Why do a lot of Somali girls marry men that are not on their level?

[empressjamila]

A Somali girl I know from work is getting married soon, she’s a beautiful, educated RN with a 4 year degree and her soon to be husband is a warehouse worker with no university education. Obv I congratulated her but internally I was like wtf. And I see this so often with Somali girls unfortunately.

Personally I believe as a woman it is in your best interest to marry a man either someone on your level or above. Marrying a man who doesn’t make as much as you do when you are educated and have a well paying job isn’t gonna do you any favours. You will automatically become the main breadwinner or have to split the bills 50/50. The husband can’t be the provider for you and your family as he is Islamically supposed to because he literally doesn’t have the means to. You will have no choice but to take on that role. When you have children this will be amplified. You cant stay at home with your babies for as long as you would like bc you gotta go back to work asap to put food on the table. Meanwhile you’re still doing majority of the domestic chores at home as that is the cultural expectation. While busting your ass at work. What kind of life is this?

I know it’s slim pickings out there and a lot of women will marry any guy they can find that treats them decent but a man’s income and occupation matters..don’t settle for a man below your level.

 

[Khaem]

Most women will always try for a man higher up in the ladder which is natural.
Women who go for lower level men tend to either not care about their future and just wanna have fun. Or they have low self esteem and believe they don't have many options so have to settle or be lonley

 

[Prince of HS]

I seen it too especially here in the UK. For every 5 professional Somali girls with established careers, I believe there is only one Somali guy. Not enough to go around. People might get at me for this but honestly this is the truth

 

[TekNiKo]

Wasnt Khadijah a rich businesswomen who helped fund Nabigeena SAW trade business? Its all about quality not quantity. She is happy and thats what matters quality over quantity

 

[Waa dhamatay]

The guy may be attractive in other ways I guess. Money probably isn’t a priority for her.

 

[Smif-N-Wessun]

A Somali girl I know from work is getting married soon, she’s a beautiful, educated RN with a 4 year degree and her soon to be husband is a warehouse worker with no university education. Obv I congratulated her but internally I was like wtf. And I see this so often with Somali girls unfortunately.

Personally I believe as a woman it is in your best interest to marry a man either someone on your level or above. Marrying a man who doesn’t make as much as you do when you are educated and have a well paying job isn’t gonna do you any favours. You will automatically become the main breadwinner or have to split the bills 50/50. The husband can’t be the provider for you and your family as he is Islamically supposed to because he literally doesn’t have the means to. You will have no choice but to take on that role. When you have children this will be amplified. You cant stay at home with your babies for as long as you would like bc you gotta go back to work asap to put food on the table. Meanwhile you’re still doing majority of the domestic chores at home as that is the cultural expectation. While busting your ass at work. What kind of life is this?

I know it’s slim pickings out there and a lot of women will marry any guy they can find that treats them decent but a man’s income and occupation matters..don’t settle for a man below your level.

No one cares about your education, only your looks and akhlaaq. The warehouse worker might be making good money, and they're compatible. I know many uneducated truck drivers who are killing it. Stop acting like a madow woman. White women don't care about these things, and they're getting married and are happy.

 

[Jaale Ugaas]

Personally I believe as a woman it is in your best interest to marry a man either someone on your level or above.

Key word; I ;

 

[j&jenterprises]

What don’t females understand that your career, money, personality are all superfluous to us Having a relationship with the Qur’an and Allah SWT, be feminine and obedient and competent in house duties is a female worth far more than an university educated, personality combining humorous & critical thinking, having your own car, having your own side hustle.

My life long principle is to keep the main thing the main thing. The main thing in marriage is to find a compatible & competent partner to strive towards Akhira.

1) Compatible - she is obedient and feminine.

2) Competent - she can do her house duties and has Fard al ayn ilm to teach your children 5 pillars of Islam, Akhlaaq and your Somalinimo.

