“A lot of the time in marriages these days men are the problem”

MadMullah99

Boqor of Boqors. The man your wife fantasises of.
The men are the problem yet “men are trash“ trends everyday right? Does this dumb ninja know what an unpopular opinion means?
 
I agree with her but, I feel like Somali women are their own worse enemy too. Their obsession with marriage is not normal. Yes, marriage is a blessing from Allah, however maha ninkii sidaa kuu soo fiiriyo inaad horey ka guursato. Somali women should consider checking the man they are marryings history. Additionally, when a man tells you he has been divorced and has kids, make sure you ask a lot of questions as to why. They usually will say its the womans fault, but, i,m sorry, but you got divorced two, three four times and its the womans fault?. I will not buy that bs. Furthermore, when he says he hasnt seen his children in years, which it happens, think about if you want a man like that to father your future children and if you will be ok with him eventually abandoning yours as well because it will happen.
 

Qali

Certified Pimp.
I agree with her but, I feel like Somali women are their own worse enemy too. Their obsession with marriage is not normal. Yes, marriage is a blessing from Allah, however maha ninkii sidaa kuu soo fiiriyo inaad horey ka guursato. Somali women should consider checking the man they are marryings history. Additionally, when a man tells you he has been divorced and has kids, make sure you ask a lot of questions as to why. They usually will say its the womans fault, but, i,m sorry, but you got divorced two, three four times and its the womans fault?. I will not buy that bs. Furthermore, when he says he hasnt seen his children in years, which it happens, think about if you want a man like that to father your future children and if you will be ok with him eventually abandoning yours as well because it will happen.
I agree with you 100%. I’d like to add on that Somali women need to chill with their marriage obsession, it’s rooted in our culture. You have to be married by a certain age/ you will never find a husband if you are so picky! Etc. Find a good man then get married, don’t matter what age you are. Preferably after you graduate/ finish your studies.
 
I agree with you 100%. I’d like to add on that Somali women need to chill with their marriage obsession, it’s rooted in our culture. You have to be married by a certain age/ you will never find a husband if you are so picky! Etc. Find a good man then get married, don’t matter what age you are. Preferably after you graduate/ finish your studies.

The issue is, they are never picky, they choose the first man that glances at them. Hence why its important to check the mans background, and more importantly, let a mahrum or a trusted Muslim man check the mans history and get to know him on your behalf as well. I dont know how a person cares so little about their life and the lives of the children they bring in this world too. Its so selfish.
 

Qali

Certified Pimp.
The issue is, they are never picky, they choose the first man that glances at them. Hence why its important to check the mans background, and more importantly, let a mahrum or a trusted Muslim man check the mans history and get to know him on your behalf as well. I dont know how a person cares so little about their life and the lives of the children they bring in this world too. Its so selfish.
I was saying that if they are older and still haven’t married they’ll have to settle for less since they are “too picky”. background checks are essential when finding a spouse, ugh, I can’t stress it enough.
 
Praise be to Allah.

It was narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) that women will form the majority of the people of Hell. It was narrated from ‘Imran ibn Husayn that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I looked into Paradise and I saw that the majority of its people were the poor. And I looked into Hell and I saw that the majority of its people are women.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhari, 3241; Muslim, 2737)

With regard to the reason for this, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was asked about it and he explained the reason.

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 1052)

It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

“The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) went out to the musalla (prayer place) on the day of Eid al-Adha or Eid al-Fitr. He passed by the women and said, ‘O women! Give charity, for I have seen that you form the majority of the people of Hell.’ They asked, ‘Why is that, O Messenger of Allah?’ He replied, ‘You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religious commitment than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you.’ The women asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what is deficient in our intelligence and religious commitment?’ He said, ‘Is not the testimony of two women equal to the testimony of one man?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Is it not true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?’ The women said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘This is the deficiency in her religious commitment.’”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 304)

It was narrated that Jabir ibn ‘Abd-Allah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “I attended Eid prayers with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). He started with the prayer before the khutbah (sermon), with no adhan (call to prayer) or iqamah (final call to prayer). Then he stood up, leaning on Bilal (may Allah be pleased with him), speaking of fear of Allah (taqwa) and urging us to obey Him. He preached to the people and reminded them. Then he went over to the women and preached to them and reminded them. Then he said, ‘Give in charity, for you are the majority of the fuel of Hell. A woman with dark cheeks stood up in the midst of the women and said, ‘Why is that, O Messenger of Allah?’ He said, ‘Because you complain too much and are ungrateful to your husbands.’ Then they started to give their jewellery in charity, throwing their earrings and rings into Bilal’s cloak.”

