who's to blame for the rise of single mother households?

[jamal9]

Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free

 

[Apollo]

The government

 

[Inquisitive_]

I'm talking about our parents generation. The newer generation usually get divorced due to money problems.

The older generation's marriages were in tact prior to the civil war in Somalia and only fell apart after fleeing to the West, so how do you explain this?

To me it's very simple, it's the same thing that destroyed AA communities, welfare! and the subsequent satanist culture that has created the illusion of independence.

This is affecting all ethnic groups today and especially those without strong community cohesion which counterbalances these evils much like the Arab's and Asian's who are mostly immune from this as a result.

I do blame the older Somali male generation for never building this strong community cohesion like the Asian's and Arab's have due to their idiotic qabyaalad and their inability to think long-term.

But then again, they were the first generation while the Asian's and Arab's have been her for much longer, they are also economic migrants while our fathers were refugees.

Our fathers were mostly in their 40's when they got to the west loosing everything back home, it takes tremendous struggle to start all over again in a foreign racist land, with foreign language at that age.

If you don't have a strong wife to support you that understands the struggles, your toast! regardless how motivated you are.

Instead they quickly sought mass divorce because the welfare check she was to receive in the 90's and early 2000's was higher then the salary he brought home from a menial labour job.

I dont know about asians, but for arabs that actually helps my point. Because the difference between their culture and ours is, the dads take a far more active role in parenting in theirs.

This is only an issue in the diaspora. I explained this in depth before.

They have strong communities which serves as iron bulwark against injustices and mischief for both couples, reputation and sometimes even life's are at risk for those who violate.

It also helps that their women are naturally more feminine in behaviour then ours, and unlike us, they look down on divorce as a culture. (hence female's are more motivated to make marriages work)

Parents select well vetted partners for both, unlike us who go the haram route and pick scums of the streets based on naive idiotic criteria's.

As a result both couples are highly motivated to make it work, reputation and family honour are at risk otherwise.

If you contrast this with the Somali community, the female's brazenly comes up against her own mother, refuse all mediation over small disputes, and seeks divorces.

There are 3 things that stop a person from mischief, thulm and impulsive actions.

1. Fear of Allah (doesn't exist in the majority of people)
2. Intelligence (again missing in the fast majority of people)
3. Immediate Consequences (Arab and Asian communities have this we don't!)

I like how you blame the girl for making bad choices when its a 2way street, did the man not also choose a bad wife in that case? A lot of you have such hatred for women common sense goes out the window.

Throughout history and even back home, it's the parents who select partners for both genders because they have very little knowledge or wisdom to make the right choices in life.

It's the role of the parents to guide both as they have a combined 100 years of experience over them.

I look back at some of the choices I almost made in my teen's and early 20's and I praise Allah that it never worked out, because looking back now, they were terrible and I would have been in ruins.

Yet somehow we allow this to happen in the diaspora, and a big reason for this is the absence of fathers and that is caused by the mother's throwing them out and making them toothless.

Yes a few of them inevitably deserve to be thrown out, but not the vast majority of them, if you argue the opposite, you will have to explain why these marriages worked back in Somalia but failed in Europe.

 

[bluebird]

The older generation's marriages were in tact prior to the civil war in Somalia and only fell apart after fleeing to the West, so how do you explain this?

To me it's very simple, it's the same thing that destroyed AA communities, welfare! and the subsequent satanist culture that has created the illusion of independence.

This is affecting all ethnic groups today and especially those without strong community cohesion which counterbalances these evils much like the Arab's and Asian's who are mostly immune from this as a result.

I do blame the older Somali male generation for never building this strong community cohesion like the Asian's and Arab's have due to their idiotic qabyaalad and their inability to think long-term.

But then again, they were the first generation while the Asian's and Arab's have been her for much longer, they are also economic migrants while our fathers were refugees.

Our fathers were mostly in their 40's when they got to the west loosing everything back home, it takes tremendous struggle to start all over again in a foreign racist land, with foreign language at that age.

If you don't have a strong wife to support you that understands the struggles, your toast! regardless how motivated you are.

Instead they quickly sought mass divorce because the welfare check she was to receive in the 90's and early 2000's was higher then the salary he brought home from a menial labour job.




This is only an issue in the diaspora. I explained this in depth before.

They have strong communities which serves as iron bulwark against injustices and mischief for both couples, reputation and sometimes even life's are at risk for those who violate.

It also helps that their women are naturally more feminine in behaviour then ours, and unlike us, they look down on divorce as a culture. (hence female's are more motivated to make marriages work)

Parents select well vetted partners for both, unlike us who go the haram route and pick scums of the streets based on naive idiotic criteria's.

