Is it weird for Somali men to cook and clean?

Rearing*

Killua said:

Marriage probably won’t exist in the future as it’s actually proven to be useless and meaningless.The only upside to it was for procreation and tearing kids but even then new technology is being made to take care of that too .

De facto relationships is th way to go

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Yeah, it’s definitely heading that way. I don’t think marriage is necessary anymore for a lot of people, but even now, it remains the best way to raise a child. Otherwise, whatever model works for the individual is fine. I’m not set on anything personally.

VixR said:

I wouldn’t have kids with someone who can’t be an active, dependable father. That includes being hands on, in cooking, cleaning, etc, Somali or not. If I have to teach him, that’s fine, but he has to learn.

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It's sad that as a disbeliever you understand this simple concept far more then the vast majority of our useless but believing Xaalimo's who procreate with the worst of the worst from all races.

They have spawned an entire generation of dumb useless female's who can't cook, clean or differentiate between quality or filth when it comes to selecting a spouse.

This is a great tragedy especially for the female's because a good wife can elevate a weak spiritless husband or at least make it work, but the same is not true vice versa.

Inquisitive_ said:

It's sad that as a disbeliever you understand this simple concept far more then the vast majority of our useless but believing Xaalimo's who procreate with the worst of the worst from all races.

They have spawned an entire generation of dumb useless female's who can't cook, clean or differentiate between quality or filth when it comes to selecting a spouse.

This is a great tragedy especially for the female's because a good wife can elevate a weak spiritless husband or at least make it work, but the same is not true vice versa.

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You contradicted yourself a lot in this post. Can you spot them?

A good wife can’t elevate a bad husband. She’ll drown. You can’t elevate anybody. They can only elevate themselves.

I swear you live in opposite world. One of these days you’ll be forced to admit the standards aren’t high within our community, especially for men. The microscope is on women, and maybe that ended up benefiting them, but for what, when the guys are lost.

VixR said:

You contradicted yourself a lot in this post. Can you spot them?

A good wife can’t elevate a bad husband. She’ll drown. You can’t elevate anybody. They can only elevate themselves.

I swear you live in opposite world. One of these days you’ll be forced to admit the standards aren’t high within our community, especially for men. The microscope is on women, and maybe that ended up benefiting them, but for what, when the guys are lost.

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responsibility seems to be a foreign concept to must people, especially Somalis. it always start with you, the individual.

i cook everyday, pick me ladies. Daro*od only.

VixR said:

He has to learn how to cook. For my situation, that’s necessary, especially since if I have kids, they won’t be eating processed foods for as long I can help it.

Also, he has to be hands-on in more ways than you described, bc we need to get through the toddler years without daycare together.

If that’s too much, it’s a flop from the beginning, and he should have kids elsewhere.

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You listed valid reasons for him to know how to cook. But it shouldn't be written in stone that he cooks when you are around and you can handle that one aspect of the entire household needs. I would trade that one house help for 20 others that are as crucial.

You cook and I do the rest. Exceptions will be made when you give brith or get sick. Stay home mom is preferable too. Specially when there are young children.

I am impressed a western somali female would have your reasonable thoughts. Not that you are perfect and you must make concessions still about the cooking, but you aren't what I expected.

ZakWantsToPlay said:

You listed valid reasons for him to know how to cook. But it shouldn't be written in stone that he cooks when you are around and you can handle that one aspect of the entire household needs. I would trade that one house help for 20 others that are as crucial.

You cook and I do the rest. Exceptions will be made when you give brith or get sick. Stay home mom is preferable too. Specially when there are young children.

I am impressed a western somali female would have your reasonable thoughts. Not that you are perfect and you must make concessions still about the cooking, but you aren't what I expected.

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You really feel strongly against cooking lol. It’s written in stone for me.

I’m definitely not going to be a stay at home mom, either, although I do think maternity leave is too short in the states, and most jobs don’t have paternity leave here.

VixR said:

You really feel strongly against cooking lol. It’s written in stone for me.

I’m definitely not going to be a stay at home mom, either, although I do think maternity leave is too short in the states, and most jobs don’t have paternity leave here.

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You will find a man who will promise to cook I suppose. I won't and will never even consider that as worthy of bringing up by a serious female. Often people have unrealistic expectations due to their inexperience and youthful arrogance. Dreams are folly.

Most women prefer to stay home and spend time with their babies including professionals I worked with. Some women do consider family to be a burden they have to live with and they shouldn't marry to begin with. Raising children requires commitment and enduring love. It is not an easy task. Leaving children behind to work for hourly wages if you can do without it speaks poorly of the woman. Alas, in America, most people are working poor and need the money to keep a roof over their families.

