Problems faced when females don't get married.

[iskufilann]

I cannot relate to this alhamduliah but I've seen multiple Somali girls who chose not get married because they are studying or focusing on their career or just don't want to get married because of other reasons. I don't understand why aunts or even families have a problem towards this issue like you are not the one getting married etc. A girl passing the age of 25 and not married is a massive problem to the older generation wallahi. I've seen aunts who have a problem when girls don't get married when they're 25 or above because they believe she'll become "infertile" when technically she can still get pregnant and conceive but not as well as to when she was in her early 20s. Even if the girl does not get married, they force her with some random bloke she hardly knows and then get mad when they get divorced.
I can't stress enough but if you do not want to get married, simply do not get married and live your life.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

Naaya you must get married and have kids young unless you want your kids to end up like me and @SociallyAwkwardFarax

 

[iskufilann]

Naaya you must get married and have kids young unless you want your kids to end up like me and @SociallyAwkwardFarax

LOOOOOOL I am fully aware of that. I will have my kids young don't worry about that. Hopefully they don't end up like you two inshallah

 

[Yaraye]

Yeah. I feel like there is a bit of jealousy from them. They had to marry young and lose their freedom so they use that mentality with everyone.

 

[iskufilann]

Yeah. I feel like there is a bit of jealousy from them. They had to marry young and lose their freedom so they use that mentality with everyone.

Exactly. They believe since they got married at a relatively young age, they should use that culture on their children who are born in a westernised country. I personally believe if you don't want to get married or want to get married later on in life, stick to your decision and live your life whilst you can.

 

[Sophisticate]

25. What are people crackheads? That are falling a part at the seams from advanced aging.

You are in your peak fertility years still. No millennial or zoomer born or bred in the west intends on having many kids. So, why should they be overly concerned.

My parents never pressured me because they are educated and believe in alf. Marry when you feel its right and the person meets your expectations. Don't follow someone else's timeline.

Just be cognizant of fertility windows if you want children. I think that's your only self-imposed deadline.​

 

[hayag25]

Any female 30+ not married is a problem to society as a whole, average age should be 25

 

[iskufilann]

25. What are people crackheads? That are falling a part at the seams from advanced aging.

You are in your peak fertility years still. No millennial or zoomer born or bred in the west intends on having many kids. So, why should they be overly concerned.

My parents never pressured me because they are educated and believe in alf. Marry when you feel its right and the person meets your expectations. Don't follow someone else's timeline.

Just be cognizant of fertility windows if you want children. I think that's your only self-imposed deadline.​

I've never experienced this alhamdulilah but from what I've seen with other girls, their parents pressurise them into getting married and having children when they feel it's not the right time. Some do not have understanding parents and it's kind of sad but all I can say to girls who are going through this, just marry when you feel the time is right.

 

[iskufilann]

Any female 30+ not married is a problem to society as a whole, average age should be 25

Even if the female is not married and she's aged 30 or above, society should not have an issue tbh.

 

[empressjamila]

Honestly i’ve always thought it was weird when Muslims pressure their children into being married at a certain age, don’t they believe in qadar? If it is not written for someone to be married young they will not be married then.

 

[iskufilann]

Honestly i’ve always thought it was weird when Muslims pressure their children into being married at a certain age, don’t they believe in qadar? If it is not written for someone to be married young they will not be married then.

I agree. They need to have tawakkal and believe that everything will happen for a reason. But the older generations are stuck in their ways and want to enforce their culture on their children without having a choice.

 

[Sophisticate]

I've never experienced this alhamdulilah but from what I've seen with other girls, their parents pressurise them into getting married and having children when they feel it's not the right time. Some do not have understanding parents and it's kind of sad but all I can say to girls who are going through this, just marry when you feel the time is right.

I agree. It depends on the parent.

Any female 30+ not married is a problem to society as a whole, average age should be 25

You clearly don't have your priorities straight. If you think being a single female beyond 30 and unattached is a social problem. Also, they are often highly intelligent and educated so it's safe to say they are probably contributing more in the way of tax revenue.

A woman in her 30s is still fertile so if she wants marriage and kids she can have them. The only one who considers that a problem is you. Odd, since you aren't a woman.​

 

[iskufilann]

I agree. It depends on the parent.

You clearly don't have your priorities straight. If you think being a single female beyond 30 and unattached is a social problem. Also, they are often highly intelligent and educated it's safe to say they are probably contributing more in the way of tax revenue.

A woman in her 30s is still fertile so if she wants marriage and kids she can have them. The only one who considers that a problem is you. Odd, since you aren't a woman.​

It's always men like this who have a huge problem. He probably left his 15 kids and told them that he's getting milk but never returned.

