4 wives: Are you following the Sunnah or your lust?

[Finesse]

Allah has made it halal however, Allah has also decreed that every wife is to be treated equally as does the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammed SAW.

Riddle me this;

1. How does a poor or middle-class man afford to keep 4 wives and multiple children happy? Well fed? Clothed?
2. Do you not want your children to have the best access to education, health care?
3. Are you happy to stand in front of Allah on the day of judgement and stand by your decision to bring 4 wives and multiple children into poverty?
4. Are you proud to say that you chose 4 wives because of your lust? Deep-down, do you believe it is halal?

If these 4 wife loving men were serious about following the Sunnah, they would follow the Sunnah and marry women based on their circumstances, not replace their wife with 3 young, nubile girls.

I find it sad to see 4 weak, poor families over 1 strong family with children who have the best access to everything.

I don't care if wealthy men do it, they have the money and the time to care for multiple homes.

 

[Finesse]

Furthermore, would you be happy to give your daughter away to a poor or middle-class man who has several wives?

 

[kickz]

My awoowe had 3, its my duty to surpass him

 

[Finesse]

I want to know how men really feel about it? If I was a man, I'd feel guilty for giving my children less access to a good life, because I needed 4 wives to satisfy my lust or my need to brag about my many sons.

 

[Finesse]

If you study the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammed SAW, you will see that he loved Khadija until her death and Aisha was his favourite wife afterwards, he married the other women out of duty NOT love, let alone lust like the modern Muslim man.

Furthermore, prior to Islam, men had many women, married or not, they had unlimited access, Islam stopped it at 4 WITH rules. This does not mean all men should marry 4.

 

[kickz]

I want to know how men really feel about it? If I was a man, I'd feel guilty for giving my children less access to a good life, because I needed 4 wives to satisfy my lust or my need to brag about my many sons.

What would you personally do, if I got another wife?

 

[Finesse]

What would you personally do, if I got another wife?

Tell her to leave your broke ass!

 

[kickz]

Tell her to leave your broke ass!

But what would you do, stay with me and kick her out?

 

[Finesse]

But what would you do, stay with me and kick her out?

Depends on if you're rich or broke ina'adeer.

 

[Abdurahman_somali]

I want to know how men really feel about it? If I was a man, I'd feel guilty for giving my children less access to a good life, because I needed 4 wives to satisfy my lust or my need to brag about my many sons.

Let's not sugar coating we feel great about it. Any man who tells you the opposite lies. But i agree with you in that, one need the financial opportunities, the character of a just person and sense of responsibility.

But i can feel for you and sense why females think like that. Polygamie is not a duty in Islam and to be perfectly honest i would probably never give my sister or daughter to a man, who wants multiple wifes. But on the other hand i want 4 wifes. Im a damn hypo.....

 

[Finesse]

Let's not sugar coating we feel great about it. Any man who tells you the opposite lies. But i agree with you in that, one need the financial opportunities, the character of a just person and sense of responsibility.

But i can feel for you and sense why females think like that. Polygamie is not a duty in Islam and to be perfectly honest i would probably never give my sister or daughter to a man, who wants multiple wifes. But on the other hand i want 4 wifes. Im a damn hypo.....

I totally agree with you. A man with the means and the maturity to have several wives, should do it.

I can understand the worldly desire of wanting multiple different women, women are beautiful and interesting.

At some point all 4 wives will become regular, boring or annoying even, so what will a poly man do? Divorce one? I've heard of a man doing that in Somalia, marrying and divorcing young girls. Subhanallah.

You're not a hypocrite, you're honest, take that honesty into your marriage. If you're not married, find a woman who can please you and vice versa, a woman who never bores you and you will live a good life.

 

[Finesse]

Men who are polygamous like to refer to their grandfathers but fail to mention that their grandfathers had enough wealth to sustain multiple households.

I have never heard of Somali grandfathers forcing their wives to live in one Aqal Somali and share one camel.

 

[Degmada waaberi]

Allah has made it halal however, Allah has also decreed that every wife is to be treated equally as does the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammed SAW.

Riddle me this;

1. How does a poor or middle-class man afford to keep 4 wives and multiple children happy? Well fed? Clothed?
2. Do you not want your children to have the best access to education, health care?
3. Are you happy to stand in front of Allah on the day of judgement and stand by your decision to bring 4 wives and multiple children into poverty?
4. Are you proud to say that you chose 4 wives because of your lust? Deep-down, do you believe it is halal?

If these 4 wife loving men were serious about following the Sunnah, they would follow the Sunnah and marry women based on their circumstances, not replace their wife with 3 young, nubile girls.

