I need to speak with you guys about my mental health. As you know I am anxiety driven or psychotic or both right now in my diagnosis from professionals on the medical side and the therapy side saying different things. I suspect I am both equally because fear and worry and preparing for the worst is how I view life, from a negative lens, from a pessimitic outlook, it's always doom n gloom no matter what I am looking at in life, My relationship with life is based on fear and mistrust and this leads me to have anxiety attacks.
There is psychosis elements and features but their very brief in duration, I am not one of the schizophrenia people who live with the shit for like 10 years. Mine is in episodes of 2-3 weeks and I am ok for a year or two after that and I relapse again for 2-3 weeks in that sort of recurring pattern, I end up becaming mad for a couple of weeks, start to see shape-shifting creatures especially in humans and animals, i start to see things pop out of nowhere as if there is no time, I hear voices and I feel the voices are not me and I am speaking to devils in hell, my surroundings outside seems like im in hell even though it looks exactly the same as earth just slight differences which I notice as hell.
I feel I am the devil and I am saying that for a specific reason, my psychotic features sxb don't have a happy ending ever, there is no heaven or happiness here so I assume it's hell because I am suffering when I am there and I don't sense god at all, I just sense evilness and devil or why else am i not laughing and being happy when I am in that state?
I see jinniyo niyahow and other life forms that penetrates us and they start to talk to me. For example one told me. God is OG, original gangster - D the devil which is where I am in the psychotic episode the D part of the axis but it keeps telling to reach OG part original gangster. Being original gangsta means realism cause god is real not fake and hell is fake and that's why their is so much pain.
It tells me I am in hell and burning alive for my sins and the shape shifting doesn't stop untill I pick up more clues in the psychotic episode and crack something in there like GOD=OG - D. Or Good - 0 is god and Evil + D is devil. It's all coded shit sxb and then I get relief for a while but I am still in hell.
It's an architecture but the devil playground, it's like a cage and your inside of it and your navigating picking up clues on how to get out of the cage back to earth which is neutral spot where you don't see the invisible things. Most recently it got out of hand the psychosis and it was using comets and judgment day scenarios in the cage and my paranoia rose high cause I thought I was gonna die and the people I see are just like me and you but their not me and you, their jinniyo and they all operate in the devil architecture like simulated robots not knowing what's going on like their is time dimension difference and I am seeing it but they are not. Then I get delusions of thoughts I think tupac is talking to me and giving the code to the don kiluminati and 7 day theory, the jew factor which he calls the fake niggas who dominate the world. I have yet to see a prophet in psychosis sxb, it seems like a hell waiting ground untill judgment day comes and their all having hope that prophets save them from eternal damnation and I am also and we all just banking our money on the guys in heaven to get us outta here.
These devils are teaching me something and it's always negative, it's not positive at all. It tells me to survive out in the field especially the neutral field where there is no invisibilities and its all rationalities. It tells me weird shit sxb through thought transmission while making me observe visual shape shifting shift at the same time. It hijacks me and i feel there are tons of people inside of me sharing my body and were working together to win the field when we return to earth which is not heaven and not hell it's the neutral ground they call it. They told me my height is 187 cm and coded it for me and said since your 187 in height your 187 HOMICIDEEEEEEEEE thats your duty to homicide the neutral world like genghis khan and they made to talk genghis khan niyahow. Wallahi baan ku iri I spoke to genghis khan in FACE. Tupac i spoke to in spirit and thoughts.
There is psychosis elements and features but their very brief in duration, I am not one of the schizophrenia people who live with the shit for like 10 years. Mine is in episodes of 2-3 weeks and I am ok for a year or two after that and I relapse again for 2-3 weeks in that sort of recurring pattern, I end up becaming mad for a couple of weeks, start to see shape-shifting creatures especially in humans and animals, i start to see things pop out of nowhere as if there is no time, I hear voices and I feel the voices are not me and I am speaking to devils in hell, my surroundings outside seems like im in hell even though it looks exactly the same as earth just slight differences which I notice as hell.
I feel I am the devil and I am saying that for a specific reason, my psychotic features sxb don't have a happy ending ever, there is no heaven or happiness here so I assume it's hell because I am suffering when I am there and I don't sense god at all, I just sense evilness and devil or why else am i not laughing and being happy when I am in that state?
I see jinniyo niyahow and other life forms that penetrates us and they start to talk to me. For example one told me. God is OG, original gangster - D the devil which is where I am in the psychotic episode the D part of the axis but it keeps telling to reach OG part original gangster. Being original gangsta means realism cause god is real not fake and hell is fake and that's why their is so much pain.
It tells me I am in hell and burning alive for my sins and the shape shifting doesn't stop untill I pick up more clues in the psychotic episode and crack something in there like GOD=OG - D. Or Good - 0 is god and Evil + D is devil. It's all coded shit sxb and then I get relief for a while but I am still in hell.
It's an architecture but the devil playground, it's like a cage and your inside of it and your navigating picking up clues on how to get out of the cage back to earth which is neutral spot where you don't see the invisible things. Most recently it got out of hand the psychosis and it was using comets and judgment day scenarios in the cage and my paranoia rose high cause I thought I was gonna die and the people I see are just like me and you but their not me and you, their jinniyo and they all operate in the devil architecture like simulated robots not knowing what's going on like their is time dimension difference and I am seeing it but they are not. Then I get delusions of thoughts I think tupac is talking to me and giving the code to the don kiluminati and 7 day theory, the jew factor which he calls the fake niggas who dominate the world. I have yet to see a prophet in psychosis sxb, it seems like a hell waiting ground untill judgment day comes and their all having hope that prophets save them from eternal damnation and I am also and we all just banking our money on the guys in heaven to get us outta here.
These devils are teaching me something and it's always negative, it's not positive at all. It tells me to survive out in the field especially the neutral field where there is no invisibilities and its all rationalities. It tells me weird shit sxb through thought transmission while making me observe visual shape shifting shift at the same time. It hijacks me and i feel there are tons of people inside of me sharing my body and were working together to win the field when we return to earth which is not heaven and not hell it's the neutral ground they call it. They told me my height is 187 cm and coded it for me and said since your 187 in height your 187 HOMICIDEEEEEEEEE thats your duty to homicide the neutral world like genghis khan and they made to talk genghis khan niyahow. Wallahi baan ku iri I spoke to genghis khan in FACE. Tupac i spoke to in spirit and thoughts.
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