The rise of the 30 year old never been married before halimos

[waraabe]

At 30 they are ripe

 

[Ubax45_]

Well it is your lot that tries to convince us that majority of Somali women in the west are successful and have a career, then how come
they are ending up with losers? The puzzle doesn't fit. It is two things.


1. Either your lot are lying

2. Or successful men don't want them

Everyone's reality is based on the types of people they surround themselves with.

 

[Bohol]

Everyone's reality is based on the types of people they surround themselves with.

Well lets see more halimos marrying doctors and engineers then since apparently they
are so "successful", I am sure there is few successful doctors in their work places. Mise
halimo definition of success is working in 9-5 jobs.


:siilaanyosmile:

 

[Ubax45_]

Well lets see more halimos marrying more doctors and engineers then since apparently they are so "successful", I am sure there is
few successful doctors in their work places.


:siilaanyosmile:

You're salty about interracial marriages. Most will end up finding successful Somali men from Middle East, Africa, South East Asia...etc that actually have intelligence, dhaqan & sharaf.

 

[Bohol]

You're salty about interracial marriages. Most will end up finding successful Somali men from Middle East, Africa, South East Asia...etc that actually have intelligence, dhaqan & sharaf.

Truth hurts.

 

[Burhan]

I think its great as long as both individuals are mature. I have many family members who married early 20's, still finished school, have good jobs..etc. but not everyone's destiny is the same. I actually support young marriages but I'm against putting down individuals who haven't been able to get married.

Indeed not everyone's destiny is similar to others and people go through different experiences in life. I think most people in this thread mentioned the odds against women who stay unmarried for too long because of studies they had to do. If women can find accommodating options, they should not delay marrying for the sake of finishing university. And we should not blame women who opted out of marriage as long as they don't blame society for any misfortune that befalls on their life. I think that is what some are arguing in this thread. All points are valid.

 

[Ubax45_]

Indeed not everyone's destiny is similar to others and people go through different experiences in life. I think most people in this thread mentioned the odds against women who stay unmarried for too long because of studies they had to do. If women can find accommodating options, they should not delay marrying for the sake of finishing university. And we should not blame women who opted out of marriage as long as they don't blame society for any misfortune that befalls on their life. I think that is what some are arguing in this thread. All points are valid.

Do you think the context of the western Somali community is similar to other immigrant communities in regards to the number of suitable men vs. women?

 

[gurey]

I agree. If a old nicca like Dr Habeeb can get a cute looking 21 year old, there is no way I will settle for a 30 year old.

I intend on supporting the somali over 28 female marriage industry. Sxb its not good to be boastful at their mistakes and sometimes stupidity.

Every girl that I have spoken to that older than me was extremely intelligent and educated. Infact id say over educated.

 

[SIR-RIGHTEOUS]

I intend on supporting the somali over 28 female marriage industry. Sxb its not good to be boastful at their mistakes and sometimes stupidity.

Every girl that I have spoken to that older than me was extremely intelligent and educated. Infact id say over educated.

What mistake?

Some people are not meant to get married early in life. There is such as thing as qadar, istikharah etc.
Some of the comments being made in this topic are blasphemous.

 

[gurey]

What mistake?
Some people are not meant to get married early in life. There is such as thing as qadar, istikharah etc.
Some of the comments being made in this topic are blasphemous.

True..

 

[Burhan]

Do you think the context of the western Somali community is similar to other immigrant communities in regards to the number of suitable men vs. women?

It depends on the definition of suitable. It can be subjective. Most Somali males don't say a Somali woman has to have a degree in order for them to get married to them. This is what gives the males in our community some more opportunities than women who set up a condition of educational level and income for them to get married. Granted these woman have every right to make those choices, then it is easy to see how some of them may not find a Somali man who meets their requirements. That is where I think the problem comes in. Would a Somali female doctor marry a truck driver who is decent and caring? Would she give him a chance at all if he was interested in her for who she was and not what she studied? Some might but I am not most would.

It is give and take in life and whilst we bargain for better partners and things, we should also be wise in setting up reasonable expectations. Also, there is no issue with these educated women marrying into other Islamic communities if they can not find Somali doctors, engineers, pilots, lawyers etc. If that is what they are exclusively looking for. I don't think any reasonable person would argue the low for Somali men are so low that you can not find someone capable of taking care of a family.

I sometimes wonder whatever happened to plain old love and wanting to marry a particular person because they made you happy and you fell in love with them?

We all bought into the life of plenty and income based class in the US. The result out of that is the same:- More women looking for men to marry but men who are available are unqualified. This problem plagues all women from all communities who live in well to do countries.

