The secret to long threads by Lola, Saar and Zailah

[embarassing]

119 pages

 

[Zailah]

I know what I'm doing mudane @DuctTape will get this to the hall of fame section

Still shirking your responsibility. Disrespectful

 

[TSP]

Still shirking your responsibility. Disrespectful

I can't win with you can I

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

I thought you grew up in the States since you were 13 illegally. Your stories aren’t adding up

Don't recall saying anything 'bout my age when I disembarked from the precarious raft that sailed from the shores of Bosaaso.

 

[Zailah]

I can't win with you can I

Nope

Now sit down and get this shaax culuul down you and contribute

 

[DuctTape]

Don't recall saying anything 'bout my age when I disembarked from the precarious raft that sailed from the shores of Bosaaso.

You are clearly memeing on us rn adeer, half of your comments are far too well written to be written by someone of your background, plus your stories don't add up

 

[Bohol]

We can do that

@Bohol what can we do to earn this thread a sticky thread

You can be my second wife.

 

[Zailah]

Don't recall saying anything 'bout my age when I disembarked from the precarious raft that sailed from the shores of Bosaaso.

I believe you did when you were complaining at the lack of passport wielding ladies

 

[Zailah]

You can be my second wife.

Live in or the distant one who gets paid

Who’d be the first wife if I said yes

 

[DuctTape]

You're a elite saaxiib bashaal

A true shitposter never rests
With mudane @government's death I have become truly complacent.
Combine that with the fact that users I get along with like @TSP don't contribute a whole lot nowadays, and I feel like an old man out of my depth when all these new users are posting about shit we discussed six months ago as if it's the first time it's happened

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

I believe you did when you were complaining at the lack of passport wielding ladies

Proof, or I didn't say it.

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

You are clearly memeing on us rn adeer, half of your comments are far too well written to be written by someone of your background, plus your stories don't add up

I dictate my comments to my shemale companion. She is a very good stenographer.

Stories are not meant to add up habibi. Only numbers are. Stories just have to rhyme.

 

[DuctTape]

I dictate my comments to my shemale companion. She is a very good stenographer.

Stories are not meant to add up habibi. Only numbers are. Stories just have to rhyme.

Is this companion @Steamdevolopment, perhaps?

 

[Bohol]

Live in or the distant one who gets paid

Who’d be the first wife if I said yes

I would visit you for 3 days and the other 4 days is for the 1st wife. She is not a SS user.

 

[GlitzyCue_]

A true shitposter never rests
With mudane @government's death I have become truly complacent.
Combine that with the fact that users I get along with like @TSP don't contribute a whole lot nowadays, and I feel like an old man out of my depth when all these new users are posting about shit we discussed six months ago as if it's the first time it's happened

You make it sound so depressing
And here I wanted to follow in your footsteps

 

[Bidaar Wanagsan]

Is this companion @Steamdevolopment, perhaps?

No Steam is too butch for me. She's a dominatrix. I like my playmates a bit more feminine with the exception of the dangling sixth finger.

 

[Zailah]

Proof, or I didn't say it.

As some of you may know I'm not a naturalized citizen. I've been having some problems lately with my legal status. I wish I didn't lie on my immigration form. I said I was 19 at the time but my glorious bidaar from which light bounces off like a trampoline told another story. I tried to disguise it with a combover, but the massive forehead betrayed me.

Let's be honest though: What Somali has not lied on his asylum claim? So don't act all superior now. I was served my deportation papers last month. I feel like ratting out all these fake refugees who clambered aboard that precarious raft with me on the shores of Bosaaso all those years ago. Any number of them could get me out of this jam by giving me his daughter's hand in marriage, and Mr Wanagsan would be flashing his spanking new EU passport in no time flat, but they claim it's not from them opposition comes, but that as much as they would like to help their Darood brother in his hour of need, their little girls don't find my Barkhad Abdi looks appealing. That's what counts for walaalinimo around here.

I hate young people who are born in the West and have never milked a cow or seen a camel give new meaning to the word hump when in female company; they are spoiled rotten and remind me of a poem we used to recite in Kismayo back when Somalia was the Switzerland of the Horn: wallee waa dad qooqan / kibir sanka u saaran / edeb iyo dhagan celis u baahan.

But it's times like this when I resent having slithered out of the womb during the era of our beloved Siyaad Barre. Life as a failed asylum seeker is not what it could be. Twice I had immigration officers raid my house, but I managed to climb out of the bathroom window just in the nick of time wearing only my leopard print kastuumo I got as a Valentine's from a beauty who found someone better looking and better smelling. My elderly white neighbours were in for quite a surprise when they saw a nekkid African hop over their garden fence with the eagerness of a jihadist at a Yazidi bride market. Alxamdulilah, the malaaika are looking out for me.

Another time I was chased clear across town by two kafir officers who wanted to give me a free helicopter ride to sunny climes. I dropped my groceries in the carpark and took off as soon as I clapped eyes on the merciless goons. The one good thing about my looks is that I'm slim. My pursuers were burly and musclebound, but they were not as fleet footed as I am. Even though I've slowed with age, the miracle is that I could outrun these two fit twentysomethings, proof that Allah, the most high and the most compassionate, can work miracles if you ever needed one.

After I zigzagged my way out of one dark alley after another and left them trailing in the dust, I heard the black one yell "Stop! We just wanna talk." I said "talk to your sister. She's carrying my baby." For some reason that did not endear me to them.

So here's my question. Would you marry someone to allow them to stay in the country? Let's face it, all your mothers and fathers, your uncles and aunts, all the folks who came to the West in the post 1991 exodus have forged papers. Any one of them could be busted tomorrow. Don't we need a collective insurance policy against snitches like the who reported me to the police after we had a bad romance?

This could be you in the dock tomorrow. Hell, I would even marry a fag just to stay. If the highest elected Somali in the US can marry her own brother for a green card and still be the object of reverence whilst in the throes of matrimonial incest, surely one of you tender hearted fellas can let me put a ring on your hairy finger.

Ok, 19. A few years off but still not a legal adult

Lakin you seem to like to be called an adeer by now so you can’t have fled the war and still be in ESL classes

 

[DuctTape]

You make it sound so depressing
And here I wanted to follow in your footsteps

Hopefully you will be able to retrace my steps and shine greater than I ever could, my child
Do it for me

 

[TSP]

A true shitposter never rests
With mudane @government's death I have become truly complacent.
Combine that with the fact that users I get along with like @TSP don't contribute a whole lot nowadays, and I feel like an old man out of my depth when all these new users are posting about shit we discussed six months ago as if it's the first time it's happened

Did @TooMacaan abduct government and leave him for dead in her BDSM kingdom? I heard she's stocking up on some magic to take down you and @shanqale

 

[GlitzyCue_]

I would visit you for 3 days and the other 4 days is for the 1st wife. She is not a SS user.

3 days only
@Zailah
I have a better option for you
Let's ask @AbdiJew what's his demands are