What do you guys on Sspot think of Somali Women who live on their own?

[Dibleyy]

Do you guys think she might be hiding something? I decided after high school my house was too crowded and decided to move out, when I left my moms friends were calling me everything under the sun, saying I was maybe a harlot and shurmuto, my mom knew it wasnt true since I was overweight then and she knew I had a phobia of men in general but the rumors about me being iyalla suuk was rampant and it bothered my mom so much I ended up moving back after a couple of month's. What do you guys think about Somali Women especially moving out and growing independent from their families?

 

[HalimaJ]

I think its disgusting that your mother's friends were insulting you and making accusations with no proof. Vile bunch.

In saying that in our culture it does look odd if you live alone, whilst your parents live in the same city as you. Ideally, you should be living at home until you marry.

However, to suggest that a girl is some sort of harlot for living alone is absolute insanity and reeks of misogyny.

I lived abroad last year and was living alone. Nobody judged me due to the fact that I was in a completely different country. However, if I moved out whilst living in London then people would judge.

 

[Lostbox]

Nothing. I don't care. If you can afford so, why not?

 

[Samaalic Era]

A woman moving out and living on her own without a necessity is dodgy at best.

 

[government]

Its very suspect of you moving out on your own when most somali men don't however it is wrong for your aunts to say such things about you

 

[Ugaaso]

Worry about yourself sis. loose weight, build up your self confidence and pay no attention to the negativity.
I personally wouldn't move out of my parents house for safety reasons but ultimately it's your choice.

 

[AIOPZ]

Do you guys think she might be hiding something? I decided after high school my house was too crowded and decided to move out, when I left my moms friends were calling me everything under the sun, saying I was maybe a harlot and shurmuto, my mom knew it wasnt true since I was overweight then and she knew I had a phobia of men in general but the rumors about me being iyalla suuk was rampant and it bothered my mom so much I ended up moving back after a couple of month's. What do you guys think about Somali Women especially moving out and growing independent from their families?

I'm surprised you decided to leave right after finishing high school, since in Muslim families even the men wait until they get married to move out.

Since it's such a big taboo for a woman to live on her own, I only expect suspicious women who've abandoned their culture/diin to live by themselves. Nothing on you, but I honestly can't blame your aunts for thinking like they did. It's genuinely unheard of in our community for a young single woman to live on her own.

 

[Aaegal]

I'm surprised you decided to leave right after finishing high school, since in Muslim families even the men wait until they get married to move out.

Since it's such a big taboo for a woman to live on her own, I only expect suspicious women who've abandoned their culture/diin to live by themselves. Nothing on you, but I honestly can't blame your aunts for thinking like they did. It's genuinely unheard of in our community for a young single woman to live on her own.

You're making a leap there. What those women are doing is backbiting, isn't that haram?

Moving out allows people to grow up and be independent. I don't see an issue with that. Where I live, a lot of Somali girls have moved out and now live with their friends/siblings. When you live at home, it's comfortable and some people like to take advantage of their parents and aren't motivated to work harder.

 

[government]

You're making a leap there. What those women are doing is backbiting, isn't that haram?

Moving out allows people to grow up and be independent. I don't see an issue with that. Where I live, a lot of Somali girls have moved out and now live with their friends/siblings. When you live at home, it's comfortable and some people like to take advantage of their parents and aren't motivated to work harder.

I'm surprised her parents let her live on her own in most Somali families even the boys stay until they get married

 

[pablo]

Same with the boys, if a boy moves out he is accused of being a drug dealer so even they are told to stay until they get married for the most part.

 

[Basra]

Do you guys think she might be hiding something? I decided after high school my house was too crowded and decided to move out, when I left my moms friends were calling me everything under the sun, saying I was maybe a harlot and shurmuto, my mom knew it wasnt true since I was overweight then and she knew I had a phobia of men in general but the rumors about me being iyalla suuk was rampant and it bothered my mom so much I ended up moving back after a couple of month's. What do you guys think about Somali Women especially moving out and growing independent from their families?

I think first of all, economically it doesn't make sense to move out of your moms home. U save loads of money living home. Not to mention, how can u leave your dear beloved hoyoo behind?

Second of all, morally it is suspicious. A girl cannot live by herself. Privacy breeds wasaaqniimo.


third of all, u can still live with hooyo and have like a weekend getaway with girl friends. Have both world. Have your cake and eat it too.

fourth & last-- Reiko i am getting to know u now.

 

[Dibleyy]

Its very suspect of you moving out on your own when most somali men don't however it is wrong for your aunts to say such things about you

There were too many people living in my house and I really just wanted to experience independence. Though living with roommates was definetly an experience I'll never forget

 

[Basra]

There were too many people living in my house and I really just wanted to experience independence. Though living with roommates was definetly an experience I'll never forget

Bad roommate experience or good?

 

[Dibleyy]

Bad roommate experience or good?

Very bad! Lived with an caadan and a half asian, half asian was ok but the caadan girl was wild I didnt realize caadan girls were that bad

 

[inacabdillahi]

What if the girl lives with her brother because the house was too crowded like dibley said? Would you guys still judge ger? I use to just lurk here but I had to comment now lol.

 

[Tukraq]

You're making a leap there. What those women are doing is backbiting, isn't that haram?

Moving out allows people to grow up and be independent. I don't see an issue with that. Where I live, a lot of Somali girls have moved out and now live with their friends/siblings. When you live at home, it's comfortable and some people like to take advantage of their parents and aren't motivated to work harder.

How is it haram if there saying it to her face, that’s not backbiting lol

 

[jamal9]

 

[Southerner]

If you move out home, just know the magical protection from hooyo is gone.

That means people will automatically assume you're hoeing around. Why do you think Somali women visit each other's houses and stay so late into the night.

I even heard a rumour about myself whilst I was away studying. My family quizzed me apparently I was sneaking back into town and was seen hugging a girl

I was too innocent to enjoy the haram that I was accused of

 

[A_A]

What a coincidence. I was planning to move out and was wondering how to tell my parents, ilaan there is a stigma with girls moving out.

 

[NotMyL]

Personally I don’t see anything wrong with it but financially I don’t think it’s a good idea. You could save a lot of money living at your parents.