I find it sad to see 4 weak, poor families over 1 strong family with children who have the best access to everything.

I don't care if wealthy men do it, they have the money and the time to care for multiple homes.

If a guy can for fulfill the rights of his 1st wife and if has the means for a 2nd, 3rd or 4th than he can most certainly marry another wife, lkn you'll find niman who are struggling to fulfill the rights of the 1st wife but somehow marry a 2nd wife strange wlhi lkn they are clearly sinning by doing that and they are in for a rude awakening on the day of judgement.

"Furthermore, would you be happy to give your daughter away to a poor or middle-class man who has several wives?"

Well, it depends is the man on his deen? is he treating his wives equally and fulfilling their rights? If yes then it depends on whether my daughter wants to or not.

I can't force my daughter to be with a man she doesn't want to be with cuz marriage is about love and mercy.

Surah Ar-rum 30:21
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."

How can there be love and mercy if you're forced to stay with someone, you clearly don't want to be married to

It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Haseeb said: A girl came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice, and she said: I approve of what my father did, but I wanted women to know that their fathers have no right to do that.

Personally, i like to marry 2 InshaAllah lkn somewhere down the line if I decide I can't handle a 2nd wife I will just be with 1 wife and focus on how I can save myself and my family from the hellfire.

"O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do (precisely) what they are commanded" surah At-tahrim 60:6

It's sunnah to marry multiple wives lkn one's only setting himself to fail if one can't fulfill the rights of his wives and hell is most certainly not a nice abode.

 

[kickz]

Depends on if you're rich or broke ina'adeer.

Its a deal then, you can help me choose the 2nd and 3rd

 

[Finesse]

Its a deal then, you can help me choose the 2nd and 3rd

 

[Finesse]

If a guy can for fulfill the rights of his 1st wife and if has the means for a 2nd, 3rd or 4th than he can most certainly marry another wife, lkn you'll find niman who are struggling to fulfill the rights of the 1st wife but somehow marry a 2nd wife strange wlhi lkn they are clearly sinning by doing that and they are in for a rude awakening on the day of judgement.

"Furthermore, would you be happy to give your daughter away to a poor or middle-class man who has several wives?"

Well, it depends is the man on his deen? is he treating his wives equally and fulfilling their rights? If yes then it depends on whether my daughter wants to or not.

I can't force my daughter to be with a man she doesn't want to be with cuz marriage is about love and mercy.

Surah Ar-rum 30:21
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."

How can there be love and mercy if you're forced to stay with someone, you clearly don't want to be married to

It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Haseeb said: A girl came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice, and she said: I approve of what my father did, but I wanted women to know that their fathers have no right to do that.

Personally, i like to marry 2 InshaAllah lkn somewhere down the line if I decide I can't handle a 2nd wife I will just be with 1 wife and focus on how I can save myself and my family from the hellfire.

"O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do (precisely) what they are commanded" surah At-tahrim 60:6

It's sunnah to marry multiple wives lkn one's only setting himself to fail if one can't fulfill the rights of his wives and hell is most certainly not a nice abode.

Thank you for the detailed and informative response.
I totally agree.
That's my issue with this multiple wives issue. You will see men allowing their wives to support themselves or the government to support them and they use their meager earning to marry women back home who need less time/money to be happy.

 

[Basra]

Marriages were designed for the man to have as many children as possible. Not the hollywood version of lets grow old together. iieewww

 

[Finesse]

Marriages were designed for the man to have as many children as possible. Not the hollywood version of lets grow old together. iieewww

Lol

Marriage is merging 2 similar souls to produce imaan filled children who have the best start in life.

You just need to find a best friend you are attracted to tbh. Hollywood is nonsense.
Aint nobody got time for constant jaceeyl nacnac lol. We are not hindi.

To me Love is when the bills are paid, the house is clean and the children are asleep with full bellies and our favourite show is on TV.

 

[Apollo]

Polygamy is bad for society.

It creates instability long term. Better to have social norms against it as Westerners did (in the past at least).

 

[Basra]

Lol

Marriage is merging 2 similar souls to produce imaan filled children who have the best start in life.

You just need to find a best friend you are attracted to tbh. Hollywood is nonsense.
Aint nobody got time for constant jaceeyl nacnac lol. We are not hindi.

Love is when the bills are paid, the house is clean and the children are asleep with full bellies.

But when u grow old, the house will be empty. The children move out. U can clean your own studio apartment in granny days.

The point is, growing old together is a bit too much.