY EXPERIENCE.

- You’re body changes for the worst, forever. Your starts sagging and the guy you end up with might cheat on you simply because he doesn’t “find you attractive”. You can’t alter yourself surgically either since Deen wise- it isn’t allowed.

- postpartum depression. Do I even need to explain this one?

- The Hormonal changes your body goes through will alter you, for the best or for the worst.

- and the worst off it all: THE RUPTURE. Some babies have huge ass heads so a woman will end up having 1 hole instead of 2.


society & the man expects you to get your shit together within 6 months to join the work force. Yeah no shit why women aren’t interested in marriage & children since it doesn’t benefit them at the end off the day. We are very simple and don’t have high standards unlike men so nooo thank you!