What to do when father refuses a guy because of his qabiil

VixR

VixR

Veritas
saredochani10 said:
Yes it would be very offensive.:icon lol:

I remember someone said here that we would never let his daughter get married to a gabooye/tumal because they were blacksmith and he would never eat from the same plate. I didn't even know this word so I googled it. I thought it was something bad. I was shook.
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This is first I’m hearing that word. So many rare Pokémon “untouchable” discuss on here that I’ve never seen: Somali Bantu, “Tumaal”, bad meat folk.

And their “crimes” are laughable.

How can people say we’re not similar to Indians. It’s basically a caste lol.
 
Hilaac

Hilaac

Mckenzie said:
That's all i needed to read, thank you very much.

Maxay islaanta u caynayaan? Ma diyaaradii Hargeisa garaacaysay bay waday?

No proud Father should give his daughter to a family of hillbillies. In the South no Isaaq is treated that way, at best we might laugh at your accent but there is no ill treatment, especially towards a woman.

I would understand if your Father is Hawiye and your reer abtiyaal said a few words, it's natural to be wary of a man and his ppl who marries your womenfolk.
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This is ceeb tbh
 
Bohol

Bohol

VIP
A father has a right to refuse his daughter anyone he wants. If all fathers had a backbone like your father western Somalis wouldn't have a huge problem of ajnabi infiltration.
 
IstarZ

IstarZ

A mere finger can’t obscure the sun.
Yibir are accused of being magicians. Tumaal are looked down upon for being blacksmiths. Eelay are supposedly beggars but they are actually skillful people. They are all ethnically somali and follow the Islamic religion.

Stupid somalis and their superiority complex. These ppl have done nothing to them but they discriminate against them for alleged past mistakes and their professions.
 
F

Farjano-Walad

Linalina said:
Did you guys have any experience with this? I want to get married but my dad straight up refused because of his qabiil, he doesn't even want to talk to him. Guy tried to call my dad but he blocked him

I'm so frustrated and angry what should I do?
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its ok, i was banned from marrying 1saaq, Majerteen, hawiye etc, becaseu i am Oagdne and we usually tend to look down on non Absame tribes,

do this, an 1door chick brought home a dhulbahante and he 1door dad said no,

so she brought home a Jamaican with massive nose, dad cried and said please naya bring home the dhulbahante back, i prefer him,

economist call this marginal utility, something is highly valued above others,

bring home a bantu the ugliest balck dude yuo can find, hold his hand and hug him in-front of dad, let him wave his big forehead around and your dad would cry and say bring me the hawiye/isaaq (1door) whatever he is

and to be fair, an 1saaq would never marry a hawiye, rarely, isaaq are as racist as Ogaden, one of the cleanest tribes in terms of warding off sheegats, and hawiyes have this thing where they welcome any one into their clan as long as they get the Numbers, look at hawiye 1991 brand, they sold it hard,



1door marry two clans, Ogaden, dhulbahante/warsengali and maybe sometimes dir like gadabursi,

but Ogaden looks down on 1door and we marry their naago,w e never give them our females, unless he is her real cousin, in abti,

if you want my advise, do not marry an 1door unless you will worship somaliland with him/her
 
F

Farjano-Walad

Linalina said:
I don't want to lose my father but whatever my father is saying is wrong do I have to obey him even if he is wrong?
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yes obey him, somalis now dirover around 98% of the time, chances you will be divorced by these guys are very high, specially a chaat addict 1door, so make sure not to piss off your family that raised you all those years, for one day you may go back to him -98% chance,
 
F

Farjano-Walad

Linalina said:
Nope, only said "I don't want to meet him & I don't want isaaq, you can bring any other qabiil, you'll find someone better"
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your daddy is a smart man, the 1door will make you worship somalilan, and also they have a culture where his mum/dad and whole family will never ever leave you alone, they will always be nosy, get involved wit you and your marriage and you will be banned from living in hawiye lands and can only live in hargeysa,

take it from me, my people virtually banned marriage to their females and so far only one sub clan out of 5 million OG sub clans marry from them, we dont give them wives any more unless she is a his ina abti laxmi,
 
Linalina

Linalina

Tukraq said:
is your pops a hardcore nationalist or did your family have any negative history with isaaqs? whats the underlying reason? or is it the lack of connection and intermarrying between the two clans so if he does something wrong to you they can't use xeer or qabil law, you should and have the right to a better explanation, I feel he's doing it in good faith
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I don't know he never spoke about qabiil, told us it wasn't a good thing
 
Linalina

Linalina

Timo Madow and proud said:
What your Father is doing is a grave sin in Islam. Denying a daughter marriage over tribal reasons is Haram.

You should ask him why he has such a stance against Isaaq's. From what I recall, Isaaq and Hawiye have a really good relationship as both clans were partners during the rebellion against Siyaad Barre in the late 80's.


Finding out why he has such a strong dislike against Isaaq's will lead to a pathway of curing his hatred. Then inshallah, you might have a real shot at marrying your finance.
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InshaAllah I will try
 
Linalina

Linalina

Jaydaan said:
I would go the religion route and remind him about allah. Have serious talk with him and demand he atleast meet the guy and give good reason
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He gets mad easily, hard to even talk to him. Normally he is a very chill person, but now not so much when it comes to marriage. But I will do my best
 
Linalina

Linalina

kickz said:
Show him this hadith;

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah:
that the Messenger of Allah said: "If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be Fitnah in the land and widespread corruption.'"
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Thank you, I like your replies.. insha Allah he will come to his senses and accept this. Insha Allah kheir
 
TekNiKo

TekNiKo

“I am an empathic and emotionally-aware person.
VIP
Listen to your dad, he is a very wise man. I personally would have a heart attack if my daughter brings a Habar Gidir, she can marry any other clan though.
 
Wiil_Facaye

Wiil_Facaye

I don’t think that your dad is qabiilste. I think he is just protecting you from your Isaaq in-laws. Isaaq look down on hawiye. I know this because I hang out with a lot Isaaq people and a lot of them believe that hawiye are Madow or Turkana
 
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