Ummah forum "Being against marrying outside your culture is xaraam and a plot by nationalists"

[Bohol]

I used to post on ummah forum and never seen that there but tbh the first time I seen all these bad stereotypes is on here and somnet before

There is many threads in ummah forum where Ajnabi members speak of halimos as cheap
they say "they are the easiest for revents to marry".

 

[Burhan]

I used to post on ummah forum and never seen that there but tbh the first time I seen all these bad stereotypes is on here and somnet before

A simple google effort of "Somali Sisters, Ummah Forum" produced a link, and in the first page-thread, all kinds of non-somalis were negatively commenting including one who said Somali girls dress in modest hijab but are bad in private. How does he know? Stranger yet enough some no brainer dude relates how some Somali idiot told him he is okay with non-somalis marrying Somali women from his family but not allowing those same women to marry a Somali tribe different from his.

You took this topic personal and you should not. You also confuse two issues, one larger than the other. The kinship Somalis feel towards each other, and the choices some young and adult Somali females make for themselves, to which most Somalis disagree with because of how they see themselves as better and for each other. Many ethnic groups and races see themselves that way, so Somalis are not alone.

By all means, any woman who wants to marry a non-Muslim, a Muslim, that is her prerogative. One thing that same woman can not question is the right of Somalis to despise such marriages. Or that same woman going around and maligning Somalis for her choice no one else approves of.


You can read the comments below here.


http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?242715-Calling-Out-to-All-Somalis

 

[bluebird]

There is many threads in ummah forum where Ajnabi members speak of halimos as cheap
they say "they are the easiest for revents to marry".

I see. I never frequented the marriage part of the forum tbh

 

[Burhan]

The Irony in that thread at Ummah, each member has some quality quotes from Islam, yet some of them are negatively talking about Somalis doing what Islam forbids - Gossip.

If I didn't know that no one is perfect despite what they claim outwardly as perfect religion and say they practice, I would be upset. That thread is a classic example of how religion is what someone gets out of it and not necessarily claims of attachment people make to the religion.

I am reminded everyday, by muslims like that and nonmuslims, that being Somali IS ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTS GOD granted me through my parents. There is nothing I will sacrifice that for, anyone displeased with that can choke themselves and I would not help them live.

 

[bluebird]

Anyone else notice how he never posted a link to the actual thread on Ummah Forum? How do we know this thread is even real?

this is op's quote from the other thread as far as I know

 

[Bonjour]

Imagine your so called revert husband is getting a second wife because he thinks that's his right. Wadno xanun you are on your own, and there will be no Somali elder meeting to discourage him. So Better to stick to Somalis. A revert can leave you and your kids.

 

[Burhan]

Imagine your so called revert husband is getting a second wife because he thinks that's his right. Wadno xanun you are on your own, and there will be no Somali elder meeting to discourage him. So Better to stick to Somalis. A revert can leave you and your kids.

To bust your bubble, Somali elders may welcome your Somali husband's second marriage they see that as his business. Elders have better uses I think other than that polygamy issue. One has to respect a man's right to marry a second wife if he wants to. What makes it wrong is when the non-Somali does it because he thinks Somali women are cheap and it is easy for him to get another woman to agree to marrying him and become a second or third wife. It is the view he holds and the fact that he takes advantage of someone's low self-esteem and stupidity that makes his actions seem corrupt and wrong, not the polygamy itself. Waa nin ku yasaya guurso, that is screwed up. When the man thinks less of his wife, then she is a toy to be discarded at his will right? that is the issue.

 

[Kaafiye]

How come the Pakistani and Arab and West Africans don't share their women with Somali men? Why do Somalis share their women and the gesture isn't returned?

Somali Salafis are probably the most shameless type of people. Even a Salafi from another ethnic group would not give up their daughter to a foreigner.

You're speaking nothing but the truth. They're a shameless bunch who have no value for our Somali people. No one would expect a Pakistani or Arab man to be so spineless where he would allow any random foreigner to marry his daughter, just because he "happens to be Muslim."

 

[Burhan]

You're speaking nothing but the truth. They're a shameless bunch who have no value for our Somali people. No one would expect a Pakistani or Arab man to be so spineless where he would allow any random foreigner to marry his daughter, just because he "happens to be Muslim."

I like the Somali approach of "let it be" better than the alternative from Pakis which is Honor killing. At least the girl is marrying the nonsomali dude religiously legal and civically.

