Types of Somali Guys

[Sophisticate]

shes in her 30s and a mother but that's all you

I'm not a mother. I've never been married. How dare you? I pride myself on being single with zero mileage.

 

[xisaabiye]

shes in her 30s and a mother but that's all you

Then we're both 80s babies

@sophisticate you were on here for awhile but I don't remember you, is your nick different. My old name was @aldhoobe then @Suxuufi. Barasho wanaagsan

 

[Sophisticate]

Then we're both 80s babies

@sophisticate you were on here for awhile but I don't remember you, is your nick different. My old name was @aldhoobe then @Suxuufi. Barasho wanaagsan

It's just sophisticate. The brothers have taken a beating, lately. They need some upliftment. :siilaanyosmile:

 

[NotMyL]

You haven't met a normal Somali man? Where is your father dear?

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[Ferrari]

Maybe you're looking a little too hard at the bad apples (corner boys, ex-cons, salafis and self-haters). The world is larger than these types. Nice boys that are self-aware and well-adjusted do exist among Somalis.

maybe she's attracting guys who are exactly like her.

 

[Jodeci]

Maybe you're looking a little too hard at the bad apples (corner boys, ex-cons, salafis and self-haters). The world is larger than these types. Nice boys that are self-aware and well-adjusted do exist among Somalis.

Where?

 

[Jodeci]

maybe she's attracting guys who are exactly like her.

I didn't choose the thug life , the thug life choose me

Actually though, all I see is losers, I wondered where the normal somali guys are

 

[Jodeci]

You haven't met a normal Somali man? Where is your father dear?

Spoiler

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He's at the store

 

[Jodeci]

The University Beta is the best bet
Can't decide what's worse though...the Loser, or Abu Jihad?

Loser for sure,

Abu Jihad will at least give you two apples , Loser will offer you the top bunk in his bunkbed at his hoyos house

 

[Jodeci]

:siilaanyolaugh:


Wadaadka: This is the ultra-conservative guy who dons khamis that barely go down the knees and white socks and kufiya. He’s always with the “brothers” going to some lectures studying some mutoon like Aqeedah at-Tahawiyyah or Sarf. His sunnan are on fleek, he’s applied to Islamic University of Madinah half a dozen times and has meetings with prospective wives who he ends up turning down for something trivial like not having completed the hifd of the Qur’an or for studying in university. He’s a high ranking haraam officer and he lashes out at “sisters” any chance he gets. Lower your gaze! Wear your hijaab right! Don’t laugh! He’s a closeted sadistic sociopath who revels in the amount of control he exerts. This type can either be an ISIS/al-Shabaab supporter OR the Salafi type who are staunchly opposed to extremism. However, when he’s alone in his room at night, he’s not so wadaad-like. He’s probably sexting girls and doing his haraam patrol in the same breath.

Sahan Journal

2. Anti-feminist misogynist: This is the super insecure dunce whose every statement reeks of misogyny. He got his frail ego bruised by a girl in his teens and he’s been overcompensating for that ever since by putting every woman who bears resemblance to that girl in her place. In his books there are only two type of women: wifey-material and bossy es.

3. Pseudo-intellectual anti-Arab:He went to study liberal arts and while on campus met pan-Africanists who were passionate and outspoken and he thought holy cow…whatever they’re having, give me!!! He spends his days dreaming of being the Somali Kwame Nkrumah and hanging out with his sisters, the social justice warriors and together they bash everything Arab and White.

4. The tortured artist: He’s always been on the straight and narrow, studied business in college with a minor in political science in a bid to join the ranks of the Nkrumahs but they proved to be too intense for him. He’s a momma’s boy, he prays his five, occasionally hangs out with the boys. He’s a budding artist who draws impeccably and writes poems that are out of this world. He keeps his creative talent all to himself is unassuming because he struggles with low confidence and doesn’t see what a good man he is.

5. Reformed bad boy: This kid dropped out of high school, got busted by the cops half a dozen times, did every drug on the market and was shipped to Galkacyo for dhaqan celis, his passport confiscated by his dad. He got married to a local girl who bore three kids for him and surprisingly enough he mellowed because he matured and his kids got a special place in his heart. He gets back to the West and starts hustling for his family back home, and is the success story mothers use as incentive to ship their wild ones, not knowing why he truly changed.

