Talking to a girl and just found she drank once before ?

[hamar_oo_iidil]

Don't marry her, you are already having doubts. This will eat you for the rest of your life and you will always bring up her past. Leave her alone.

A lot of us faraxs are way too suspicious of xalimos and I suspect it’s the same on the other side too. Too much doubt and a negative view of women (xalimos in our context) can really keep a farax single for life. Hence why we need to combat xalimo-hate on this forum and check these scumbags before they normalize that point of view.

xalimos really the best possible women for us. We have to love them, and be great husbands to them. We’ve got to be strong enough to break the generational curses of broken homes caused by broken/undisciplined men.

us faraxs just need to focus our energy on overcoming the generational culture of not being hard working, ambitious, disciplined men. It’s not going to be easy but I have a great uncle who has remained married to his one qalanjo wife and together they’ve raised four beautiful, smart, and kind children. I respect him so much and he’s my mentor in being the best possible husband/father I can be.

I can’t hate or dismiss xalimos who in this increasingly degenerate society has lost herself. At the end of the day nobody is perfect and we all have our own trials and tribulations. I can’t make fun of somebody for struggling with addictions. I can only have compassion for them. I’m sure there’s a deeply held emotional/psychological wound that has resulted in them turning to substance/behavioral addictions for relief. I can only pray for Allah to strengthen their Imaan. So many of the companions of the prophet who were promised heaven were former alcoholics fyi. So stop being a perfectionist and projecting a false dichotomy of reality.

You probably have a distant relative who drinks counterfeit liquor in your tuulo and you don’t even know it.
(Sorry if this is long and if it sounds offensive, I’m not directing at you but the guys who push xalimo hate on the forum)

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Tbh this is a very common pairing within the Somali community. Awkward religious Somali girls and reformed ciyaal suuq Somali guys compliment each other more than you’d think lol.

So true. I know so many Somali guys with high body counts and smoked many grams a day who eventually dumped their Somali fun girls (parties, drugs) for homebody Somali girls who are never outside that you think they moved away or something.

 

[hamar_oo_iidil]

Tbh this is a very common pairing within the Somali community. Awkward religious Somali girls and reformed ciyaal suuq Somali guys compliment each other more than you’d think lol.

You know that’s interesting because I genuinely find awkward religious Somali girls really cute. Like my problematic cousin is marrying one and she’s this really shy dark skin Somali girl and I don’t want to sound mean but I felt like I deserved to marry her more than he did. Whatever happens if their marriage goes wrong I’m going to marry her next. There’s already a queue forming of farax in waiting for when that Abdi steps out of line

 

[Sophisticate]

I have known guys that drink, sadly. I have never nor taken so much as an over the counter drug and obviously not fornicated. It would be a misalignment in values and lifestyle. I can't live my life one way and have a different set of standards for them.

But if you drank before or had relations you are in no position to judge.

 

[hamar_oo_iidil]

I have known guys that drink. I have never nor taken so much as an over the counter drug and obviously not fornicated. It would be a misalignment in values and lifestyle. I can't live my life one way and have a different set of standards for them.

But if you drank before or had relations you are in no position to judge.

Soph. you are a queen anointed.
On that list I’ve only ever done over the counter drugs like painkillers. I am sorry if I let you down but I still drink warm water in your homage

side note: do you not ever want to try psychedelics and experience being in a transient state? Be Honest

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

I have known guys that drink, sadly. I have never nor taken so much as an over the counter drug and obviously not fornicated. It would be a misalignment in values and lifestyle. I can't live my life one way and have a different set of standards for them.

But if you drank before or had relations you are in no position to judge.

Do they still drink? I find that most didn't even stop

 

[GaradShabeel]

You know that’s interesting because I genuinely find awkward religious Somali girls really cute. Like my problematic cousin is marrying one and she’s this really shy dark skin Somali girl and I don’t want to sound mean but I felt like I deserved to marry her more than he did. Whatever happens if their marriage goes wrong I’m going to marry her next. There’s already a queue forming of farax in waiting for when that Abdi steps out of line

What did I read?!?! Please brother, stay away from the new family of your cousin. This type of thinking is very abnormal and frankly inappropriate, when you're preparing in advance for the break down of a marriage that has yet to begun, so you can be paired with your relative's significant other.

 

[hamar_oo_iidil]

I have known guys that drink, sadly. I have never nor taken so much as an over the counter drug and obviously not fornicated. It would be a misalignment in values and lifestyle. I can't live my life one way and have a different set of standards for them.

But if you drank before or had relations you are in no position to judge.

I actually had a random Somali oodaay drinking beer come at me today on my way home. He gave me salaam while drunk. He started picking out random ajnabis saying should we beat him up. I was just trying to buy my family pizza and I almost caught a case. The life of a young black male in these western ghettos… any day you can end up in jail for the rest of your life…

 

[hamar_oo_iidil]

What did I read?!?! Please brother, stay away from the new family of your cousin. This type of thinking is very abnormal and inappropriate .