Most men prefer to work and they are practical beings. They would rather sweat and toil the land than sit in class and listen to some professor yap about something These men can do men's work and can take care of a woman, but women are setting up unreasonable conditions to be met. It is not easy out there.

 

[SIR-RIGHTEOUS]

It depends on the definition of suitable. It can be subjective. Most Somali males don't say a Somali woman has to have a degree in order for them to get married to them. This is what gives the males in our community some more opportunities than women who set up a condition of educational level and income for them to get married. Granted these woman have every right to make those choices, then it is easy to see how some of them may not find a Somali man who meets their requirements. That is where I think the problem comes in. Would a Somali female doctor marry a truck driver who is decent and caring? Would she give him a chance at all if he was interested in her for who she was and not what she studied? Some might but I am not most would.

It is give and take in life and whilst we bargain for better partners and things, we should also be wise in setting up reasonable expectations. Also, there is no issue with these educated women marrying into other Islamic communities if they can not find Somali doctors, engineers, pilots, lawyers etc. If that is what they are exclusively looking for. I don't think any reasonable person would argue the low for Somali men are so low that you can not find someone capable of taking care of a family.

I sometimes wonder whatever happened to plain old love and wanting to marry a particular person because they made you happy and you fell in love with them?

We all bought into the life of plenty and income based class in the US. The result out of that is the same:- More women looking for men to marry but men who are available are unqualified. This problem plagues all women from all communities who live in well to do countries.

Most men prefer to work and they are practical beings. They would rather sweat and toil the land than sit in class and listen to some professor yap about something These men can do men's work and can take care of a woman, but women are setting up unreasonable conditions to be met. It is not easy out there.

Love does not pay the bills.
Furthermore, most Somali women admit that they force themselves to listen to some professor yap about something because she wants a good future.
Even though it's not her place to provide for herself. Having a university level education shows that a person is disciplined, organised and has at least above average intelligence. Aren't these traits to seek in a spouse? Recent studies suggest that Intelligence is inherited mostly from the maternal line, which means faaraxs need to hunt down these so-called "old" xaliimos.

The man should be the main provider, if he does not have the discipline to force himself to compete with his peers academically, then shouldn't he be classed a failure?

Granted, not everyone is academically inclined, in that case, should we not see Somali men opening up businesses ? Or toiling hard like Eastern Europeans working long shifts to stack money?

Unfortunately, we are mostly seeing Somali men who are happy to do the bare minimum in their personal and professional lives. Do they deserve a wife? Sure; but what kind of example is he setting for his children, who are most likely being raised by the state's welfare system.

The vicious cycle of mediocrity must be broken. As men it is our duty to NOT make excuses for those of us who are failing in life.

 

[Coulombs law]

Honestly we can sit here all day and discuss the problem hanging around Somali men, but a more correct approach would be is to discuss solutions and tackle the root of the issue.

The problem usually starts at home, careless parents and what not, at this point it boils down to the eldest child and responsibility now lies on his/her shoulders. Control your own siblings and make sure they are on the straight path before you spout "somali men aint shit" and "somali women are cheap and clean"

If your family is fully functioning and you guys are all well off, now give back to the community and tackle the issue that stems in the somali community.
Somali Women are light years ahead of Somali men in not only Education but in terms of giving back to the community. All the fundraising, Community meetings, Aid Campaigns, etc. are handled by Somali women and you will not see any Faraax involved in these projects. Its not enough for you to say "Not me and my family" go use your talents to help out those that aren't at the same level/aren't as fortunate as you, everyone has something to offer.

We honestly need to work together rather then attacking each other and keep regurgitating the same old Somali women are better than the Somali men, because that won't solve any issues and it further deepens the rift and adds fuel to the raging animosity that is already burning.

 

[Burhan]

Love does not pay the bills.
Furthermore, most Somali women admit that they force themselves to listen to some professor yap about something because she wants a good future.
Even though it's not her place to provide for herself. Having a university level education shows that a person is disciplined, organised and has at least above average intelligence. Aren't these traits to seek in a spouse? Recent studies suggest that Intelligence is inherited mostly from the maternal line, which means faaraxs need to hunt down these so-called "old" xaliimos.

The man should be the main provider, if he does not have the discipline to force himself to compete with his peers academically, then shouldn't he be classed a failure?

Granted, not everyone is academically inclined, in that case, should we not see Somali men opening up businesses ? Or toiling hard like Eastern Europeans working long shifts to stack money?

Unfortunately, we are mostly seeing Somali men who are happy to do the bare minimum in their personal and professional lives. Do they deserve a wife? Sure; but what kind of example is he setting for his children, who are most likely being raised by the state's welfare system.