6. Nerd: This kid hangs out with cadaan because they are the only ones who get his love for tech gadgets, coding, and World of Warcraft. He’s the quintessential awkward nerd who knows as much about girls as he does makeup and he spends his time prowling on 9gag with forever alone rants. He’s secretly atheist because all his friends are and he just wants to conform.

7. The Somali Donald Trump:Unlike the pseudo-intellectual, this guy got little going on cerebrally. He applied to the Ivy Leagues/Oxbridge purely for the prestige and got rejected, flunked his SATs/ A-Levels and went to Eastern Europe or China to study medicine, not because he likes it but again, because of the prestige. He’s involved with all types of organizations and his Twitter feed is awash with Tony Robbins quotes and excerpts from books like Think and Grow Rich and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He’s headed everywhere but goes nowhere, which is why he’s so loud and obnoxious.

8. Control freak: He’s buff with big guns he’s honed at the gym, a loaded bank account, a wicked ride and a very controlling nature. He’s like the Venus flytrap; the sorry soul who walks into his life will not get out with their confidence intact. He usually goes for the insecure girl with daddy issues and that’s the end of it.

9. Don Jama: He’s emotionally unavailable and girl flock to him like moths to a flame, and he doesn’t hesitate to watch them BURN. Every girl thinks she’ll be the one who’d make him change his ways and put a ring on it, and he entertains their wishful thinking if only to take advantage of them for the moment. Whenever they get frustrated with his emotional numbness, he does a small romantic gesture that jolts the heart of the relationship alive until next time. Once karma is done with him, he’ll be a fugly hobo on ceyr, a shaah belly and a serious devotion to chewing the greens.

10. Nice guys finish last: This guy is the complete opposite of control freak. He’s obsessive, clingy, and insecure. He’s codependent and showers girls with compliments and favors to hook them in emotionally. He doesn’t love himself and finds the prospect weird, and so he places that burden on a romantic interest which is toxic and unhealthy. So when it fails, he acts a victim and laments that nice guys finish last and all girls are es who want to be mistreated.

11. The Elitist Snob: He’s a literature buff who works a second job to be able to buy the complete Shakespeare collection. He’s a fine arts aficionado and museums and libraries are his safe haven. Go through his music collection and you’ll be met with titles like “Night on Bald Mountain” by Modest Mussorgsky and “Serenade in G Major” by Mozart. He’s is deeply ashamed of Somalis and is one of those progressive Muslims.

This definitely wasn't copy pasted right , how original of you to write all this

 

[Sophisticate]

maybe she's attracting guys who are exactly like her.

What if you have universal Farax appeal?

 

[Jodeci]

What if you have universal Farax appeal?

right?

Spoiler: you wont believe this but

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I think its cause im light skin

 

[Sophisticate]

right?

Spoiler: you wont believe this but

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I think its cause im light skin

That better not be the only reason.

I'm sort of funny and mildly underweight, too. Meoooow!

 

[lone]

This definitely wasn't copy pasted right , how original of you to write all this

copy & pasted. No time to write a whole essay.

 

[Ubax45_]

Welcome back @Jodeci

 

[Jodeci]

Welcome back @Jodeci

welcome back lol from where

 

[TSP]

Welcome back @Jodeci

Wait what?

 

[Ubax45_]

welcome back lol from where

 

[Jodeci]

did we meet at chuckie cheeses? or on dhaqan ceelis

 

[Arma]

Take away a lot of these naccas'yalls online anonymity= you'll get the most, friendliest, kindest, tolerant, non-qabiliste, miskeen, religious, Somali guy on the planet.

You've probably heard of the phrase, "cocaines a helluva drug"......well I say, "internet anonymity is a helluva drug"
And it sure is.

People need to stop hiding behind these fake internet personas, they've created to escape from their real sad little lives.

Shidh, I've probably shared soo much info about myself, in the form of pics and descriptive posts, that you can put a hit on me on the dark web, and I'll probably be found with a hole on my head, floating on the English Channel. But, me no gives a flying f*ck. What you see of me on this forum, is 100% what you get in real life: i dislike certain clans, I'm a qabilist and I hate Timo Jelecs ( I got called up to HR at work last week, due to an offensive comment I made towards Pakis on Facebook)