I would rather have modest means and a wife who is dedicated to our children than one who spends 8 hours a day or more breathing in the unsanitary odour coming from her co-workers.

ZakWantsToPlay said:

You will find a man who will promise to cook I suppose. I won't and will never even consider that as worthy of bringing up by a serious female. Often people have unrealistic expectations due to their inexperience and youthful arrogance. Dreams are folly.

Most women prefer to stay home and spend time with their babies including professionals I worked with. Some women do consider family to be a burden they have to live with and they shouldn't marry to begin with. Raising children requires commitment and enduring love. It is not an easy task. Leaving children behind to work for hourly wages if you can do without it speaks poorly of the woman. Alas, in America, most people are working poor and need the money to keep a roof over their families.

I would rather have modest means and a wife who is dedicated to our children than one who spends 8 hours a day or more breathing in the unsanitary odour coming from her co-workers.

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Of course, you want to spend as much time with them as you can, but I’m not the stay at home type, personally.

Of course, there’s women who prefer it. But I know I want to work, so I’m not one of them. I have aspirations outside a family, so a career isn’t something I’m pursuing purely out of necessity, and no, it doesn’t speak poorly of me to do so.

I know it takes a lot to raise a kid, which is why I wouldn’t get into that lightly with someone who can’t be a true partner to me, and a good father. Otherwise, I’d sooner not have them at all.

VixR said:

Of course, you want to spend as much time with them as you can, but I’m not the stay at home type, personally.

Of course, there’s women who prefer it. But I know I want to work, so I’m not one of them. I have aspirations outside a family, so a career isn’t something I’m pursuing purely out of necessity, and no, it doesn’t speak poorly of me to do so.

I know it takes a lot to raise a kid, which is why I wouldn’t get into that lightly with someone who can’t be a true partner to me, and a good father. Otherwise, I’d sooner not have them at all.

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All good points. A rewarding career is always good to have. It will make your time worth something outside making money. If you are doing something good professionally not only for yourself but for the positive impact it has on society and on humanity, I guess it is worth to leave your home on a daily basis and spend some hours away from your kids provided they are not at a disadvantage.

You have good views and convictions regarding kids. Some women and men should not have kids at all for their inability to take care of them. I wouldn't suggest an enforcement of that because it would fall into the category of deciding people's fate through authority, but I do believe some people shouldn't have kids just because they can have kids.

Your views may change naturally once you get married for the better as well and you will find a more happier time at home than in your career. You never know how things will turn out always unless you get into it.

Life isn't as cozy as we imagine often even under the best circumstances.

Your habaryaro get uncomfortable but imagine the men who would be more uncomfortable. I would suspect something more than weirdness but your so called "sexuality". Why are you cooking and cleaning if you live with your family?

SOMALIKNIGHT said:

Your habaryaro get uncomfortable but imagine the men who would be more uncomfortable. I would suspect something more than weirdness but your so called "sexuality". Why are you cooking and cleaning if you live with your family?

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If a kid likes specific kind of food and he wants to make some for himself and for his siblings, that is cool. I have seen plenty of times young teens making food for themselves and for their siblings while the mother is around. She is not interested in making anything, feels sick or tired. Whatever the excuse, a young adult can help themselves.

I personally like tuna and make my own with all the seasoning. I drop by the cub foods store occassionaly to buy meaty tuna slices. I season that and place the tuna inside an aluminum foil then put it in the oven. Anyone at home can share it with me if they are lucky enough to see something left after it is done. I make the tuna because I love it that way, and second, others at home can not make it as good as I make it. So why bother?

It is practical to make food for yourself and for others when you want it. It is easier than wait for hours for someone to come home and make it for you right?

With that said, a female should not have an expectation that a guy cooks for her because she wants it that way. There is pride and expectations involved. I am somali after all and carry a chip on my shoulder. No female or Halimo is worth the hasstle specially when she thinks she is entitled.

Killua said:

Marriage probably won’t exist in the future as it’s actually proven to be useless and meaningless.The only upside to it was for procreation and tearing kids but even then new technology is being made to take care of that too .

De facto relationships is th way to go

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Proven?



Even if you're a secular/atheist, marriage is the only way to build real wealth and have a lasting legacy. There's a reason nearly all of the wealthy are married or continue to marry regardless of their individual beliefs, and single-parent households or "situationships" proliferate mainly among those in poverty.