As a result both couples are highly motivated to make it work, reputation and family honour are at risk otherwise.

If you contrast this with the Somali community, the female's brazenly comes up against her own mother, refuse all mediation over small disputes, and seeks divorces.

There are 3 things that stop a person from mischief, thulm and impulsive actions.

1. Fear of Allah (doesn't exist in the majority of people)
2. Intelligence (again missing in the fast majority of people)
3. Immediate Consequences (Arab and Asian communities have this we don't!)




Throughout history and even back home, it's the parents who select partners for both genders because they have very little knowledge or wisdom to make the right choices in life.

It's the role of the parents to guide both as they have a combined 100 years of experience over them.

I look back at some of the choices I almost made in my teen's and early 20's and I praise Allah that it never worked out, because looking back now, they were terrible and I would have been in ruins.

Yet somehow we allow this to happen in the diaspora, and a big reason for this is the absence of fathers and that is caused by the mother's throwing them out and making them toothless.

Yes a few of them inevitably deserve to be thrown out, but not the vast majority of them, if you argue the opposite, you will have to explain why these marriages worked back in Somalia but failed in Europe.

I agree with most of what said here but I have a couple problems. You still seem to down play the responsiblity of a man to hold his family together and let them off to easily by stating myths like "other females are more submissive" I know a lot of arab women and they are 2x more belligerent to their husbands than somali women, esp when they arrive to america and feel freedom. They yell and beat their husbands often, so thats not a good excuse.

And what worked in somalia is not gonna work here. We live in a non muslim country and that loosey goosey behavior doesn't fly here. You need to have a tight grasp on your family to make it work.

And the welfare corrupts men, too. They are no longer focused on their family because in their heads they were just their for financial support and when the government does it for them, they render themselves useless.

 

[Inquisitive_]

I agree with most of what said here but I have a couple problems. You still seem to down play the responsiblity of a man to hold his family together
and let them off to easily by stating myths like "other females are more submissive" I know a lot of arab women and they are 2x more belligerent to their husbands than somali women, esp when they arrive to america and feel freedom. They yell and beat their husbands often, so thats not a good excuse.

I have an even worse opinion about those types of men then you, throughout history they were mostly eliminated from the gene pool and from reproducing.

They were either peasants, slaves, cannon fodders or monks, no one in their right mind would ever give a daughter in marriage to them.

The female's themselves in those dire times would rather be wife number 10 to a powerful respectful male then wife number 1 to a weak spineless miscreant, even concubine number 100 wouldn't go near them.

These pathetic spineless males today are given great opportunities to reproduce and breed as a result of both affluence and the breakdown of family which has caused ridiculous increase in degeneracy.

Males or Females raised in a good households if they were given free reigns to choose their spouses in their teens or early 20's, would make bad choices, and those from broken homes will make choices that are 10x worse.

This is were our problem in the diaspora stems from! we don't do this back home and hence we don't see these problems their.

Because the society their is patriarchal, there is no satanic system to counter this and therefore the fathers their have dominance and authority, if they fail in their duty, they have no excuses.

But what authority does a Somali father in Europe have? system is against him, his own community is in complete disarray and dislike each other due to qabyaalad so no support from them.

If the woman he married, does not fear Allah (vast majority of them) there is absolutely nothing he can do to rectify anything, because no consequences exist for her actions.

People's behaviour's are either governed through the fear of Allah (tiny minority), deep intelligence (few) or the threat of immediate consequences (the majority)

None of these factors are in place for us in the diaspora, it's very rare to even come across an intelligent Xaalimo much less one who truly fears Allah.

All you need to do to judge the basic intelligence of them is to look at the kind of wedding's they want and the amount of money that is wasted in the space of a few hours which is 98%+ of our marriages.

A women who is so eager to put the whole family in debt and is adamant about it while enriching already rich Asian businesses out of her own tiny pockets, would not think twice about destroying her own household.

These types of women are like a wild wildebeest that are completely out of control, it doesn't matter how great of a man you are because they are too stupid to see it.

And what worked in somalia is not gonna work here. We live in a non muslim country and that loosey goosey behavior doesn't fly here. You need to have a tight grasp on your family to make it work.

Elaborate on this tight grasp your talking about? what does it entail?

How exactly would one implement this in the west ? how is this implemented on the masses of none intelligent women that don't fear Allah?

What kind of consequences exist for the woman that would force her to either retract, redact or change in our community? please explain this to us.

 

[bluebird]

I have an even worse opinion about those types of men then you, throughout history they were mostly eliminated from the gene pool and from reproducing.

