The rise of the 30 year old never been married before halimos

[GodKnowsBest]

That's right.

Even those parents who try to raise their children have fallen prey to sexist habits that have turned Somali boys into useless men. They RAISE their daughters but expect their overgrown babies (sons) to become a man who leads another household. He will continue the same cycle and raise more useless boys. Most Somali "men" can't even boil water to cook pasta. Subhanallah. What happens if his wife drops dead?
Who will raise his children.


Until Somali parents learn to RAISE both genders in a similar fashion, we are DOOMED.

Preach. My dad tried fixing this cycle by attempting to send my brothers to the military but my mother refused and now they have become useless. The most disciplined men I know weren't treated differently than their sisters. My father knows how to cook (might I say) better than my mom! He was raised with discipline, sent to boarding school, taught with great principles and held to high standards. The Somali fathers have become pushovers to their wives allowing the women to do all the rearing towards the boys without interfering which has resulted in sissy, omega males. I don't want my children to be beat, I want them to be raised well, but I will not interfere with the way my husband treats our children so long as it's not abuse.

 

[GodKnowsBest]

Some women cannot have children. Neither can some men. Allah knows what is best for every person. Self-worth and purpose is not defined by fertility.
Ultimately, ALLAH provides love and warmth. Not some child who can turn into your biggest nightmare.

God says otherwise. Be fruitful and multiply.

 

[Bohol]

Some women cannot have children. Neither can some men. Allah knows what is best for every person. Self-worth and purpose is not defined by fertility.
Ultimately, ALLAH provides love and warmth. Not some child who can turn into your biggest nightmare.

Even those women atleast have a husband. Reality is majority of women can't live without children, their first prime instinct and
purpose in this world is to be a mother.

 

[SIR-RIGHTEOUS]

Preach. My dad tried fixing this cycle by attempting to send my brothers to the military but my mother refused and now they have become useless. The most disciplined men I know weren't treated differently than their sisters. My father knows how to cook (might I say) better than my mom! He was raised with discipline, sent to boarding school, taught with great principles and held to high standards. The Somali fathers have become pushovers to their wives allowing the women to do all the rearing towards the boys without interfering which has resulted in sissy, omega males. I don't want my children to be beat, I want them to be raised well, but I will not interfere with the way my husband treats our children so long as it's not abuse.

That's right, at some stage, men have to raise their sons and set an example and women have to set an example for their daughters.
Therein lies the beauty of nature.

The prophet SAW, took part in household chores and he was the leader of the UMMAH. I cannot respect a man who is scared of the kitchen or thinks he is above cleaning after himself.
It is a sign of discipline and organisation and it extends to the professional sphere.

 

[SIR-RIGHTEOUS]

Even those women atleast have a husband. Reality is majority of women can't live without children, their first prime instinct and
purpose in this world is to be a mother.

What about those who have never gotten married? Of both genders?
Or those who lost their spouses and or children, is their life suddenly without meaning?

It is wrong to suggest that our prime purpose in life is to breed.
It is to WORSHIP ALLAH saaxiib, that's our number goal. Everything else is a bonus.

 

[SIR-RIGHTEOUS]

God says otherwise. Be fruitful and multiply.

Yes, but there are people who are infertile, both men and women. Are they suddenly useless?
Of course, you try your best, but if you cannot, you should have patience and realise that there is more to life: such as not going to hellfire.

 

[Bohol]

What about those who have never gotten married? Of both genders?
Or those who lost their spouses, is their life suddenly without meaning?

It is wrong to suggest that our prime purpose in life is to breed.
It is to WORSHIP ALLAH saaxiib, that's our number goal. Everything else is a bonus.

The same applies to both genders, it is a lonely sad path. Women were created from a man's limp (Adam) for a reason and that
is to complete each other. Plus the deen clearly says marriage is half of the deen. So nature, science and deen all agree
on that matter. Suggesting it is normal for a woman to be unmarried and childless forever is like condemning them to a life in solitary
confinement IMO.

 

[SIR-RIGHTEOUS]

The same applies to both genders, it is a lonely sad path. Women were created from a man's limp (Adam) for a reason and that
is to complete each other. Plus the deen clearly says marriage is half of the deen. So nature, science and deen all agree
on that matter. Suggesting that it is fine for woman to be unmarried forever is like condemning them to a life in solitary
confinement IMO.

I think whatever is predestined is fine. Some women/men try their best but somehow marriage/children evades them.
Life is not as simple as we wish it to be. If you are married and fertile, say Alhamdulilah.

Let us not try to shame those who are tested like this or make it seem like they are somehow "faulty" or strange.

When you have Allah, you do not have to fear sadness or loneliness.

 

[Bohol]

I think whatever is predestined is fine. Some women/men try their best but somehow marriage/children evades them.
Life is not as simple as we wish it to be. If you are married and fertile, say Alhamdulilah.

Let us not try to shame those who are tested like this or make it seem like they are somehow "faulty" or strange.

When you have Allah, you do not have to fear sadness or loneliness.