A career woman can or cannot provide this. So she isn’t necessary higher in value (both Dunya wise or Akhira, from the perspective of marriage). What depends is if she provides the above. But then, a working woman will tend to scuff and find it harder to do the above given she is naturally more independent.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Women in general are getting more educated then men and men don't really care about a woman's education levels or income when it comes to picking women so men will not go out of there way overall because women want men on there education level. If they get rejected based on that they will find someone who is ok with the difference like your friend did or someone who is equal or lower like you stated and won't feel a type of way about it as a woman. Plus you can still be provided for no one said you have to go 50/50 because the individual works in a warehouse and you may not know there arrangement maybe she married due to potential since the guy may have plans in place to earn a lot more. A lot of women marry because of potential that's another angle. Maybe he isn't a minimum wage warehouse guy but had a big position? Or she isn't high maintenance and is ok with what he can provide for her

His other qualities must have captivated her

 

[Chaseyourdreamzz]

I’ve seen this as well There are more university level educated women in every community nowadays this isn’t just affecting our society

 

[Yaraye]

A Somali girl I know from work is getting married soon, she’s a beautiful, educated RN with a 4 year degree and her soon to be husband is a warehouse worker with no university education. Obv I congratulated her but internally I was like wtf. And I see this so often with Somali girls unfortunately.

Personally I believe as a woman it is in your best interest to marry a man either someone on your level or above. Marrying a man who doesn’t make as much as you do when you are educated and have a well paying job isn’t gonna do you any favours. You will automatically become the main breadwinner or have to split the bills 50/50. The husband can’t be the provider for you and your family as he is Islamically supposed to because he literally doesn’t have the means to. You will have no choice but to take on that role. When you have children this will be amplified. You cant stay at home with your babies for as long as you would like bc you gotta go back to work asap to put food on the table. Meanwhile you’re still doing majority of the domestic chores at home as that is the cultural expectation. While busting your ass at work. What kind of life is this?

I know it’s slim pickings out there and a lot of women will marry any guy they can find that treats them decent but a man’s income and occupation matters..don’t settle for a man below your level.

I agree with you. It's important to marry a man that make around your income or more w/ deen. A guy needs to have both. He can have money, but it's the deen that will make him give his wife the haaq that she deserves. I agree with you that she'll end up paying 50% and doing housework. 2 jobs in one. She about to be exhausted
Wallahi, If one can't find a man who has deen and can provide a leisurely lifestyle, then its just better to be single. Cause then you're gonna be ending up doing sooooo much work. Your life will just get tougher. Paying bills, houseworks, and in the future with kids.........damn! All that trouble for what? it really isn't worth it

 

[Yaraye]

Women in general are getting more educated then men and men don't really care about a woman's education levels or income when it comes to picking women so men will not go out of there way overall because women want men on there education level. If they get rejected based on that they will find someone who is ok with the difference like your friend did or someone who is equal or lower like you stated and won't feel a type of way about it as a woman. Plus you can still be provided for no one said you have to go 50/50 because the individual works in a warehouse and you may not know there arrangement maybe she married due to potential since the guy may have plans in place to earn a lot more. A lot of women marry because of potential that's another angle. Maybe he isn't a minimum wage warehouse guy but had a big position? Or she isn't high maintenance and is ok with what he can provide for her

His other qualities must have captivated her

It's stupid for women to marry a man for potential. There is always a possibility of him never achieving that potential. This so called "potential" is what traps a woman to a man that's struggling On top of that, some men leave their wife after hitting the jackpot. Since they believe that they've upgraded their wallet, they can get a better selection of women. Or a man might marry a 2nd wife. Now the woman will still be stuck with the same amount of money he used to give her despite him increasing his income cuz he needs to provide for a whole other person/ family. His resources has been split. She played Barbara the builder only for him to divorce her / get a 2nd wife
A woman should marry a man on what he has NOW, if a woman isn't satisfied with what he has, then keep it pushing.