They were either peasants, slaves, cannon fodders or monks, no one in their right mind would ever give a daughter in marriage to them.

The female's themselves in those dire times would rather be wife number 10 to a powerful respectful male then wife number 1 to a weak spineless miscreant, even concubine number 100 wouldn't go near them.

These pathetic spineless males today are given great opportunities to reproduce and breed as a result of both affluence and the breakdown of family which has caused ridiculous increase in degeneracy.

Males or Females raised in a good households if they were given free reigns to choose their spouses in their teens or early 20's, would make bad choices, and those from broken homes will make choices that are 10x worse.

This is were our problem in the diaspora stems from! we don't do this back home and hence we don't see these problems their.

Because the society their is patriarchal, there is no satanic system to counter this and therefore the fathers their have dominance and authority, if they fail in their duty, they have no excuses.

But what authority does a Somali father in Europe have? system is against him, his own community is in complete disarray and dislike each other due to qabyaalad so no support from them.

If the woman he married, does not fear Allah (vast majority of them) there is absolutely nothing he can do to rectify anything, because no consequences exist for her actions.

People's behaviour's are either governed through the fear of Allah (tiny minority), deep intelligence (few) or the threat of immediate consequences (the majority)

None of these factors are in place for us in the diaspora, it's very rare to even come across an intelligent Xaalimo much less one who truly fears Allah.

All you need to do to judge the basic intelligence of them is to look at the kind of wedding's they want and the amount of money that is wasted in the space of a few hours which is 98%+ of our marriages.

A women who is so eager to put the whole family in debt and is adamant about it while enriching already rich Asian businesses out of her own tiny pockets, would not think twice about destroying her own household.

These types of women are like a wild wildebeest that are completely out of control, it doesn't matter how great of a man you are because they are too stupid to see it.




Elaborate on this tight grasp your talking about? what does it entail?

How exactly would one implement this in the west ? how is this implemented on the masses of none intelligent women that don't fear Allah?

What kind of consequences exist for the woman that would force her to either retract, redact or change in our community? please explain this to us.

Oh wow, you really do have a strong hatred for somali women to imply that they are the only materialistic ones as if that isnt a trait shared by most of humanity male and female! And to outright say their are no intelligent ones

by tight grasp I mean by playing/interacting with the kids. Being up to date on how they are doing in school and dugsi, basically, being involved in more than just financial help. and helping around the house (which is sunnah)

most somali parents dont even speak to their kids and they wonder why none of them speak the language

 

[Inquisitive_]

Oh wow, you really do have a strong hatred for somali women to imply that they are the only materialistic ones as if that isnt a trait shared by most of humanity male and female! And to outright say their are no intelligent ones

I don't have hate for anyone.

On the topic of intelligence, any women that seeks the types of weddings we see today which makes up 98% in our community is in my book stupid and lacks intelligence.

What makes the Somali ones worse then other groups like the Asian's or Arabs, is that in the latter group the parents manage everything and the money flows back in their inner circles, they book everything strategically.

Everyone from the guy that owns the hall to the women who makes the cake, are all relatives. The whole occasion of the wedding is used so that others "bring gifts to the new couple"

In the end they benefit both ways, they receive way more then they spent in terms of gifts, and whatever they spent went to close relatives which flows back to them.

It's shamefully the opposite with Somali's and at the front-line of this degeneracy is the female and her mother followed by that clueless imbecile male who is coerced to play by their rules.

100% of that hard earned cash that belongs to both of them, goes to wealthy Asian and Arab business men, not a penny goes back to any Somali (not even he mehr that is never paid by such people anyway)

Wealth is generational and families throughout the past like the Rockefeller's and Rothschild have gone to such far extent as to commit incest just to keep the wealth within the family.

Yet you berate me for classifying the majority of these women as being stupid and of low intelligence and hence by extension you inadvertently support this despicable status quo

by tight grasp I mean by playing/interacting with the kids. Being up to date on how they are doing in school and dugsi, basically, being involved in more than just financial help. and helping around the house (which is sunnah)

most somali parents dont even speak to their kids and they wonder why none of them speak the language

These are the broken homes and homes were both parents are brain dead. every other language was forbidden in our house except Somali. (my father made this rule and enforced this)

He was able to do all of this and get involved because my mum was intelligent enough to never get in his way

But had she instead undermined him, get in his way like the majority of dumb women I know off did, he would have been ineffective, got filled with rage and subsequently end up being thrown out like the majority

We don't see these issues in Somalia, majority of fathers are involved despite having 10 or so children from multiple wife's.

Why does this problem exist in the diaspora but not back home?

