The Game and the inherent power struggle in relationships

Manafesto

[Cali Saleebaan][Migiurtinia]
VIP
HalimoEnthusiast
This is really long, but if you read I'll be grateful. You may not agree with this your first time through ,but it is all absolutely true, you just may not realize the silly conventions that most people deal with in dating are playing right into all these things I'm mentioning. This is their purpose.

Much of dating, especially the early stages, is just a carefully metered lowering of one's guard. It's always a game to convince someone that you can and perhaps will do better, that they're dating up to be with you. That you dont like them any more than they like you.

You get a girl's number, the longer you wait to call them, the cooler you are. You cant just walk up to a pretty girl and say "Hey, I find you attractive, would you like to get to know me better?". No, you must play The Game.

You must get under her skin with your wit and charm, act cool, and not too interested. You have to act like you dont care whether or not you get in this girl's pants, and in fact act like there is a line of women waiting to get in your pants that you're taking a break from, and that she's merely a temporary distraction.

It's not just women. No one finds desperation any more attractive than the average woman. No one wants to date a loser. Confidence sells, and what I described in the previous paragraph is exactly what taht confidence implies. If you're with someone who you think can do better than you, you feel like you're doing well for yourself. The idea is that both parties need to think they're "dating up" per se.

But back to the game. So you met some random dhoocil, then assuming all the bullshit foreplay goes well, and you get a number... you wait what... 3 days? 4 days? Enough days to be cool? And then you call and do whatever. Dinner and a movie, who knows.

So you hit it off, then what? You wait another couple of days, or as long as you dare so that she knows she doesnt have you under her thumb. Then you call her back and ask her on another date, and you act so cool like you couldn't give two shits whether or not she went with you. It's just that you just woudln't mind having her around to be the chocolate sprinkles on the sundae that is your evening. But the sundae is still delicious without the sprinkles, so whatever.

And then all that goes well, and you're dating seriously... but how hard do you fall in love? How long do you wait to reveal that you ACTUALLY really like someone? It always sucks to be that one in the relationship that likes the other one more than they like you.

You have to carefully gauge and read these things so you dont end up being the one that needs the other one more. You gotta stay cool, like maybe you can do better, as if the situation is tenuous, and treat her as such, but nice enough so that she comes back to ya and feels lucky to do it. Even if you do like them more, you dont DARE admit that. You can't empower someone over yourself like that, hell no! They must be kept at bay, at a distance!

So you decide you really really dig this person. When is it right to reveal that much? How long do you keep that shit in? Then one of you feels like it's the right time, and the L-word gets carefully wheeled out like it's an atomic bomb precariously perched on an old rusty mousetrap. The waters get tested, it gets set, and then you let it go and see what happens.

So you both unanimously decide you're in love, then your girl (or man) does something you deem entirely inappropriate. You say "You shouldn't go hang out with those shady Halimo characters,participate on YouTube roasting, dance at weddings, or stealing make ups at Walmart. Whatever, doesn't matter... How stern should you be?

You have to be stern enough so that they get the point. But if you're too stern, you're being abusive and beating, or berating them until their self-esteem is so low that they feel lucky to get beaten up on a regular basis over trite disagreements. If you're so confident in your ability to do better that you feel you can get away with beating the shit out of your woman then clearly she's lucky to be with you. It's how abusive relationships work. And then if you're a pushover, you get walked all over and they never take you seriously. Then you're the one that feels lucky to be with the abusive piece of shit.

So you have to put your foot down, but no matter how concerned you are that bringing whatever insignificant thing they did that you're displeased about will potentially cause an unfixable rift in your relationship, you have to pretend you don't care, and throw it out there, because dammit sometimes they need to know their place and know where you draw that line.

Well f*ck.... maybe I'm overcomplicating this shit, but there is nothing I hate more in this world than this stupid ass fucking mating ritual/game. It's so fucking stupid. It's nothing but a petty power struggle facade meant to constantly keep the other person down so they wont take advantage of you. Early on it's necessary, I will admit that. You have to follow the rules of engagement in most cases in the traditional boy meets girl, boy starts dating girl, boy loves girl type story.

Sometimes you have to do some of these things, but god I hate it. I'd rather just be fucking real with someone, it is petty fucking power struggles and making sure she knows that I can leave her for someone smarter/better/nicer/hotter/with bigger titties/and play games at any moment on a whim.

The way I see it, unless you weasel your way through friendzone, you generally are forced to play The Game for the opening stages of the relationship. But the farther along it goes, to me, the more these silly power struggle games you play should be tossed to the wayside and ignored. They, in my opinion, get in the way of a real, genuine, intimate bond.

So how soon is too soon to ignore the game? Is the game bullshit? Of course it is... but it's the nature of the beast. Is this anything you guys have ever dealt with? I'm thinking most people dont think about it in such concrete terms, but you should be aware of a certain point where you do let your guard down completely to another person, but maybe some people never do that.
 

Hodan from HR

Staff Member
@Manafesto , Walal you don't want a woman you "won" over with games because if you can, guess what? Any man with game can get into her mind and do the same.

I hope you find yourself a lady who has intergrity. If she chooses to be with you, it is because she knows the real you and likes you anyway 🙃



To be desperate is to pretend to be someone you are not in order to get accepted by another.
 

Asli

Love is in the air, come sniff with me
VIP
There’s no way you typed this all on your own... is everything OK back home


 
This does not work on somal
This is really long, but if you read I'll be grateful. You may not agree with this your first time through ,but it is all absolutely true, you just may not realize the silly conventions that most people deal with in dating are playing right into all these things I'm mentioning. This is their purpose.

Much of dating, especially the early stages, is just a carefully metered lowering of one's guard. It's always a game to convince someone that you can and perhaps will do better, that they're dating up to be with you. That you dont like them any more than they like you.

