can you make one for
This thread is wayyy too biased against Somali males.
Hannah the Hounslow Hoochie
She often goes by 4 different government names and carries an Iphone with a cracked screen due to dropping it many times in the club grinding up on a Madow guy whilst under the influence.
Though she looks unapproachable, Hannah tends to be welcoming depending on what you can offer her. She is street smart, has a cuck like @IslamIsTheAnswer as her free Uber driver and tends to avoid girls because she is fiery and known to be too explosive. If you tell her you have balloons, weed and alcohol, she will move in with you, as long as you pay for her TFL oyster card to her weekend cleaning job since she dropped out of education and only visits her Aunt. Her immediate family don't speak to her except her little sisters who she is planning to bring into the HoeIsLife gang.
Hannah doesn't have social aspirations, as long as she has her Music and someone to validate her with attention she is happy. She can be found snapping or instagramming captions "If you don't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" or the more obscure "f*ck fake friends" "Ghosting season".
Despite all the negativities, she is usually quite funny, not bad looking and takes care of herself. She displays better loyalty because she has learnt from bad friendships and always has a story to tell.
Instagram Ifrah
She has several thousand followers on her socials and secretly wants to be flown out to Dubai so badly but she is unfortunately too sub par, average looking and plain. To make up for her looks she tries dozens of new styles, often with a Hijab to observe Ramadan but back to the wig straight after. She has a huge fan base of like-minded Xaliimos who bombard hearty comments on her pictures and statuses as well as a few cuck farahs.
Ifrah starts her social online career by lip syncing to Mariah Carey and Rihanna suddenly thinking she can join the world of YouTube videos and selling clothing lines to promote her image but her terrible Eurotrash accent and lack of editing skills hurts her PR and brings minimal success.
However unlike Hannah, Ifrah is not so much anti-Somali men. She can be often seen posting videos of her Male relatives giving a shoutout to her fans and everyone else which she uses to indirectly promote herself as a "pick-me" despite her Dms being more abandoned than Area 51.
Nobody knows what Ifrah does for a living, she keeps her followers guessing with all the travel, friends she visits and kitchen diners she goes to. She tries not to discuss political affairs, visit protests or demonstrate that she has an opinion on something, it is all about image. Her image and "clout" doesnt allow her to potentially lose followers or be deserted. She is known to be very quiet in real life, possibly because her virtual comfort zone is taken away from her. She does not function well in big gatherings like Weddings but rather with like-minded introverts where they can spend all day photo editing their pictures in peace.
Despite constant family pressure, Ifrah is unlucky in love - she has spent years surrounded by big groups of females who don't allow one another to split and find their own way in life. She has accepted a spinster life of cats, wigs, travel and coffee.
She should’ve photoshopped her nails.
Instagram Ifrah
She has several thousand followers on her socials and secretly wants to be flown out to Dubai so badly but she is unfortunately too sub par, average looking and plain. To make up for her looks she tries dozens of new styles, often with a Hijab to observe Ramadan but back to the wig straight after. She has a huge fan base of like-minded Xaliimos who bombard hearty comments on her pictures and statuses as well as a few cuck farahs.
Ifrah starts her social online career by lip syncing to Mariah Carey and Rihanna suddenly thinking she can join the world of YouTube videos and selling clothing lines to promote her image but her terrible Eurotrash accent and lack of editing skills hurts her PR and brings minimal success.
However unlike Hannah, Ifrah is not so much anti-Somali men. She can be often seen posting videos of her Male relatives giving a shoutout to her fans and everyone else which she uses to indirectly promote herself as a "pick-me" despite her Dms being more abandoned than Area 51.
Nobody knows what Ifrah does for a living, she keeps her followers guessing with all the travel, friends she visits and kitchen diners she goes to. She tries not to discuss political affairs, visit protests or demonstrate that she has an opinion on something, it is all about image. Her image and "clout" doesnt allow her to potentially lose followers or be deserted. She is known to be very quiet in real life, possibly because her virtual comfort zone is taken away from her. She does not function well in big gatherings like Weddings but rather with like-minded introverts where they can spend all day photo editing their pictures in peace.
Despite constant family pressure, Ifrah is unlucky in love - she has spent years surrounded by big groups of females who don't allow one another to split and find their own way in life. She has accepted a spinster life of cats, wigs, travel and coffee.
Is this @VixR archetype
Whitewashed Warsan
Warsan prides herself on having non Somali friends and their definition of fun is sharing a glass of prosecco on a hipstery rooftop somewhere in Old Street.
Though she doesn't speak a lick of Somali, she proudly pronounces Somali words with an accent to appropriate the culture and laugh with her friends at how primitive it is.
Whilst she tends to mind her business unlike SJW's who advocate for everything under the sun, Warsan is however, very superficial and pretentious. She has a Tinder Bio longer than her CV and enjoys an avocado toasted brunch. When she's on a holiday from her job as a "Writer" and "part time Influencer", she attends the Indie-themed Glastonbury Festival in a show of support for her favourite artists Sigala and Jess Glynne.
Warsan loves a cheeky flirt but when it's unfortunately a Somali such as Warsame who walks past shouts a "Ayyy Man lyk Warsan lemme get your snap doe" Warsan hurries off in shock exclaiming to her friends "OMG what the hell was that".
Warsan joins Ifrah on the long list of future Spinster Xalimos but who knows, her ginger friend Greg who she met at her friends Hen Night may one day sweep her off her feet.
