What's your morning routine?

[epiphany]

Here's mine:

1. I open my eyes looking forward to another great day ahead and thank Allah for everything he gave me and make dua for my deceased relatives.
2. I beat my meat.
3. When I finish I take a shower for approximately 20 minutes and wash my long, luscious hair.
4. I wear clean clothes and make up my bed.
5. I go downstairs and make my Weetabix.
6. I beat my meat again.
7. I wear my makeup and braid my hair.
8. I study for 3 hours.
9. I go outside for my daily vitamin d.

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10. I exercise for 2 mins.
11. I go on my phone/ laptop until 3 am and feel depressed for not accomplishing anything thus leading to me beating my meat again.
12. I go to sleep whilst beating my meat

 

[FiftyPence]

What is “beating my meat”?

 

[Lord of Warshiekh]

Here's mine:

1. I open my eyes looking forward to another great day ahead and thank Allah for everything he gave me and make dua for my deceased relatives.
2. I beat my meat.
3. When I finish I take a shower for approximately 20 minutes and wash my long, luscious hair.
4. I wear clean clothes and make up my bed.
5. I go downstairs and make my Weetabix.
6. I beat my meat again.
7. I wear my makeup and braid my hair.
8. I study for 3 hours.
9. I go outside for my daily vitamin d.

Spoiler

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10. I exercise for 2 mins.
11. I go on my phone/ laptop until 3 am and feel depressed for not accomplishing anything thus leading to me beating my meat again.
12. I go to sleep whilst beating my meat

Aren’t you a 41 year old woman? Don’t you have a husband?

What is this?

 

[epiphany]

What is “beating my meat”?

I can show you what it is

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[FiftyPence]

I can show you what it is

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Bisinka you beat your meat twice a day... well damn

 

[epiphany]

Bisinka you beat your meat twice a day... well damn

Can you not read??? I beat my meat 3 times a day PLUS in my sleep

 

[Guure]

Bisinka you beat your meat twice a day... well damn

15yr me would laugh at this comment.

 

[FiftyPence]

1. Well I wake up around 9am
2. Decide to watch some Netflix and scroll through the internet.
3. Get up to brush my teeth and have a shower.
4. At this point it is around 2pm, I make myself some breakfast.
5. Does some studying for about 5 hours.
6. I feel really proud of myself, so I go to Tesco to treat myself to some snacks.
At this point it is 8pm, I watch some more Netflix and scroll through the internet.

 

[FiftyPence]

Can you not read??? I beat my meat 3 times a day PLUS in my sleep

That’s a lot of beating walaal

 

[FiftyPence]

15yr me would laugh at this comment.

Why?

 

[Leila]

Only on Somalispot do you have to ask people what their gender is and if they are a Muslim .

 

[Calaf]

0. Wake Up
1. Pray Fajr at time (4-5 AM)
2. Read a bit of Quran
3. Revise and quick nap
4. Call my wife and others in the west
5. Get ready for a gym session
6. Go to gym for at least 20 min
7. Come home, get books and everything for the day. Get ready for school. Being neat
8. Take a Taxi and Go to the border of Malaysia and Singapore, buy chewing gum in Malaysia since it is banned in Singapore, so a quick stop at a shop.
9. Head to a halal breakfast joint in Singapore (Coba Coba most likely). Eat breakfast, have my little brush and eat chewing gum
10. Take public transport to Campus
11. Head to Uni, head to class

My morning Routine, never changes. Hygiene is there, brush my teeth and have a shower are normal stuff.

 

[Guure]

Why?

He would laugh at how pathetically low 2 times a is

 

[Shmurda]

1. Smoke a cig
2. Brush my teeth
3. Shower
4. Eat
5. Bust a nut
6. Get Dressed
7. Go to work

 

[Leila]

Aren’t you a 41 year old woman? Don’t you have a husband?

What is this?

Kkk anaa la yaabey

 

[HanadR6]

Here's mine:

1. I open my eyes looking forward to another great day ahead and thank Allah for everything he gave me and make dua for my deceased relatives.
2. I beat my meat.
3. When I finish I take a shower for approximately 20 minutes and wash my long, luscious hair.
4. I wear clean clothes and make up my bed.
5. I go downstairs and make my Weetabix.
6. I beat my meat again.
7. I wear my makeup and braid my hair.
8. I study for 3 hours.
9. I go outside for my daily vitamin d.

Spoiler

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10. I exercise for 2 mins.
11. I go on my phone/ laptop until 3 am and feel depressed for not accomplishing anything thus leading to me beating my meat again.
12. I go to sleep whilst beating my meat

Study what?

 

[B-is-the-code]

Here's mine:

1. I open my eyes looking forward to another great day ahead and thank Allah for everything he gave me and make dua for my deceased relatives.
2. I beat my meat.
3. When I finish I take a shower for approximately 20 minutes and wash my long, luscious hair.
4. I wear clean clothes and make up my bed.
5. I go downstairs and make my Weetabix.
6. I beat my meat again.
7. I wear my makeup and braid my hair.
8. I study for 3 hours.
9. I go outside for my daily vitamin d.

Spoiler

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10. I exercise for 2 mins.
11. I go on my phone/ laptop until 3 am and feel depressed for not accomplishing anything thus leading to me beating my meat again.
12. I go to sleep whilst beating my meat

If you beat your meat that much a day and you are 41....walaalo you are done your job in this world..we have to sacrifice your life to the lion

 

[B-is-the-code]

1. Well I wake up around 9am
2. Decide to watch some Netflix and scroll through the internet.
3. Get up to brush my teeth and have a shower.
4. At this point it is around 2pm, I make myself some breakfast.
5. Does some studying for about 5 hours.
6. I feel really proud of myself, so I go to Tesco to treat myself to some snacks.
At this point it is 8pm, I watch some more Netflix and scroll through the internet.

You dnt beat your meat?

 

[B-is-the-code]

0. Wake Up
1. Pray Fajr at time (4-5 AM)
2. Read a bit of Quran
3. Revise and quick nap
4. Call my wife and others in the west
5. Get ready for a gym session
6. Go to gym for at least 20 min
7. Come home, get books and everything for the day. Get ready for school. Being neat
8. Take a Taxi and Go to the border of Malaysia and Singapore, buy chewing gum in Malaysia since it is banned in Singapore, so a quick stop at a shop.
9. Head to a halal breakfast joint in Singapore (Coba Coba most likely). Eat breakfast, have my little brush and eat chewing gum
10. Take public transport to Campus
11. Head to Uni, head to class

My morning Routine, never changes. Hygiene is there, brush my teeth and have a shower are normal stuff.

Spoiler: Ar sxb

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[FiftyPence]

You dnt beat your meat?

Not really... I mostly beat my meat once a week