(Narrated by Muslim, 885)
 

Awdalia Rising

SSpot Special Correspondent
The problem is and always has been women. They are ruining marriages left and right now. Women are forgetting their roles in a marriage
 

Molotoff

Supreme Bosniak Geeljire
VIP
The problem is and always has been women. They are ruining marriages left and right now. Women are forgetting their roles in a marriage



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I was saying that if they are older and still haven’t married they’ll have to settle for less since they are “too picky”. background checks are essential when finding a spouse, ugh, I can’t stress it enough.

Yes! I'm borderline psycho when it comes to background checks. Especially in this day and age when people are getting to know each other for marriage online (social media, Muslim matrimonial sites etc.) If a guy tells me he graduated from a specific university, I will look up that school's commencement list to see if his name is on it (you can even find videos of them walking across the stage sometimes lol). You have to "trust but verify" everything that these guys tell you. I agree with what the sister said in the video that you should see who his family and friends are but also do a random check on him aka find out what masjid he goes to and call them up and ask about him. It sounds crazy but it's marriage that we're talking about! I don't want to be emabrassed/one upped by some information that I didn't know when I could've easily researched beforehand.
 

Qali

Certified Pimp.
Yes! I'm borderline psycho when it comes to background checks. Especially in this day and age when people are getting to know each other for marriage online (social media, Muslim matrimonial sites etc.) If a guy tells me he graduated from a specific university, I will look up that school's commencement list to see if his name is on it (you can even find videos of them walking across the stage sometimes lol). You have to "trust but verify" everything that these guys tell you. I agree with what the sister said in the video that you should see who his family and friends are but also do a random check on him aka find out what masjid he goes to and call them up and ask about him. It sounds crazy but it's marriage that we're talking about! I don't want to be emabrassed/one upped by some information that I didn't know when I could've easily researched beforehand.
Lmfao, I completely agree with you. I might use the “search up his name in the school commencement list”
 
The problem is and always has been women. They are ruining marriages left and right now. Women are forgetting their roles in a marriage


No, its men, who failed, we used to be in charge of them, we gave them too much freedom, we gave them the power, we treated them like intelligent wise men, we forgot they are females,

we need to take care of them but in a paternalistic way, and not give them too much power,

females in the west are most likely to vote for socialist parties, higher taxes, gay marriage, gay rights, transvestite rights etc,

women are not very conservative and very emotional, they want attention and praise, this is why they vote for bad policies and bad parties bad for the long term stability of a nation/race,

Seldom have i met the fair sex being wise or intelligent

have you ever had a female boss? they are ruthless, xaasid, and bad mouth too much, like Indian men, weak and feminine, so why do we trust the fairer sex with big tasks like running a company or a country

look at a company run by men, they deep down care about their employees, but females are too y and xaasid and will destroy it just to get back at someone, moan and too much and sneer talk at anything,

the female gender needs to be kept in her place, with a paternalistic attitude

we shall never treat them like men,
 
I agree with her but, I feel like Somali women are their own worse enemy too. Their obsession with marriage is not normal. Yes, marriage is a blessing from Allah, however maha ninkii sidaa kuu soo fiiriyo inaad horey ka guursato. Somali women should consider checking the man they are marryings history. Additionally, when a man tells you he has been divorced and has kids, make sure you ask a lot of questions as to why. They usually will say its the womans fault, but, i,m sorry, but you got divorced two, three four times and its the womans fault?. I will not buy that bs. Furthermore, when he says he hasnt seen his children in years, which it happens, think about if you want a man like that to father your future children and if you will be ok with him eventually abandoning yours as well because it will happen.
They don’t care. Internalized misogyny and “pick-me-ism.”

You’re preaching to the choir.
 
Yes! I'm borderline psycho when it comes to background checks. Especially in this day and age when people are getting to know each other for marriage online (social media, Muslim matrimonial sites etc.) If a guy tells me he graduated from a specific university, I will look up that school's commencement list to see if his name is on it (you can even find videos of them walking across the stage sometimes lol). You have to "trust but verify" everything that these guys tell you. I agree with what the sister said in the video that you should see who his family and friends are but also do a random check on him aka find out what masjid he goes to and call them up and ask about him. It sounds crazy but it's marriage that we're talking about! I don't want to be emabrassed/one upped by some information that I didn't know when I could've easily researched beforehand.
May Allah make it easy for you sis. I agree with the background checks. It’s seems though you have to be very thorough. I don’t know about you though, but I’m really weary of “super religious wadaad guys.” There always seems to be a huge skeleton hiding in their closets.

I find normal Somali men (pray, fast, etc) but also go to work and school and are productive members of society to be the ones you should go for.
 
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