I agree it is not good to shame but we are talking about the reality. That is what the topic is about, many of those 30 year old females
will obviously find it hard to find partners at that age due to cultural, academic and other obstacles.

 

[GodKnowsBest]

Here's my final say on this topic.

I agree with all of you guys:

Marriage and children is a necessity

however,

Women should never reduce themselves for men.

At the end of the day, if Somali men cannot meet Somali women's standards and they're reaching older age and they want to get married, marry out or live forever in regret. I have never contemplated marrying a Somali man just for the sake of marrying Somali men and I have never questioned my decisions. Your culture should never come at the expense of your well living, your morals and principles should however good morals and principles never interfere with mankind's well being. As a Christian, I have never been introduced to Christian doctrine that goes against my well-being and for that I say Amen and praise the Lord. I cannot say the same for Islam.

 

[Burhan]

Here's my final say on this topic.

I agree with all of you guys:

Marriage and children is a necessity

however,

Women should never reduce themselves for men.

At the end of the day, if Somali men cannot meet Somali women's standards and they're reaching older age and they want to get married, marry out or live forever in regret. I have never contemplated marrying a Somali man just for the sake of marrying Somali men and I have never questioned my decisions. Your culture should never come at the expense of your well living, your morals and principles should however good morals and principles never interfere with mankind's well being. As a Christian, I have never been introduced to Christian doctrine that goes against my well-being and for that I say Amen and praise the Lord. I cannot say the same for Islam.

It is wrong for you to marry a Somali muslim anyway, so you are good. And don't get started on Islam vs Christianity lest you end up regretting your comments.

You can not define who you worship much less compare the two religions. If you are here to invite people to your polytheism, open a thread and be ready to defend what you believe in. Otherwise, keep ISLAM out of your comments unless you are ready to go all the way.

 

[Ubax45_]

The same applies to both genders, it is a lonely sad path. Women were created from a man's limp (Adam) for a reason and that
is to complete each other. Plus the deen clearly says marriage is half of the deen. So nature, science and deen all agree
on that matter. Suggesting it is normal for a woman to be unmarried and childless forever is like condemning them to a life in solitary
confinement IMO.

No one is saying its normal but a lot of responses on here are akin to what men say when their rejected for being unworthy, they threaten women with a life of solitude. Using fear tactics doesn't work, most women if they come across someone that is decent will get married, with these kind of scare tactics used within Somali culture people end up having children with losers.

 

[Bohol]

No one is saying its normal but a lot of responses on here are akin to what men say when their rejected for being unworthy, they threaten women with a life of solitude. Using fear tactics doesn't work, most women if they come across someone that is decent will get married, with these kind of scare tactics used within Somali culture people end up having children with losers.

It is dishonest blaming Somali culture for everything. No one told halimos to be
with drug addicts, ex felons, Gypsies etc (the bottom of the barrel). Ultimately Somali
women must take responsibility for their own failures like adults, no one is responsible
for their fall apart from them.

 

[Ubax45_]

I don't associate with people from that subset of society - do you? I'm not refering to them, I'm talking about the average person.
It's the adults responsibility but their are contributing factors. I think you're trolling.

 

[Bohol]

I don't associate with people from that subset of society - do you? I'm not refering to them, I'm talking about the average person.
It's the adults responsibility but their are contributing factors. I think you're trolling.

The average halimo in the west that marries out doesn't land a doctor, engineer, businessman etc. They usually end up with losers.
Some Somali women are just attracted to losers, it is not a race thing.

 

[Burhan]

I don't associate with people from that subset of society - do you? I'm not refering to them, I'm talking about the average person.
It's the adults responsibility but their are contributing factors. I think you're trolling.

Degan, What do you think if a woman marries in her 20s to someone of her age or a little older who will support her through her education?

Instead of sacrificing her life for one thing, can she do both provided she finds the support she needs to accomplish that?

 

[Ubax45_]

The average halimo in the west that marries out doesn't land a doctor, engineer, businessman etc. They usually end up with losers.
Some Somali women are just attracted to losers, it is not a race thing.

I've posted this elsewhere but why do Somali men concern themselves with women who are losers that marry losers.
I feel like you all have a strange affinity towards them.

 

[Bonjour]

Oh here comes the daily attack on Somali woman

 

[Ubax45_]

Degan, What do you think if a woman marries in her 20s to someone of her age or a little older who will support her through her education?

I think its great as long as both individuals are mature. I have many family members who married early 20's, still finished school, have good jobs..etc. but not everyone's destiny is the same. I actually support young marriages but I'm against putting down individuals who haven't been able to get married.

 

[Bohol]

I've posted this elsewhere but why do Somali men concern themselves with women who are losers that marry losers.
I feel like you all have a strange affinity towards them.

Well it is your lot that tries to convince us that majority of Somali women in the west are successful and have a career, then how come
they are ending up with losers even going as far as Gypsies? The puzzle doesn't fit. It is two things.


1. Either your lot are lying

2. Or successful men don't want them