 

[temporaryacc]

You've basically said it all. It's a combination of failing to recognize their duty/roles as parents + neglecting to understand the importance of fulfilling it in cooperative way. A solution can only be possible when parents learn to put the needs/greater good of their children over their particular selfish interests.

 

[bluebird]

I don't have hate for anyone.

On the topic of intelligence, any women that seeks the types of weddings we see today which makes up 98% in our community is in my book stupid and lacks intelligence.

What makes the Somali ones worse then other groups like the Asian's or Arabs, is that in the latter group the parents manage everything and the money flows back in their inner circles, they book everything strategically.

Everyone from the guy that owns the hall to the women who makes the cake, are all relatives. The whole occasion of the wedding is used so that others "bring gifts to the new couple"

In the end they benefit both ways, they receive way more then they spent in terms of gifts, and whatever they spent went to close relatives which flows back to them.

It's shamefully the opposite with Somali's and at the front-line of this degeneracy is the female and her mother followed by that clueless imbecile male who is coerced to play by their rules.

100% of that hard earned cash that belongs to both of them, goes to wealthy Asian and Arab business men, not a penny goes back to any Somali (not even he mehr that is never paid by such people anyway)

Wealth is generational and families throughout the past like the Rockefeller's and Rothschild have gone to such far extent as to commit incest just to keep the wealth within the family.

Yet you berate me for classifying the majority of these women as being stupid and of low intelligence and hence by extension you inadvertently support this despicable status quo





These are the broken homes and homes were both parents are brain dead. every other language was forbidden in our house except Somali. (my father made this rule and enforced this)

He was able to do all of this and get involved because my mum was intelligent enough to never get in his way

But had she instead undermined him, get in his way like the majority of dumb women I know off did, he would have been ineffective, got filled with rage and subsequently end up being thrown out like the majority

We don't see these issues in Somalia, majority of fathers are involved despite having 10 or so children from multiple wife's.

Why does this problem exist in the diaspora but not back home?

Did you know these communties you are claiming are better than is in that regard take on riba loans to get married and ask for 50k meher lol. I know a lot of you guys suffer from grass is much greener, but a lot of indian men complain about how materialistic the women in their culture... As a matter of fact nouman ali khan addresses this often. And do you really think this other groups don't book venues or get the wedding cakes/dresses/tux from western businesses:/

To answer your question its because back home, people are a community and work like one. Also they had more pride in what they did back home, here they get into menial work and waa niyad jabaan or something

 

[Inquisitive_]

Did you know these communties you are claiming are better than is in that regard take on riba loans to get married and ask for 50k meher lol. I know a lot of you guys suffer from grass is much greener, but a lot of indian men complain about how materialistic the women in their culture... As a matter of fact nouman ali khan addresses this often. And do you really think this other groups don't book venues or get the wedding cakes/dresses/tux from western businesses:/

To answer your question its because back home, people are a community and work like one. Also they had more pride in what they did back home, here they get into menial work and waa niyad jabaan or something

I know these communities very well, lived in their neighbourhoods all my life, went to the same schools and colleges were they made up 90% of the students

I work with them and for many years, the majority of my friends were composed of them, the exceptions never make the rule, so yes you'll have the odd ones.

Usually these are people of lower caste or not qualified and since parents drive the marriage process A-Z in their communities, it's tough for them and they will have to go over the top to win hearts and minds.

Even then, the family of the female still benefit, yes they are slowly beginning to deteriorate and become like us, it will take them another 20 years to reach our stage of degeneracy in the diaspora.

Whenever you marry a women from a different tribe, the family of the women will rinse the dude, it happens everywhere, but unlike them, when we do this, that money never falls in Somali hands (big difference)

Their women no doubt are more materialistic, more ego-centric, far more weaker & narcissistic then our Xalimo's, but it's give and take, in return they tend to be a lot more submissive and feminine then ours.

I prefer my own over them because I despise weak woman, but in the context of the satanic west, they make better wife's then our's.

They are terrified to raise kids alone but our Xaalimo's delusionally believe they can do everything alone and wear this as a badge of honour, hence that strength becomes a wicked weakness.

Once you factor in our despicable culture, having no community cohesion and a lackadaisical attitude to divorce, all of our Xalimo's strength instantly turns into a massive weakness in the west.

 

[Mercury]

We don't see these issues in Somalia, majority of fathers are involved despite having 10 or so children from multiple wife's.

Why does this problem exist in the diaspora but not back home?

Back home women arent alone they get help from relatives or maids that help with the housework,cooking etc they have it much easier and stress free And the guy isn’t much around

But in the west you’re on your own things are harder so the husband has to help the wife with the house and kids cause this isn’t Somalia no more