Somali parents may have gone wrong in not sharing the beauty of their culture and instill in their kids how important marrying your like is. Beyond that a Somali father should not be violent in reaction to his daughter's poor decision. It is not easy to distance yourself from someone who is dear to you and who can not relate to your pain and views of how things are better or should be done. There is little the parents can do if the female who is an adult at this stage made her decision.

What sets our culture apart from other muslims of the east and far east Asians, and arabs is how we are not violent towards women and don't punish them emotionally through dominance that has no basis in Islam.

 

[Lone Wanderer]

It's up on those two individuals. If they want to marry each other, who are we to stop them? Just because they're apart of a different culture/ethnic group from each other isn't relevant. People shouldn't be expected to marry a person from the same ethnic background. People should be expected to marry someone they care about.

 

[Ferrari]

I like the Somali approach of "let it be" better than the alternative from Pakis which is Honor killing. At least the girl is marrying the nonsomali dude religiously legal and civically.

Somali parents may have gone wrong in not sharing the beauty of their culture and instill in their kids how important marrying your like is. Beyond that a Somali father should not be violent in reaction to his daughter's poor decision. It is not easy to distance yourself from someone who is dear to you and who can not relate to your pain and views of how things are better or should be done. There is little the parents can do if the female who is an adult at this stage made her decision.

What sets our culture apart from other muslims of the east and far east Asians, and arabs is how we are not violent towards women and don't punish them emotionally through dominance that has no basis in Islam.

It doesn't have to be either or. We don't need to resort to honor killings and acid throwing. Parents need to be stronger than to give in to their daughters' wishes if they are bad choices. If you had a daughter and she wanted to go to the mosque to demand a recent cadaan revert, wouldn't that worry you? What would be the odds of that marriage prospering and working out? I want to say zere, not even slim but Zero. The point is, we need to be more responsible as fathers in raise our daughters the right away and making sure to let them know when it comes to marriage, converts and losers in general(somali or not) will not happen.


Somali culture isn't perfect but I am glad it doesn't contain the abuse of women in general.

What @Kaafiye said is right. The root of the problem is the men who are not strong and assertive enough that they'd rather their daughters ruin their lives than to speak up and tell her to sit down. Which is worse? Silencing your daughter and telling her no when she makes a stupid decision, or letting have her way even though you know it is wrong and later seeing her live in a misery or most likely divorced with kids?

 

[Kaafiye]

I like the Somali approach of "let it be" better than the alternative from Pakis which is Honor killing. At least the girl is marrying the nonsomali dude religiously legal and civically.

Somali parents may have gone wrong in not sharing the beauty of their culture and instill in their kids how important marrying your like is. Beyond that a Somali father should not be violent in reaction to his daughter's poor decision. It is not easy to distance yourself from someone who is dear to you and who can not relate to your pain and views of how things are better or should be done. There is little the parents can do if the female who is an adult at this stage made her decision.

What sets our culture apart from other muslims of the east and far east Asians, and arabs is how we are not violent towards women and don't punish them emotionally through dominance that has no basis in Islam.

You're making a false equivalence. It doesn't have to be one or the other, wtf.

I'm glad that Somalis are nothing like Pakistanis in that respect.

 

[Burhan]

It doesn't have to be either or. We don't need to resort to honor killings and acid throwing. Parents need to be stronger than to give in to their daughters' wishes if they are bad choices. If you had a daughter and she wanted to go to the mosque to demand a recent cadaan revert, wouldn't that worry you? What would be the odds of that marriage prospering and working out? I want to say zere, not even slim but Zero. The point is, we need to be more responsible as fathers in raise our daughters the right away and making sure to let them know when it comes to marriage, converts and losers in general(somali or not) will not happen.


Somali culture isn't perfect but I am glad it doesn't contain the abuse of women in general.

What @Kaafiye said is right. The root of the problem is the men who are not strong and assertive enough that they'd rather their daughters ruin their lives than to speak up and tell her to sit down. Which is worse? Silencing your daughter and telling her no when she makes a stupid decision, or letting have her way even though you know it is wrong and later seeing her live in a misery or most likely divorced with kids?

A daughter of mine would know better than to bring anyone other than Somali home. She gets schooled in that before she gets her first period. I would not wait long for the indoctrination. Some reverts spoke against such marriages and one woman who was into that kind of marriage. Misunderstandings due to different upbringing abound in such relationships.

 

[Kaafiye]

It's up on those two individuals. If they want to marry each other, who are we to stop them? Just because they're apart of a different culture/ethnic group from each other isn't relevant. People shouldn't be expected to marry a person from the same ethnic background. People should be expected to marry someone they care about.

