who's to blame for the rise of single mother households?

[Ferrari]

Iska amuus aboow.

why?

 

[Nalle]

why?

Cuz the topic is about single mothers, your are not a single mother nor are your a woman. This is a naag topic, please excuse yourself if you don’t get the casaan thingy every month.

An honest advice from a brother, this is if you don’t want your Friday to get ruined with xaar throwing gender wars.

 

[Steamdevolopment]

.

The thing that healthy families have in common that dysfunctional ones are missing is the parents having respect for one another as adults and recognize the importance of the other, and both parents actively taking in role in upbringing the kids.

In your typical somali dysfunctional family, the husband believes himself to only be there for financial support. Now when the wife makes money of her own and on top of that receives aid, this is a recipe for disaster because she is also already doing household work, caring for the kids etc. In her mind, the husband becomes useless and she loses respect for him. And without a wife having respect for her husband, no marriage is gonna work like that. These kind of men get constantly nagged and belittled by their wives and later, the mom gets full custody and they don't even try. They are too lazy

The amount of fathers who are willing to walk out is probably a very small number, same with women who just want to kick the man out and block their kids dad out of their lives. In the case where a father takes his parenting seriously, do you really think he would get kicked out

Sis, you're not even trying if you don't include

Civil war trauma
Greater access to welfare and less dependence on men
Influence of liberal social values (feminism)
Stress of adapting to a new environment
Positive feed-back mechanism of fatherless childhood
Polygamy and the change of wives

And this is just on top of my mind @Knowles @AussieHustler

 

[bluebird]

The women.

They got too caught up with neo feminism. Women want security and freedom at the same time. A woman should submit to her husband, that's her place in marriage. Let the man do his duty and you do yours, problems arise when wax walba lai'sku qaso and no one knows their role.

If as you say, a woman can provide for herself and do everything herself, why does she even need a man? If it is for the kids, then she should make it clear upfront that after kids come, she'll divorce him, or find a man who's on board with a deal like that.


Society in general is a cycle of patriarchy, gynocentrism and collapse eventually. The Somali community is somewhere between the latter two right now and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it. Let's just watch as everything goes to shit.

See this is where the excuses come in. Instead of trying to save face for your fellow men why don't you admit they were emasculated do to their weak passive nature? Keep telling yourself that women kick out men to be independent but I guarantee you the majority of women want a husband who is strong and reliable, not an expendable one.

 

[Mercury]

Many blame the Somali women for not doing her role aka stay in the kitchen and take care of the kids

Let’s face it if men started acting like men instead of a 15 year old dhocil who have been told to do her chores It takes a real man to raise a family and keep his wife satisfied

Instead you have many so called men like @Ferrari who are too busy prancing around like school girls and complain when the wife takes charge If your balls were dropped already the wife wouldn't need to grow a pair that’s the truth

 

[Muji]

Sis, you're not even trying if you don't include

Civil war trauma
Greater access to welfare and less dependence on men
Influence of liberal social values (feminism)
Stress of adapting to a new environment
Positive feed-back mechanism of fatherless childhood
Polygamy and the change of wives

And this is just on top of my mind @Knowles @AussieHustler

Somali fathers are the root cause of every ill in our community

Wouldn’t you agree @Steamdevolopment

 

[bluebird]

Many blame the Somali women for not doing her role aka stay in the kitchen and take care of the kids

Let’s face it if men started acting like men instead of a 15 year old dhocil who have been told to do her chores It takes a real man to raise a family and keep his wife satisfied

Instead you have many so called men like @Ferrari who are too busy prancing around like school girls and complain when the wife takes charge If your balls were dropped already the wife wouldn't need to grow a pair that’s the truth

That last part is exactly what I'm trying to say

 

[Somali psycho]

My friend Ahmed created two single mothers, and he is on his third marriage now in span of two years. We call him single-mother creator.

 

[Ferrari]

See this is where the excuses come in. Instead of trying to save face for your fellow men why don't you admit they were emasculated do to their weak passive nature? Keep telling yourself that women kick out men to be independent but I guarantee you the majority of women want a husband who is strong and reliable, not an expendable one.

How are you any different? you're justifying what women do after admitting it's wrong.

wax aan kuu sheego if you are going to marry, ninkaaga ka dambee si adab iyo asluub leh. if not, either don't marry, or prepare for a divorce.

kulahaa we need a reliable man. No man is going to stick around with your typical somali woman and if he does, he's either a dayuus like @Mercury or he's mentally sick.

 

[bluebird]

How are you any different? you're justifying what women do after admitting it's wrong.

wax aan kuu sheego if you are going to marry, ninkaaga ka dambee si adab iyo asluub leh. if not, either don't marry, or prepare for a divorce.

kulahaa we need a reliable man. No man is going to stick around with your typical somali woman and if he does, he's either a dayuus like @Mercury or he's mentally sick.

I'm saying what is in human nature, people won't respect you if you aren't being useful to them. Lets say I humor your opinion, ok, can you still not see the problem?? Reread my posts because I dont feel like reiterating myself again and again

There you go again making blanket statements your entire mind has been warped by negative assumptions

 

[Ferrari]

I'm saying what is in human nature, people won't respect you if you aren't being useful to them. Lets say I humor your opinion, ok, can you still not see the problem?? Reread my posts because I dont feel like reiterating myself again and again

There you go again making blanket statements your entire mind has been warped by negative assumptions

lol walle waa yaab. inleen waa qof walba iyo qumanahiisa.

adeer si fiican ii dhagayso. horta xaaska iyo ninka is qaba qof walba so camal iyo shaqo kusoo aadi mayso? jawaabtu waa haa. marka anigu waxaan idhi oo kaliya odaygana haka soo boxo meeshii loo diray gabadhana sidoo kale. maxaa sidaa ka qaldan?

