Am I racist?

Psychologist

Changemaker
If her hair isn't kinky, why can't she be attracted to her own hair type?
Nothing wrong with her being attracted to someone the same hair type as her but her saying that she isn't attracted to someone with kinky because of their hair is problem. its called texturism and that's what she is
 
Nothing wrong with her being attracted to someone the same hair type as her but her saying that she isn't attracted to someone with kinky because of their hair is problem. its called texturism and that's what she is

Why is it texturism and not self-love? It doesn't have to be a negative thing to ONLY like your looks.
For example, if a dark skinned man only likes dark skinned women and turns down a light skinned woman because of her skin-tone, should we call this 'colourism'?

It's odd in my opinion, to try to label natural inclinations as being discriminatory.
 
Somali ladies who are only attracted to Somali men are the norm and that's what's most healthy and natural. Stay strong in your preference and don't even feel the need to explain it to foreign thirsty men and their handmaidens.

For example; I recognise when a Japanese man is handsome, but I wouldn't be attracted. Recognising beauty doesn't always translate to 'attraction'. Even animals smell each other's pheromones to see if they are compatible before mating.
 
Ma’am I’m not tryna struggle doing my kids hair. I also don’t find them attractive in the slightest, I was trying to be nice.
Also, this dude has straight up 4c-b hair, AA with half white kids give birth to kids with 4a hair why would my 2c-3a end up with 4a. Sis some people get stuck on skintone, height, face, etc. Mine is just hair and my somali look. It’s just me preserving my genes. I don’t like 1a hair no 4c hair.
:nahgirl:
A Somali with wavy hair who marries a Somali with coarse hair (when I say coarse I mean 3c/4a ish) can absolutely have a child with coarser hair

So unless you have a β€œonly jileec hair niggas” policy you may birth a child with 3c or 4a. Seen it happen with my own cousin. It’s not even that serious imo somalis are way too hung up on hair texture
 
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That's not a friend. She's peer pressuring you. jamaican ka waa dad dhaqan xuun ka caraar. Somali guurso oo aad iska celin karto.you're entitled to have a difference preference than her why is she is asking if she cant take it?
 

Periplus

It is what it is
VIP
In Islam you're allowed to marry your 'equal' and that means compatibility. You have the right to refuse someone from another ethnic group and not be made to feel guilty about it.

No, there are literally stories of the prophet PBUH admonishing people for refusing to marry Blacks.
 

Psychologist

Changemaker
Why is it texturism and not self-love? It doesn't have to be a negative thing to ONLY like your looks.
For example, if a dark skinned man only likes dark skinned women and turns down a light skinned woman because of her skin-tone, should we call this 'colourism'?

It's odd in my opinion, to try to label natural inclinations as being discriminatory.
Not self love it's more of hate. her not wanting to date them because of their hair out of everything is weird

No, and also lightskin is literally the beauty standards, Dark Skinned Women are literally seen inferior around light skin women. you can observe how aunts always talk about how a girl is getting dark and shit, you can also find this in Somalia on how bad people bleach their damn skin just to fit in.

It's not natural, its just weird people saying they aren't attracted to someone because of their hair or skin color is weird reasoning.
 
Not self love it's more of hate. her not wanting to date them because of their hair out of everything is weird

No, and also lightskin is literally the beauty standards, Dark Skinned Women are literally seen inferior around light skin women. you can observe how aunts always talk about how a girl is getting dark and shit, you can also find this in Somalia on how bad people bleach their damn skin just to fit in.

It's not natural, its just weird people saying they aren't attracted to someone because of their hair or skin color is weird reasoning.


What about not being attracted to a particular phenotype?
 

Psychologist

Changemaker
A Somali with wavy hair who marries a Somali with coarse hair (when I say coarse I mean 3c/4a ish) can absolutely have a child with coarser hair

So unless you have a β€œonly jileec hair niggas” policy you may birth a child with 3c or 4a. Seen it happen with my own cousin. It’s not even that serious imo somalis are way too hung up on hair textures
This woman is somali and her husband is Haitian and look at their baby. The kid has the same hair as his mom



 
Note that I find kinky hair beautiful, Allah has created all of us in perfect form.
Madow men can be stunning, absolutely gorgeous. That's not the point, attraction does not make for compatibility.

I just don't think Somali women should risk marrying foreign males, especially those who come from communities with high-rates of abuse and other issues.
 

Periplus

It is what it is
VIP
Doesn't mean Somali women have to be guilted into it. Madow men are fetishised by a lot of people, so let them go sow their seeds where they are welcomed.

Yes but you do understand that race is not an acceptable reason to refuse marriage in Islam?

That’s the whole point.

If you don’t like them for any reason that’s cool. But if the only reason you’re not considering them relates to where they come from, then that ain’t cool.

That’s not guilting.
 
Yes but you do understand that race is not an acceptable reason to refuse marriage in Islam?

That’s the whole point.

If you don’t like them for any reason that’s cool. But if the only reason you’re not considering them relates to where they come from, then that ain’t cool.

That’s not guilting.


I do think it's acceptable to turn down someone due to their ethnic background. Absolutely. Compatibility includes cultural compatibility.
 
Not self love it's more of hate. her not wanting to date them because of their hair out of everything is weird

No, and also lightskin is literally the beauty standards, Dark Skinned Women are literally seen inferior around light skin women. you can observe how aunts always talk about how a girl is getting dark and shit, you can also find this in Somalia on how bad people bleach their damn skin just to fit in.

It's not natural, its just weird people saying they aren't attracted to someone because of their hair or skin color is weird reasoning.
Arguing about why other people have different beauty standards to yourself that you consider "weird" is redundant. People will like what they like and there's nothing you can do to change it.

What people consider attractive is not the same across the board & will differ on each individual.
 

Psychologist

Changemaker
What about not being attracted to a particular phenotype?
as long as it isn't aren't colorism, texturism and featurism. it ain't nothing wrong with it. You as human can't be attracted everyone, you have different beauty standard then everyone else. Beauty is subjective, everyone likes whatever they like as long as they aren't being disrespect about it
ALL babies are born with straight/wavy- slicked hair. It changes later.
Oh. at what age?
 
as long as it isn't aren't colorism, texturism and featurism. it ain't nothing wrong with it. You as human can't be attracted everyone, you have different beauty standard then everyone else. Beauty is subjective, everyone likes whatever they like as long as they aren't being disrespect about it

Oh. at what age?

"phenotype" refers to the observable physical properties of an organism;

This does include features, Somalis have quite a specific look that doesn't vary too much, so if a Somali is only attracted to the 'Somali' or 'Horner' look, that should be okay. Let's agree to disagree here.


About the hair change of babies, I think a few weeks in the natural texture shows up, a lot of babies have barely any hair to start. Look at newborn babies, they all look similar, with squished features, slick hair etc.
 

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