Why are Somalis so rude to their kids?

[Lord]

Thats why most of us are damged by the time and behind time att 18

 

[Boogie]

Would rather discipline my kid then for it to turn into these little shits

 

[Desert Flower]

Don't get me started on the moms who sweet-talk their husbands (huuno this, baby that, macaanto this) while simultaneously screaming at their child. Its disgusting and off-putting. The world is tough. Be kind and compassionate to YOUR children. You brought them into this world.

Maybe its because I'm not a mom, but I honestly don't see myself being harsh towards my own flesh and blood. I couldn't do it. This does not mean that I won't discipline them, but you still can while having rahma towards them. The two are not mutually exclusive.

 

[Basra]

 

[Boogie]

View attachment 163058

What does that mean???

 

[Caadi iskadig]

Has anyone noticed how mean Somali parents are? Why do they speak so rudely and insult their children? Like ma'am that is your child. Why are you being so mean to it?

Can you give us an example of your understanding of a Somali parent being rude to their child?

 

[xalimathe6]

I hope these people don't have kids with such a mindset. Imagine birthing a defenseless being and mentally abusing it for acting like a child normally does. I'm really shocked at the responses I'm getting.

I'm afraid I'm not shocked at all. It's a coping mechanism for people with abusive parents to try to convince others that the abuse they've gone through is normal, but in reality they are mostly trying to convince themselves. From my observation, it seems they're getting defensive and name-calling because they see it as a personal attack.

 

[Destiny]

Don't get me started on the moms who sweet-talk their husbands (huuno this, baby that, macaanto this) while simultaneously screaming at their child. Its disgusting and off-putting. The world is tough. Be kind and compassionate to YOUR children. You brought them into this world.

Maybe its because I'm not a mom, but I honestly don't see myself being harsh towards my own flesh and blood. I couldn't do it. This does not mean that I won't discipline them, but you still can while having rahma towards them. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Right how is calling your kids names or speaking rudely towards them discipline? Aside from them being your children, you're still abusing another human being's dignity, and who gives you that right? And I doubt the Prophet spoke this way to his children.

 

[xalimathe6]

cant relate. my parents were always nice to me since I was the youngest kid
my brothers kept me straightened out tho

Same my parents are nice af. I'm the youngest too but they were nice to all of us

 

[Caadi iskadig]

I'm afraid I'm not shocked at all. It's a coping mechanism for people with abusive parents to try to convince others and themselves that the abuse they've gone through is normal. From my observation, it seems they're getting defensive and name-calling because they see it as a personal attack.

My mother has been the kindest mother I've could've asked for. I'm surprised that a lot of people are saying that there's abuse going on.

Can you give us an example, because I'm curious to know what kind of abuse you're talking about?

 

[Boogie]

Wallahi I am grateful for dugsi it helped teach me work hard then u can play hard also it helped me get thicker skin

 

[Destiny]

Can you give us an example of your understanding of a Somali parent being rude to their child?

Speaking rudely to your child without any reason, or insulting their looks or intelligence. These are common things I've seen Somali parents do. This is classic emotional abuse.

 

[Desert Flower]

Right how is calling your kids names or speaking rudely towards them discipline? Aside from them being your children, you're still abusing another human being's dignity, and who gives you that right? And I doubt the Prophet spoke this way to his children.

It isn't. There's a thread on here about narcissistic mothers that touches on this topic.

Have a read if you haven't already:
https://www.somalispot.com/threads/narcissistic-mothers.103311/

 

[xalimathe6]

My mother has been the kindest mother I've could've asked for. I'm surprised that a lot of people are saying that there's abuse going on.

Can you give us an example, because I'm curious to know what kind of abuse you're talking about?

My mother is extremely kind too, but I've seen other parents be abusive to their kids both physically and verbally firsthand. I've heard them call their kids qashin, baastar, etc. very casually.

 

[Alluring]

Being a parent is not just feeding and clothing children. You need to bond with them emotionally, they need to be able to trust and love their parents.

That emotional bond is missing in a lot of parent-child relationships. I know so many mothers who verbally harass their children insulting their looks and things children cannot physically change about themselves.

 

[Basra]

Being a parent is not just feeding and clothing children. You need to bond with them emotionally, they need to be able to trust and love their parents.

That emotional bond is missing in a lot of parent-child relationships. I know so many mothers who verbally harass their children insulting their looks and things children cannot physically change about themselves.

How kids do u have huuno?

 

[Fariin]

Its completly unacceptable, there's a difference between tough love and ruining your kids self esteem. This is why children in our communities lack real confidence.

 

[Caadi iskadig]

Speaking rudely to your child without any reason, or insulting their looks or intelligence. These are common things I've seen Somali parents do. This is classic emotional abuse.

Didn't know that was prevalent in the Somali community to be honest. Never understood the point of someone birthing a child just to abuse them.

 

[Alluring]

How kids do u have huuno?

I am a single woman Basra

 

[Boogie]

Since when was this a problem now we have another problem mannnn was not aware of this