Excuse my unabashed honesty on here. I enjoy wearing my heart on my sleeve on occasions. Also, I don’t wish harm on the new couple. I said my MarshAllahs

 

[Steve0]

I had to ask her straight up if she was a virgin and she said she was. Said she only drank once in collard didn’t like it. She’s a homebody and is at home all the time and doesn’t go out one of the reasons I liked her was because she was so miskeen and sweet. Her admitting to drinking really threw me off wallahi

Tell her to kick rocks man, imagine how you’d feel when random men start speaking about your “wifes” wild times when she was drunk, or arguing with some guy and then they drop crazy intel about your wife to your face lmao be careful young g I’ve seen these kind of stuff ruin marriages

 

[A Mean Guy]

What did I read?!?! Please brother, stay away from the new family of your cousin. This type of thinking is very abnormal and inappropriate, when you're preparing in advance for the break down of a marriage that has yet to begun.

These male feminists always have an ulterior motive. Lmao.

I thought you were a great person always praising Somali women but who would've guessed you were eyeing ur cousin's woman?

 

[Ikranay]

So true. I know so many Somali guys with high body counts and smoked many grams a day who eventually dumped their Somali fun girls (parties, drugs) for homebody Somali girls who are never outside that you think they moved away or something.

I know dozens of couples like this. Lowkey I can see myself going down that root. 90% of the guys that have been interested in me were wayward lol for the life of me I couldn’t get it. But from our side those guys just appreciate us for who we are and they have lower expectations. But it only works if he’s changed though. I would never go near any guy that hasn’t stopped drinking for at least 5 years.

 

[Bari🐍]

Soph. you are a queen anointed.
On that list I’ve only ever done over the counter drugs like painkillers. I am sorry if I let you down but I still drink warm water in your homage

side note: do you not ever want to try psychedelics and experience being in a transient state? Be Honest

Queen anointed???

 

[TekNiKo]

You should overlook it, we all make mistakes.

 

[Ikranay]

These male feminists always have an ulterior motive. Lmao.

I thought you were a great person always praising Somali women but who would've guessed you were eyeing ur cousin's woman?

I accidentally liked his post I had to snatch it back . He usually posts reasonable stuff.

 

[Sophisticate]

Do they still drink? I find that most didn't even stop

It's embarrassing seeing them sipping. They act foolish. I have a theory that it becomes a habit that is hard to break for most of them (though not impossible). It's better to never start to begin with. If anything it tells me they have poor coping mechanisms.

I actually had a random Somali oodaay drinking beer come at me today on my way home. He gave me salaam while drunk. He started picking out random ajnabis saying should we beat him up. I was just trying to buy my family pizza and I almost caught a case. The life of a young black male in these western ghettos… any day you can end up in jail for the rest of your life…

I think we've all seen those adeers at least once.

 

[GaradShabeel]

Excuse my unabashed honesty on here. I enjoy wearing my heart on my sleeve on occasions. Also, I don’t wish harm on the new couple. I said my MarshAllahs

Saying MashAllah doesn't justify/make up for what you just said, without coming across as a judgemental person. Read again what you just wrote. No sane person would find that to be appropripiate, irrespective of how 'honest' you are.

You're claiming that you don't wish harm on the couple. At the same time, you're almost putting a spell on their marriage, so you can be with your relative's soon to be wife. Jealousy really do wonders. May Allah bless you're relative's marriage and keep any fitna from you or others from interfering and ruining their marriage.

 

[Khaem]

You know that’s interesting because I genuinely find awkward religious Somali girls really cute. Like my problematic cousin is marrying one and she’s this really shy dark skin Somali girl and I don’t want to sound mean but I felt like I deserved to marry her more than he did. Whatever happens if their marriage goes wrong I’m going to marry her next. There’s already a queue forming of farax in waiting for when that Abdi steps out of line

 

[Steve0]

The weird women saying he shouldn’t judge non virgin females if he’s not one are probably coping wh*res themselves.

It’s like saying a fat man has no right to desire a skinny woman

Wallahi there’s something wrong with you as a man if you don’t desire a virgin, women never forget their first.

 

[Khaem]

Tell her to kick rocks man, imagine how you’d feel when random men start speaking about your “wifes” wild times when she was drunk, or arguing with some guy and then they drop crazy intel about your wife to your face lmao be careful young g I’ve seen these kind of stuff ruin marriages

That shit is a man's worst nightmare.
Then there's western gals who say "who cares if a girl has bodies, don't judge"

Imagine walking down the street with your girl and guys who've smashed and dashed are eyeing her up. That's enough to make my buy Mein Kampf and start cooking.

You are essentially paying for something that tons of men got for free, my manhood can't handle that, call me insecure all you want.