You get a girl's number, the longer you wait to call them, the cooler you are. You cant just walk up to a pretty girl and say "Hey, I find you attractive, would you like to get to know me better?". No, you must play The Game.

You must get under her skin with your wit and charm, act cool, and not too interested. You have to act like you dont care whether or not you get in this girl's pants, and in fact act like there is a line of women waiting to get in your pants that you're taking a break from, and that she's merely a temporary distraction.

It's not just women. No one finds desperation any more attractive than the average woman. No one wants to date a loser. Confidence sells, and what I described in the previous paragraph is exactly what taht confidence implies. If you're with someone who you think can do better than you, you feel like you're doing well for yourself. The idea is that both parties need to think they're "dating up" per se.

But back to the game. So you met some random dhoocil, then assuming all the bullshit foreplay goes well, and you get a number... you wait what... 3 days? 4 days? Enough days to be cool? And then you call and do whatever. Dinner and a movie, who knows.

So you hit it off, then what? You wait another couple of days, or as long as you dare so that she knows she doesnt have you under her thumb. Then you call her back and ask her on another date, and you act so cool like you couldn't give two shits whether or not she went with you. It's just that you just woudln't mind having her around to be the chocolate sprinkles on the sundae that is your evening. But the sundae is still delicious without the sprinkles, so whatever.

And then all that goes well, and you're dating seriously... but how hard do you fall in love? How long do you wait to reveal that you ACTUALLY really like someone? It always sucks to be that one in the relationship that likes the other one more than they like you.

You have to carefully gauge and read these things so you dont end up being the one that needs the other one more. You gotta stay cool, like maybe you can do better, as if the situation is tenuous, and treat her as such, but nice enough so that she comes back to ya and feels lucky to do it. Even if you do like them more, you dont DARE admit that. You can't empower someone over yourself like that, hell no! They must be kept at bay, at a distance!

So you decide you really really dig this person. When is it right to reveal that much? How long do you keep that shit in? Then one of you feels like it's the right time, and the L-word gets carefully wheeled out like it's an atomic bomb precariously perched on an old rusty mousetrap. The waters get tested, it gets set, and then you let it go and see what happens.

So you both unanimously decide you're in love, then your girl (or man) does something you deem entirely inappropriate. You say "You shouldn't go hang out with those shady Halimo characters,participate on YouTube roasting, dance at weddings, or stealing make ups at Walmart. Whatever, doesn't matter... How stern should you be?

You have to be stern enough so that they get the point. But if you're too stern, you're being abusive and beating, or berating them until their self-esteem is so low that they feel lucky to get beaten up on a regular basis over trite disagreements. If you're so confident in your ability to do better that you feel you can get away with beating the shit out of your woman then clearly she's lucky to be with you. It's how abusive relationships work. And then if you're a pushover, you get walked all over and they never take you seriously. Then you're the one that feels lucky to be with the abusive piece of shit.

So you have to put your foot down, but no matter how concerned you are that bringing whatever insignificant thing they did that you're displeased about will potentially cause an unfixable rift in your relationship, you have to pretend you don't care, and throw it out there, because dammit sometimes they need to know their place and know where you draw that line.

Well f*ck.... maybe I'm overcomplicating this shit, but there is nothing I hate more in this world than this stupid ass fucking mating ritual/game. It's so fucking stupid. It's nothing but a petty power struggle facade meant to constantly keep the other person down so they wont take advantage of you. Early on it's necessary, I will admit that. You have to follow the rules of engagement in most cases in the traditional boy meets girl, boy starts dating girl, boy loves girl type story.

Sometimes you have to do some of these things, but god I hate it. I'd rather just be fucking real with someone, it is petty fucking power struggles and making sure she knows that I can leave her for someone smarter/better/nicer/hotter/with bigger titties/and play games at any moment on a whim.

The way I see it, unless you weasel your way through friendzone, you generally are forced to play The Game for the opening stages of the relationship. But the farther along it goes, to me, the more these silly power struggle games you play should be tossed to the wayside and ignored. They, in my opinion, get in the way of a real, genuine, intimate bond.

So how soon is too soon to ignore the game? Is the game bullshit? Of course it is... but it's the nature of the beast. Is this anything you guys have ever dealt with? I'm thinking most people dont think about it in such concrete terms, but you should be aware of a certain point where you do let your guard down completely to another person, but maybe some people never do that.
I agree its a power strugle, from my experieance there så many factors that is involved this. Girls with daddy issue love to play this game but everyone is different. Some girls like it straight forward and others just want to fuc. The secret is money or appearence. Go to gym there are methods to get bigger jaw and save money för a good hairline and you win.
There is also fat white chicks.

If you want xalimo go to university prayer room everyday and you will find a religous xalimo and if you are Lucky you will be married with in the next Six month
 
The solution to all the "game/power struggle" shit is truly be content being by yourself.
If you're a well adjusted adult man, you don't need to be engaging in some autistic tug of war to see who's more invested. It's really not that complex lol
 
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As a grown up lady I don’t see myself getting interested in a man that plays mind games or waits 3-4 days in order to take a step. If he doesn’t take initiatives in a timely manner I move on immediately. No one has time to wait 3-4 days to make a phone call waxas waa bullshit
 

Octavian

Hmm
VIP
i thought i was the only one who over complicated soicaly or philosophical consepts while being under the influence of ....... :dwill:
 

Octavian

Hmm
VIP
As a grown up lady I don’t see myself getting interested in a man that plays mind games or waits 3-4 days in order to take a step. If he doesn’t take initiatives in a timely manner I move on immediately. No one has time to wait 3-4 days to make a phone call waxas waa bullshit
do u like to play games thoo
 

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