What would you do ?

A

Angelina

VIP
I’m sick and tired of men who have a history and baggage expecting to be with someone who has persevered themselves from the sake of Allah. I’ve seen your posts in the past, you’ve shown time and time again that you used to have loose morals and if you’ve changed, MashaAllah, hence you should give your bride the benefit of the doubt and hope that she has also repented as well.

I also have to add, as a person before marrying, you need to do your background check. You married her without making sure about her past, but I also have to add, Allah is just and it might be that Allah has blinded you to her past because ultimately this is what you deserve.

Instead of coming on this forum and being advised by a bunch of teens who are barely adults, ask yourself, do you want another divorce under your belt? Do you want to traumatize a girl of 22 who has clearly been through a lot? Not only do you also have a lot of baggage, you’re also significantly older. How about you man up, take accountability and try and hold down your family and steer BOTH of you in a God conscience direction in which you both repent and turn your backs on whatever it is you’ve done which most on this forum know and also convince your wife to also become closer to the deen.

Both of you, my advise is to seek refuge in Allah.
 
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Homerlilian2.0

Homerlilian2.0

Why don’t you consult the mother or the father about the girl if you feel reserved and unsure about her .

Also an honest dialogue with the girl wouldn’t be any bad either . A serious one at that .

may Allah make it easy for both of you
 
Medeea

Medeea

Wait, so she got pregnant once or twice? And did you already marry her or are you about to?
If you’re just about to marry her….DONT. But if you’re already married… uuff that’s tough. But I will tell you not to give up on your marriage just yet.

At least try to understand why she was so fudeed. Some girls are actually good girls but their fudeednimo comes from them trying to run away from their strict wahhabi family, feeling super lonely, and etc. Things that you can easily fix.

Assuming you’re not holding a major grudge (a lil one is fine), I say give it at least a year and see if it’s workable. Just don’t get her pregnant in the meantime.
 
Devilsadvocate

Devilsadvocate

Everything you’re explaining is about past events and nothing about her current temperament or behavior. So to me, it seems like you don’t have an issue with her now but rather a grudge based on this new information. If her father has moved on and is on good terms with her, maybe you should consider doing the same. Her past doesn’t define her if she has truly changed.
 
Nur_

Nur_

A quick read through your post history tells me you aren't exactly sheikh material yourself brother.


Assuming you aren't already married, spend some time talking to her. A talking stage if you will. You can see how you feel over the next few months. Have a serious talk with her too.
 
Hybrid()

Hybrid()

Death Awaits You
To clarify the story furthermore, she honestly told me about her previous marriage and the baby she lost through stillbirth.
After her family found out about her pregnancy, her boyfriend ended up marrying her with the help of her mother/relatives although her father disowned her and didn't partake in the meher ceremony.
 
Hybrid()

Hybrid()

Death Awaits You
Angelina said:
I’m sick and tired of men who have a history and baggage expecting to be with someone who has persevered themselves from the sake of Allah. I’ve seen your posts in the past, you’ve shown time and time again that you used to have loose morals and if you’ve changed, MashaAllah, hence you should give your bride the benefit of the doubt and hope that she has also repented as well.

I also have to add, as a person before marrying, you need to do your background check. You married her without making sure about her past, but I also have to add, Allah is just and it might be that Allah has blinded you to her past because ultimately this is what you deserve.

Instead of coming on this forum and being advised by a bunch of teens who are barely adults, ask yourself, do you want another divorce under your belt? Do you want to traumatize a girl of 22 who has clearly been through a lot? Not only do you also have a lot of baggage, you’re also significantly older. How about you man up, take accountability and try and hold down your family and steer BOTH of you in a God conscience direction in which you both repent and turn your backs on whatever it is you’ve done which most on this forum know and also convince your wife to also become closer to the deen.

Both of you, my advise is to seek refuge in Allah.
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Chaseyourdreamzz said:
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She's very attractive with a great personality and her father comes from a noble family. That's why I never suspected her of having a bad past.

My mother wants me to keep her and get a second wife who's pious and chaste as soon as a desire.
 
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