The vicious cycle of mediocrity must be broken. As men it is our duty to NOT make excuses for those of us who are failing in life.

While love does not pay the bills, it enables you to see something about the woman you would have ignored if you focused only on her wealth/income and education. Same goes for females, they would miss what is crucial in a partner she intends to keep for life if the focus and the worth of the man came solely from how much money he makes etc.. Beyond THIS, it is important for men and women to get educated in the west for the opportunities that come with it. Good income makes life manageable and easier to deal with. But that is not everything about someone.

Also, I am not sure earning a degree fully explains someone's intellect. Donald Trump has an economics degree from Yale I think if I am not mistaken. That school won't get my acceptance now if they sent me a scholarship.

 

[SIR-RIGHTEOUS]

While love does not pay the bills, it enables you to see something about the woman you would have ignored if you focused only on her wealth/income and education. Same goes for females, they would miss what is crucial in a partner she intends to keep for life if the focus and the worth of the man came solely from how much money he makes etc.. Beyond THIS, it is important for men and women to get educated in the west for the opportunities that come with it. Good income makes life manageable and easier to deal with. But that is not everything about someone.

Also, I am not sure earning a degree fully explains someone's intellect. Donald Trump has an economics degree from Yale I think if I am not mistaken. That school won't get my acceptance now if they sent me a scholarship.

There are two respectable paths for a man: money via education or HARD work. If you can't deliver via one of these means, I'm sure we can agree that we wouldn't want our female relatives to be saddled with such a person.

 

[GodKnowsBest]

I am amused at men poking fun at Somali women who can't find suitable spouses.

You do realise that the situation is only going to get worse as women outnumber men, Somali women are harder working, smarter and more mentally prepared to deal with the West-- meanwhile A LOT of their male counterparts are mentally inept.

Your daughters may face an even worse situation. Instead of making inappropriate jokes, maybe you should think about how to encourage young boys to study, work hard and become MEN.

Otherwise, your daughters may be forced to become someone's 4th wife or settle for a man you do not respect.

Just a thought

Naw, I'm just going to marry a White guy.

 

[SIR-RIGHTEOUS]

Honestly we can sit here all day and discuss the problem hanging around Somali men, but a more correct approach would be is to discuss solutions and tackle the root of the issue.

The problem usually starts at home, careless parents and what not, at this point it boils down to the eldest child and responsibility now lies on his/her shoulders. Control your own siblings and make sure they are on the straight path before you spout "somali men aint shit" and "somali women are cheap and clean"

If your family is fully functioning and you guys are all well off, now give back to the community and tackle the issue that stems in the somali community.
Somali Women are light years ahead of Somali men in not only Education but in terms of giving back to the community. All the fundraising, Community meetings, Aid Campaigns, etc. are handled by Somali women and you will not see any Faraax involved in these projects. Its not enough for you to say "Not me and my family" go use your talents to help out those that aren't at the same level/aren't as fortunate as you, everyone has something to offer.

We honestly need to work together rather then attacking each other and keep regurgitating the same old Somali women are better than the Somali men, because that won't solve any issues and it further deepens the rift and adds fuel to the raging animosity that is already burning.

I agree.

We need to positively reinforce our young boys so that they become responsible men. As for those who have already reached adulthood, they must be taught that it is never too late to change.

Whilst it may not be a good thing to keep discussing the negative traits of SOME Somali men, at least we recognise the problems.

 

[Burhan]

There are two respectable paths for a man: money via education or HARD work. If you can't deliver via one of these means, I'm sure we can agree that we wouldn't want our female relatives to be saddled with such a person.

Of course, a man who doesn't work should not marry at all. And my focus in the earlier long post was how "Hard Work" ethics is not enough for some and they tend to focus on how much money and what degree does a man hold.

Life is about making compromises, there is no one set of solutions but many and we should be pragmatic.

 

[Xaagi-Cagmadigtee]

Marrying an albino is not the antidote to stability in marriage, quite the contrary in fact. Better than 50-50 end up in a nasty, acrimonious divorce...check the stats.

Horta, why do you girls advertise about an imaginary white, Asian or others on this forum. How many Faraxs go to that length, virtually none. In the event you marry out, just don't bring your mutts back home. Sure as hell I would call them adeer or abti.

 

[nadia]

Whats wrong with marrying a 30 year old woman that is sucessful looks youthful and pretty? 30 is still young you guys are making it seem 30 is near to your grave not long ago 20 was seen as very old especially in the 70s and look at how people in their early 20s behave no difference to a teenager.