Marrying someone "you care about"....when half the time the newly-married couples don't even know each other and are a poor fit for each other. It's one thing if these couples actually had a genuine marriage, it's another thing for someone who has no qualifications and has nothing going for him marrying a Somali girl just because he just converted to Islam 3 months ago and now wants a Somali wife. What do you think happens to these young girls once the marriage has run it's course (on average, 3 to 6 month duration marriage) and now she's divorced?

I'm glad that behavior doesn't really occur in North America, but Euro Somalis really need to get their act together.

 

[Lone Wanderer]

Marrying someone "you care about"....when half the time the newly-married couples don't even know each other and are a poor fit for each other. It's one thing if these couples actually had a genuine marriage, it's another thing for someone who has no qualifications and has nothing going for him marrying a Somali girl just because he just converted to Islam 3 months ago and now wants a Somali wife. What do you think happens to these young girls once the marriage has run it's course (on average, 3 to 6 month duration marriage) and now she's divorced?

I'm glad that behavior doesn't really occur in North America, but Euro Somalis really need to get their act together.

Maybe we should get rid of the Taboo of letting a man and a women get to know each other for an extended period. Most people need to know that they have to know each other more than a couple of visits and a parent in the room with them.

 

[Kaafiye]

What @Kaafiye said is right. The root of the problem is the men who are not strong and assertive enough that they'd rather their daughters ruin their lives than to speak up and tell her to sit down. Which is worse? Silencing your daughter and telling her no when she makes a stupid decision, or letting have her way even though you know it is wrong and later seeing her live in a misery or most likely divorced with kids?

Exactly. These guys are forgetting that fathers are somehow not allowed to look out for the best interests of their kids. Would you wanna risk the high possibility that your daughter would end up divorced with children? The xayawaan foreigners who marry Somali girls and divorce them at a whim can just move on with his life and never really have to see her again. But the girl's family is gonna be the ones who have to pick up the pieces and try to help her get back on her feet.

 

[Kaafiye]

Maybe we should get rid of the Taboo of letting a man and a women get to know each other for an extended period. Most people need to know that they have to know each other more than a couple of visits and a parent in the room with them.

If you think that stuff is taboo in North America, then you need to get out the house saaxib. Almost every single Somali couple I know met through friends and they got to know each other in a normal setting before hooking up and getting married. Maybe it's a little different over in Europe, where reverts can just "sign up" at the mosque and have a Somali wife assigned to them.

Euro Somalis need to hold this L.

 

[Lone Wanderer]

If you think that stuff is taboo in North America, then you need to get out the house saaxib. Almost every single Somali couple I know met through friends and they got to know each other in a normal setting before hooking up and getting married. Maybe it's a little different over in Europe, where reverts can just "sign up" at the mosque and have a Somali wife assigned to them.

Euro Somalis need to hold this L.

You do know that my original comment was agreeing with you, right?

 

[Prince of Lasanod]

Imagine your so called revert husband is getting a second wife because he thinks that's his right. Wadno xanun you are on your own, and there will be no Somali elder meeting to discourage him. So Better to stick to Somalis. A revert can leave you and your kids.

It is his right as a Muslim. Somalis also marry second, third and fourth wives too. The more the merrier!

 

[ChickenOriental]

A simple google effort of "Somali Sisters, Ummah Forum" produced a link, and in the first page-thread, all kinds of non-somalis were negatively commenting including one who said Somali girls dress in modest hijab but are bad in private. How does he know? Stranger yet enough some no brainer dude relates how some Somali idiot told him he is okay with non-somalis marrying Somali women from his family but not allowing those same women to marry a Somali tribe different from his.

You took this topic personal and you should not. You also confuse two issues, one larger than the other. The kinship Somalis feel towards each other, and the choices some young and adult Somali females make for themselves, to which most Somalis disagree with because of how they see themselves as better and for each other. Many ethnic groups and races see themselves that way, so Somalis are not alone.

By all means, any woman who wants to marry a non-Muslim, a Muslim, that is her prerogative. One thing that same woman can not question is the right of Somalis to despise such marriages. Or that same woman going around and maligning Somalis for her choice no one else approves of.


You can read the comments below here.


http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?242715-Calling-Out-to-All-Somalis

That thread is filled with posts ranging from mild back-handed compliments to straight up insults. And here is me thinking the Somali-bashing was a relatively new phenomenon. Waa wax dhintay.