It's not a lie that somali women waxay khalad ka fahmayn feminism. iyadoon luuqada englishka la kaca kufaysa bay hadana doonaysaa in ninkii qabay la ficiltanto.

yaan la'is dhibin. guurka hadaadan camal iyo niyadii lala rabay midna hayn ama aaminsanayn dee adeer guumees iska ahoow, meelahaa jilbaha ku faydo inleen mid aad ku xooqato kolay waad heli.

 

[bluebird]

lol walle waa yaab. inleen waa qof walba iyo qumanahiisa.

adeer si fiican ii dhagayso. horta xaaska iyo ninka is qaba qof walba so camal iyo shaqo kusoo aadi mayso? jawaabtu waa haa. marka anigu waxaan idhi oo kaliya odaygana haka soo boxo meeshii loo diray gabadhana sidoo kale. maxaa sidaa ka qaldan?

It's not a lie that somali women waxay khalad ka fahmayn feminism. iyadoon luuqada englishka la kaca kufaysa bay hadana doonaysaa in ninkii qabay la ficiltanto.

yaan la'is dhibin. guurka hadaadan camal iyo niyadii lala rabay midna hayn ama aaminsanayn dee adeer guumees iska ahoow, meelahaa jilbaha ku faydo inleen mid aad ku xooqato kolay waad heli.

I only agree with the top part so lets just leave it there. Since you glided over my previous posts without reading apparently...

Also stop making it personal im talking about broken household ha igu saadinin

 

[Inquisitive_]

@SilverL

Why is it that this problem doesn't exist back home and the vast majority of fathers are involved with their children even after divorce takes place? despite the several wife's he has?

Why is it that Asian/Arab communities don't have the same problems in the diaspora with regards to ridiculous divorce rates and dysfunctional households?

It's very simple, we let our untrained clueless daughters fend on the streets for husbands.

Women who are raised in affluent societies were survival is easy will almost always make terrible choices when it comes to selecting husbands off the streets because their are no consequences.

Hence why the Arab/Asian communities don't allow this and neither do we back home, this is were the greatest dysfunction begins.

 

[Emily]

The women for keeping the babies
Let nigga raise those little ones

 

[SOMALIKNIGHT]

Wallahi it's the women.

Once they get a job, they don't want their husbands anymore. Or once they have kids, they don't want the husband anymore.

When was the last time you heard a man divorcing his wife, especially in Somali homes? It's always the women.

I blame feminism.

You never hear a Somali woman divorcing her non Somali husband. It is the non Somali husband who divorces her!!

 

[Cognitivedissonance]

On the last sermon of prophet muhammad may the peace and blessing of Allah be upon him before he died he warned men about the evils of women by saying becareful of women three times.

May Allah protect us from the fitna of women may Allah help me see things as they are and not as they appear to be amiin

 

[Mercury]

Wallahi it's the women.

Once they get a job, they don't want their husbands anymore. Or once they have kids, they don't want the husband anymore.

When was the last time you heard a man divorcing his wife, especially in Somali homes? It's always the women.

I blame feminism.

You never hear a Somali woman divorcing her non Somali husband. It is the non Somali husband who divorces her!!

If the husband isn’t contributing to the family and she’s solely doing everything by herself how you expect her to respect him?

Respect is earned not given

 

[Mercury]

@SilverL

Why is it that this problem doesn't exist back home and the vast majority of fathers are involved with their children even after divorce takes place? despite the several wife's he has?

Why is it that Asian/Arab communities don't have the same problems in the diaspora with regards to ridiculous divorce rates and dysfunctional households?

It's very simple, we let our untrained clueless daughters fend on the streets for husbands.

Women who are raised in affluent societies were survival is easy will almost always make terrible choices when it comes to selecting husbands off the streets because their are no consequences.

Hence why the Arab/Asian communities don't allow this and neither do we back home, this is were the greatest dysfunction begins.

Look back home the wife is never singlehandedly doing everything by herself she either got relatives helping always around helping or a maid

But in the west she don’t have nobody other than her husband that’s why she need his help otherwise she will get stressed out

 

[Ferrari]

I only agree with the top part so lets just leave it there. Since you glided over my previous posts without reading apparently...

Also stop making it personal im talking about broken household ha igu saadinin

Once somali women learn English, or once the ones born here get LPN certificate all the sudden she's 'naag nool' who no one cant even have a civil discussion.

Most Somali girls your age are NOT marriage material and most guys do NOT understand this and they make the mistake of wifing them up, hence the ridiculous divorce rates. Fact!

 

[bluebird]

@SilverL

Why is it that this problem doesn't exist back home and the vast majority of fathers are involved with their children even after divorce takes place? despite the several wife's he has?

Why is it that Asian/Arab communities don't have the same problems in the diaspora with regards to ridiculous divorce rates and dysfunctional households?

It's very simple, we let our untrained clueless daughters fend on the streets for husbands.

Women who are raised in affluent societies were survival is easy will almost always make terrible choices when it comes to selecting husbands off the streets because their are no consequences.

Hence why the Arab/Asian communities don't allow this and neither do we back home, this is were the greatest dysfunction begins.

I'm talking about our parents generation. The newer generation usually get divorced due to money problems, starting off haram and therefore lacking baraka, marrying someone for stupid reasons, (looks, short term infatuation)
I dont know about asians, but for arabs that actually helps my point. Because the difference between their culture and ours is, the dads take a far more active role in parenting in theirs.

I like how you blame the girl for making bad choices when its a 2way street, did the man not also choose a bad wife in that case? A lot of you have such hatred for women common sense goes out the window.