Calling a woman "not high maintenance" is not a compliment. It's men code for say, "she's cheap" "she's low hanging fruit" "I don't have to do very much to get her / keep her" "She'll take what she can get".....etc

 

[j&jenterprises]

It's stupid for women to marry a man for potential. There is always a possibility of him never achieving that potential. This so called "potential" is what traps a woman to a man that's struggling On top of that, some men leave their wife after hitting the jackpot. Since they believe that they've upgraded their wallet, they can get a better selection of women. Or a man might marry a 2nd wife. Now the woman will still be stuck with the same amount of money he used to give her despite him increasing his income cuz he needs to provide for a whole other person/ family. His resources has been split. She played Barbara the builder only for him to divorce her / get a 2nd wife
A woman should marry a man on what he has NOW, if a woman isn't satisfied with what he has, then keep it pushing.

Calling a woman "not high maintenance" is not a compliment. It's men code for say, "she's cheap" "she's low hanging fruit" "I don't have to do very much to get her / keep her" "She'll take what she can get".....etc

Women cannot have it both ways. If they want a rich Muslim man, be prepared that he shares his resources to multiple wives. They want to their cake and eat it too. Also, low maintenance is one of the best characteristics a woman can have. Being low maintenance and abstemious is the greatest indicator that your interested in the Akhira over Dunya.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

It's stupid for women to marry a man for potential. There is always a possibility of him never achieving that potential. This so called "potential" is what traps a woman to a man that's struggling On top of that, some men leave their wife after hitting the jackpot. Since they believe that they've upgraded their wallet, they can get a better selection of women. Or a man might marry a 2nd wife. Now the woman will still be stuck with the same amount of money he used to give her despite him increasing his income cuz he needs to provide for a whole other person/ family. His resources has been split. She played Barbara the builder only for him to divorce her / get a 2nd wife
A woman should marry a man on what he has NOW, if a woman isn't satisfied with what he has, then keep it pushing.

Calling a woman "not high maintenance" is not a compliment. It's men code for say, "she's cheap" "she's low hanging fruit" "I don't have to do very much to get her / keep her" "She'll take what she can get".....etc

It is what it is. Most people are average/broke and will stay that way and women are more successful on average. Expecting a guy who’s already established and on your level is usually unrealistic unless you plan on marrying some soyboy or oday.

 

[A Mean Guy]

It's stupid for women to marry a man for potential. There is always a possibility of him never achieving that potential. This so called "potential" is what traps a woman to a man that's struggling On top of that, some men leave their wife after hitting the jackpot. Since they believe that they've upgraded their wallet, they can get a better selection of women. Or a man might marry a 2nd wife. Now the woman will still be stuck with the same amount of money he used to give her despite him increasing his income cuz he needs to provide for a whole other person/ family. His resources has been split. She played Barbara the builder only for him to divorce her / get a 2nd wife
A woman should marry a man on what he has NOW, if a woman isn't satisfied with what he has, then keep it pushing.

Calling a woman "not high maintenance" is not a compliment. It's men code for say, "she's cheap" "she's low hanging fruit" "I don't have to do very much to get her / keep her" "She'll take what she can get".....etc

Let me fulfil your cinderella dreams.
Buy yourself something nice my Queen.

 

[Jaale Ugaas]

Let me fulfil your cinderella dreams.
Buy yourself something nice my Queen.
View attachment 262899
View attachment 262900

 

[Waa dhamatay]

Read the card name. First the fake reddit story and now this I thought you were supposed to be high IQ??

 

[Jaale Ugaas]

Read the card name. First the fake reddit story and now this I thought you were supposed to be high IQ??

I just needed an excuse to spam smilies, I'm a simple man.

 

[Wervelwind]

There are a lot of educated Xalimos and not enough Faraxs to go around

Faraxs, level up and get yourself 4 of these girls. The ball is in your court

 

[Angelina]

Women cannot have it both ways. If they want a rich Muslim man, be prepared that he shares his resources to multiple wives. They want to their cake and eat it too. Also, low maintenance is one of the best characteristics a woman can have. Being low maintenance and abstemious is the greatest indicator that your interested in the Akhira over Dunya.

Funny how Muslim men are allowed to want to be rich and work towards it and it doesn’t mean they’re only interested in the dunya? Let’s be real, figures like Tate became a big deal amongst the men due to his substantial wealth, but women aren’t allowed to also want wealth as well.