Domestic Abuse

[Ubax45_]

I'm reading this other thread about the Algerian women being okay with being abused. A lot of Somali people tend to overlook domestic abuse in our own community and minimize it when comparing to south Asians and Middle Eastern people. This is one issue that effects all communities though the help people can get varies by the society they live in.

It's quite common in our community too and women are told to go back to their husbands.
I also understand there's women who beat men but maybe that's kept more hush hush.

Anyway is it common from your experience? And for the cases you do know of what has been the community response?

 

[Bahal]

I have heard of a few cases but I think we probably have less domestic violence than even Americans for example.

Very rare.

 

[Mohamud]

It's honestly a rarity. Men who beat women have always been considered weak within our culture. Even at a young age it's seen as thoroughly uncouth behaviour.

If there is a problem I'm completely ignorant to it and haven't heard much of it.

 

[Gambar]

Everything is hidden in Somali culture so it's very hard to know if it's truly a rarity.

 

[Duchess]

Men shouldn't be commenting on this topic. You say it's rare because you associate with other men. It's not rare at all and I should know since I have all the gossip.

 

[Ubax45_]

Everything is hidden in Somali culture so it's very hard to know if it's truly a rarity.

I personally know of cases. Your right though, no one knows about it unless things get really bad.

There's been cases in both qurbaha and back home of men killing their wives after years of domestic abuse that the community turned a blind eye too.

 

[Bahal]

The only cases of domestic abuse I've heard are when the husband is a raging alcoholic.

What family would tolerate their daughter being beaten black and blue?

 

[ItsHanna]

My uncle use to live in Saudi Arabia and he always bragged about beating his wife and then she would runway he would call the police and they would bring her back to him so he could again beat her.

 

[Gambar]

I personally know of cases. Your right though, no one knows about it unless things get really bad.

There's been cases in both qurbaha and back home of men killing their wives after years of domestic abuse that the community turned a blind eye too.

I have heard of a lot of cases especially back home, but it was kept hidden and secret so to others it seems rare but that might not really be the case.

 

[Duchess]

The only cases of domestic abuse I've heard are when the husband is a raging alcoholic.

What family would tolerate their daughter being beaten black and blue?

And khat chewers, extremely religious men, Ogaden men...

 

[Ubax45_]

The only cases of domestic abuse I've heard are when the husband is a raging alcoholic.

What family would tolerate their daughter being beaten black and blue?

Does she tell them?

A lot of abusers also tend to hurt you in areas that the public can't see. I had a women show me her upper underarms it was all black.

 

[Mohamud]

Men shouldn't be commenting on this topic. You say it's rare because you associate with other men. It's not rare at all and I should know since I have all the gossip.

How will we know if we're not told about it? Haven't heard it from the females I associate with nor have I heard testimonials about it. Maybe the gossip ought to stop and people need to pipe up?

But I assume things are different back home. I know little of how things operate there so maybe it is kept under wraps.

 

[Duchess]

Does she tell them?

A lot of abusers also tend to hurt you in areas that the public can't see. I had a women show me her upper underarms it was all black.

If the family doesn't care it's because the behavior is normal to them.

 

[agnes]

Abuse does happen people just don't talk about it. They usually tell the victim 'iska cafi or iska sabr'..Ilahay will deal with them etc.

 

[Bahal]

I don't want to sounf insensitive but women in the west have 0 excuse to be victims tbh.

 

[Codeine]

Men shouldn't be commenting on this topic. You say it's rare because you associate with other men. It's not rare at all and I should know since I have all the gossip.

'Men shouldn't comment on this'
'I have all the gossip'

You're right, we only deal in str8 fax

 

[Duchess]

How will we know if we're not told about it? Haven't heard it from the females I associate with nor have I heard testimonials about it. Maybe the gossip ought to stop and people need to pipe up?

But I assume things are different back home. I know little of how things operate there so maybe it is kept under wraps.

Do you really expect an abuser to just tell his male friend or family that he beats his wife? Or for an abused woman to just open up to a random man about possibly the worst thing that's ever happened to her? Women are more inclined to share this information with other women.

 

[Mohamud]

The only cases of domestic abuse I've heard are when the husband is a raging alcoholic.

What family would tolerate their daughter being beaten black and blue?

That goes for most domestic abuse cases. Substance abuse and criminality usually go hand and hand with domestic violence.

Most Somali drunkards here have long lost touch with family. They ran their wives away.

 

[Gambar]

How will we know if we're not told about it? Haven't heard it from the females I associate with nor have I heard testimonials about it. Maybe the gossip ought to stop and people need to pipe up?

But I assume things are different back home. I know little of how things operate there so maybe it is kept under wraps.

Everything is kept under wraps that's why you don't hear about it.

I don't want to sounf insensitive but women in the west have 0 excuse to be victims tbh.

That is insensitive.

 

[Lord Flacko]

Only domestic abuse in my household was when hooyo slapped the living shit out of me once


Last time I crossed any line