A lot of us faraxs are way too suspicious of xalimos and I suspect it’s the same on the other side too. Too much doubt and a negative view of women (xalimos in our context) can really keep a farax single for life. Hence why we need to combat xalimo-hate on this forum and check these scumbags before they normalize that point of view.Don't marry her, you are already having doubts. This will eat you for the rest of your life and you will always bring up her past. Leave her alone.
xalimos really the best possible women for us. We have to love them, and be great husbands to them. We’ve got to be strong enough to break the generational curses of broken homes caused by broken/undisciplined men.
us faraxs just need to focus our energy on overcoming the generational culture of not being hard working, ambitious, disciplined men. It’s not going to be easy but I have a great uncle who has remained married to his one qalanjo wife and together they’ve raised four beautiful, smart, and kind children. I respect him so much and he’s my mentor in being the best possible husband/father I can be.
I can’t hate or dismiss xalimos who in this increasingly degenerate society has lost herself. At the end of the day nobody is perfect and we all have our own trials and tribulations. I can’t make fun of somebody for struggling with addictions. I can only have compassion for them. I’m sure there’s a deeply held emotional/psychological wound that has resulted in them turning to substance/behavioral addictions for relief. I can only pray for Allah to strengthen their Imaan. So many of the companions of the prophet who were promised heaven were former alcoholics fyi. So stop being a perfectionist and projecting a false dichotomy of reality.
You probably have a distant relative who drinks counterfeit liquor in your tuulo and you don’t even know it.
(Sorry if this is long and if it sounds offensive, I’m not directing at you but the guys who push xalimo hate on the forum)