 

[Stranger3000]

I cannot relate to this alhamduliah but I've seen multiple Somali girls who chose not get married because they are studying or focusing on their career or just don't want to get married because of other reasons. I don't understand why aunts or even families have a problem towards this issue like you are not the one getting married etc. A girl passing the age of 25 and not married is a massive problem to the older generation wallahi. I've seen aunts who have a problem when girls don't get married when they're 25 or above because they believe she'll become "infertile" when technically she can still get pregnant and conceive but not as well as to when she was in her early 20s. Even if the girl does not get married, they force her with some random bloke she hardly knows and then get mad when they get divorced.
I can't stress enough but if you do not want to get married, simply do not get married and live your life.

Well theyre looking out for your interests. A woman who does not have children carries a number of risks. Namely:
1. If her pension gets wiped out and the state pension as likely to do no longer exists there is no one to help her
2. If the social state no longer exists (again as likley to do) just becoming unwell for a week risks her life
3. If her mental faculties subside as they do with age people will take advantage of her ( scamers ect)
4. If a life event happens (as it does) she has less relatives to call on for support
5. If any children can go on to be superstars she misses out on a bunch of wealth

Theres a bunch of others but essentially its not risk free. Society has tried to minimize this risk with the modern state but trillion dollar debts to do so says its likely to fail in some generation.

Now lets ask the opposite question. Is having children is risk free? No namely birth itself hence the encouragement by families to have children young to avoid complications looking out for your interest snd if you marry the wrong guy but its rarely your families interest that you marry the wrong guy. What they may have is not the right skills to find you a decent guy and thats a question of capability not intent. And since capability is usually a function of resouces the typical somali family will stuggle in this area unintentionally.

 

[hayag25]

Even if the female is not married and she's aged 30 or above, society should not have an issue tbh.

I meant the average age of marriage for females should never be 30+, ofc there are females who marry 30+ ,but that should be minority otherwise its sign of societal decline which the West is already suffering with

 

[Sophisticate]

It's always men like this who have a huge problem. He probably left his 15 kids and told them that he's getting milk but never returned.

They have no business having children if they cannot take care of them or relinquish their responsibility through abandoning them. In fact, they may even create social problems that kill people/gang bang.

Alx, I have a great father. ​

 

[Yaraye]

They have no business having children if they cannot take care of them or relinquish their responsibility through abandoning them. In fact, they may even create social problems that kill people/gang bang.

Alx, I have a great father. ​

take it from me who has an absentee father. Men who create and abandon child are the devil. Trust me, many financial/ behavioral issues can be solved if one has a good active father in life. It's a Miracle that I don't have anything besides severe trust issues and abandoment issues. I was lucky to have my mother's sisters and their husbands who saw me as their child. I saw how their healthy marriages lasted. Not many fatherless children are lucky like me.

 

[Sophisticate]

take it from me who has an absentee father. Men who create and abandon child are the devil. Trust me, many financial/ behavioral issues can be solved if one has a good active father in life. It's a Miracle that I don't have anything besides severe trust issues and abandoment issues. I was lucky to have my mother's sisters and their husbands who saw me as their child. I saw how their healthy marriages lasted. Not many fatherless children are lucky like me.

You had great examples around you. I think its vital women select men based on their capacity to be a good father and a committed spouse. Aim for one with a secure attachment style who comes from a functional two-parent home. And also fears IIahi enough not to speak about single women in obtuse apocalyptic scenarios. That's a sign of femininity and no one wants an Abdi with too much sugar in his tank or micro plastics in his cup.​

 

[Kalsoon]

I agree. They need to have tawakkal and believe that everything will happen for a reason. But the older generations are stuck in their ways and want to enforce their culture on their children without having a choice.

You could also look at it from the perspective of them wanting a good life for their daughter. They want her to move forward in life and find the kind of happiness that’s comes only from having a family.

Some people complain of parents being overly involved while others complain of having parents who don’t care. We should all count our blessings, tbh. This mainly stems from a lack of communication and understanding from both sides.

 

[Superiorabdi]

Encouraging marriage in younger age is good overall because you limit the amount of fitnah that can occur.

30 years of no intimacy?

1.That means you either getting piped down by someone on the low.

2. You’re a big fan of the smut books/wattpad stories.

3. You’re best friends friends with the shower head

4. Or you’re a massive corn addict with a smelly cucumber hidden under your mattress.

5. All of the Above

6. Or you are the magic unicorn who does none of this. (Very unlikely btw)