Xalimo explain struggle of marrying out

[Angelina]

I will say this though, ALL men are possessive, Cadaan, Madow, Asian, doesn't matter. We know what white men do to white women who date/marry out, mudshark, race traitor, brainwashed etc it's indicative of the male psyche, unfortunately that will never go away.

So are women, therefore possessiveness truly is a human trait. I can't really berate the men here for being possessive, its their inability to control it that I find needy and pathetic. They too feel the same way as they often clown black women who feel the same sense of possessiveness towards black men by calling them 'bitter'. Women can be just as possessive and i'd be lying if I was to say that If I saw a good % of Somali men marrying out wouldn't irk me. I'm just a lot more self aware and also understanding of situations like love, like mindedness or even a lack of Somali options in one's vicinity. Also, if women show any form of said possessiveness like madow women routinely do, they are met with the jealous and bitter comment. How many threads have we had here of possessive Xalimos 'hating' on a Farax with an ajnabi spouse being met with ridicule by the very Faraxs that insult Somali women in IR relationships in the exact same way!

It's straight up hypocrisy, I've seen it for myself, the lack of inconsistency irks me, and I imagine it must be frustrating for many Somali women to come across.

Honestly it just makes their talking points come across as pathetic, even if they do at times have reasonable concerns. Wanting Somalis to marry Somalis is reasonable and despite being branded an IR lover on here, i'm actually deep down a lot more conservative but such contradictions that these men display will just push more and more women to be sympathetic towards IR as clearly their dislike of it isn't based on honest apprehensions and priniciples but simply their 'feelings' and why on earth would they expect a woman to take their selfish 'feelings' into account when selecting a partner? Also, why do they think, in an age in which women have choices to be 'loyal' towards them when such loyalty isn't extended to women?

If their argument was based on logic like saying both parties should try and avoid it due to this and that and they refrained from insulting and degrading women, they'd have a lot more Xalimos take their IR concerns seriously and these threads and tiktoks wouldn't even be met with hostility from women.

 

[Chaseyourdreamzz]

I'll probably get a lot of hate for this, but this isn't an attack on just some Somali men, as it also applies to other Eastern men. The obsession of women and their antics despite their societies being shambolic is frustrating and fascinating to see. I suppose women in the male mind are the last thing/beings they can have a semblance of control over. Example, Somali scholars would often mostly concern themselves with the impropriety of women's sports, the length of jilbab ect rather than the supply and purchasing of khat or the rampant tribal violence. Why? Because they know they cannot control the unruly male masses who are indeed destroying society. But what can they control or think they can control? Women. That it seems is the rationale behind the men who have allowed other men to destroy their own nation but focus on petty issues surrounding women.

A lot of contradiction when it comes to some Somali men. Supposedly, the vast majority of Qabils descend from Arab patriarchs, in fact according to oral traditions, our very origin is of a Dir Xalimo marrying a Non Dir man of Yemeni or Iraq background. That is the story that is illustrated by our historians to be the origins of not only the Darood clan, but also the Isaaq clan, yet if a modern Xalimo marries an Arab man she is cheap and clean. But what does that say about what they think about their origins? Also, if you look at the fadi ku dir section, Hawiyes who are said to only have Somali origins are constantly insulted on here and are called 'hutu' despite looking like other Somalis.

I don't think Somali women look at other men and think they are better. That is also probably the case for those that marry ajnabis. A lot of things really are calaf and just finding yourself in a non Somali environment and then finding someone that ticks your boxes in that specific situation. I think what a lot of women even like me, who don't even really like IR relationships don't like is the lack of grace given to women who marry out. When men do it (marry out) most here recognize that him marrying out doesn't mean he dislikes Somali women, yet when women do it, it becomes personal. I think it fits in with the power and control point I made in the first paragraph. I suppose it must make some men feel powerless seeing their contry in disarray and then seeing their women marrying out (although it is a very and I mean very small %) as it signifies in their mind a lack of power.

This lack of rational thought and an inability to control one's possessiveness is what I find pathetic. I get it, even we women feel this way. If I was to see a decent Farax married to an ajnabi, my first thoughts are why not a Xalimo? I do think such an individual has made a questionable choice and that a Somali-Somali marriage would be optimal, but insulting him, assuming the worse and creating dozens of threads is unhinged and really does show an inability to rationalise and control one's emotions.

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[King Khufu]

Do You

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[Macquul ah]

I don't defend IR relationships because I inherently agree with it. I went out of my way to only marry a Somali spouse and id be the first to encourage my unmarried sisters and dear friends to strictly marry Somali men, but I respect people's right to choose who they want provided that it is halal in the Sharia and that both parties aren't being harmed, nor is the said woman marrying men who are undeserving of her (e.g ex criminals, unambitious, known addictions/vices ect). That is the crux of the issue and why I often come across as pro- IR. I'm pro- respect people's life choices and mind your business.

I'll probably get a lot of hate for this, but this isn't an attack on just some Somali men, as it also applies to other Eastern men. The obsession of women and their antics despite their societies being shambolic is frustrating and fascinating to see.

In my opinion If Somali females want equality back home in Somalia like eg: female becoming Preisident and being widely accepted by male population then they should earn it (feminine way ofcourse) by being loyal to their Somalinimo only dating/marrying Somali.
If Somali males have failed then Somali females should step up to the plate by remaining loyal (im talking about 2nd generation and onwards in The West) and not not going to other groups this is how Somali females can show their worthiness of achieving equal rights.

Somali females will be judged on their actions when they've been given a bit of freedom when they are in The West on their rights back home in Somalia.