I've been lurking this forum off and on for a while, but now I've decided to post for the first time. There's a Somali woman who is interested in me, and I'm also interested in her. I would like to marry her, but there are some things that I see as potential red flags. I'm Afro-Latino so I don't know too much about Somali culture. Anyway, here is her breakdown.
The good:
-She has pretty good deen
-She is very pretty
-She has served me food the times that she cooked for me
-She wants to get married and life a good life
-She encourages me in all my ambitions
-She dresses traditionally for the most part with hijab and arbayo (spelling?); when she wears pants she wears a half-arbayo
-She is a generous person and overall nice and kind
-She is thoroughly in love with me
Mashallah to the good. However, here are the potential red flags.
-She is divorced and has 2 kids
-She seems to have an attitude problem at times and often says she doesn't like to be told what to do; she often starts ish for no reason when things are going well
-She was pretty wild as a teenager but seems to have calmed down as an adult
-She is overweight but not quite obese. The biggest problem is her stomach but she has a nice shape.
-She had almost all male friends on Facebook but deactivated her account when I told her to. She still has Snapchat but I made her delete most of the dudes on there. She still has it since she talks to her family on there a lot, which I think is fine.
-She tries to get tough, but backs off once I flex on her
-She likes ratchet s like Cardi B, that housewives crap, bad girls club, etc.
-She is extremely jealous, gets triggered about anything dealing with other women, and says she will not agree to me having more than 1 wife
I really like her and want to marry her. The thing is I have a feeling she may have been a bit of a when she was in high school and after her divorce. I can't prove anything and this was before I knew her, but I don't want to wife up a former since she may go again in the future. Again, I can't prove it, but when I said I would ask around about her, she first said not to, then said no Somali would tell me anything about her even if I did. That seemed funny style to me but again I don't know that much about Somali culture. She's pretty lazy and used to work out when I encouraged her, but now just claims she's monitoring her diet cuz she doesn't have time to work out.
I know a lot of you dudes don't even deal with xalimos, but can the ones who do give me insight? Is this typical? Should I take her seriously? Habeshas are fine af but I know even less about them than xalimos. I think Somali women are a great wife choice, and she is open to marrying a non-Somali so that is a plus. But the stuff I see you dudes say about them makes me wonder. Ayudame por favor (help me please in English).
The good:
-She has pretty good deen
-She is very pretty
-She has served me food the times that she cooked for me
-She wants to get married and life a good life
-She encourages me in all my ambitions
-She dresses traditionally for the most part with hijab and arbayo (spelling?); when she wears pants she wears a half-arbayo
-She is a generous person and overall nice and kind
-She is thoroughly in love with me
Mashallah to the good. However, here are the potential red flags.
-She is divorced and has 2 kids
-She seems to have an attitude problem at times and often says she doesn't like to be told what to do; she often starts ish for no reason when things are going well
-She was pretty wild as a teenager but seems to have calmed down as an adult
-She is overweight but not quite obese. The biggest problem is her stomach but she has a nice shape.
-She had almost all male friends on Facebook but deactivated her account when I told her to. She still has Snapchat but I made her delete most of the dudes on there. She still has it since she talks to her family on there a lot, which I think is fine.
-She tries to get tough, but backs off once I flex on her
-She likes ratchet s like Cardi B, that housewives crap, bad girls club, etc.
-She is extremely jealous, gets triggered about anything dealing with other women, and says she will not agree to me having more than 1 wife
I really like her and want to marry her. The thing is I have a feeling she may have been a bit of a when she was in high school and after her divorce. I can't prove anything and this was before I knew her, but I don't want to wife up a former since she may go again in the future. Again, I can't prove it, but when I said I would ask around about her, she first said not to, then said no Somali would tell me anything about her even if I did. That seemed funny style to me but again I don't know that much about Somali culture. She's pretty lazy and used to work out when I encouraged her, but now just claims she's monitoring her diet cuz she doesn't have time to work out.
I know a lot of you dudes don't even deal with xalimos, but can the ones who do give me insight? Is this typical? Should I take her seriously? Habeshas are fine af but I know even less about them than xalimos. I think Somali women are a great wife choice, and she is open to marrying a non-Somali so that is a plus. But the stuff I see you dudes say about them makes me wonder. Ayudame por favor (help me please in English).
these days ratchet people treat marriage like mutah or haram bf/gf relationships that last no more than two years, its always based on lust and other frivolous matters...
