Spend his money and save yours

[East side]

Don't talk like i'm stupid.

I pay my own bills and rent, so don't talk to me like i'm in this bubble when i probably older and more experienced than you. With regards to my situation, all i have to say is Alhamdulliah, therefore ideally i want someone in a similar position or better.

A minority of men do have proper money and they will obviously not complain.

You are not older or more experience than me

 

[NotMyL]

@TheShinning

Where do you live and how much does your husband earn? You probably not gonna answer it because it will expose you two cant livecon his wage hence why you work

He’s software engineer for big company in MN with 5 year experience so I will let you do the math.

I work because I went to school and have the opportunity to make money, why would I quit my job. Plus we wouldn’t be able to have the savings we have and travel the world if we were on one income.

 

[HalimaJ]

What happens when the man leave you? Who is paying for the bills.

Why ask dumb questions like this?

If anything that is even more of a reason to save your money in case he leaves.

You are not older or more experience than me

Age on my profile is fake. I'm 25

 

[East side]

Why ask dumb questions like this?

If anything that is even more of a reason to save your money in case he leaves.


Age on my profile is fake. I'm 25

25 is youngish

 

[HalimaJ]

Of course you will do more, you work 20 hours less then him and thus spend more time at home, that's expected from you.

So what will your response be when he asks for financial contributions from you? at least a 1/3 towards the bill while he covers the other 2/3 since you also work ? will you accept or refuse?

If you refuse why? and if you accept I would like to know why you refuse to take the initiative in the first place?

If your response is because that's his religious obligation, well he is also the head of the household and he could command you to stop working since xoolahada walagu qasaarey, will you obey him in this?

Her husband is clearly okay with it so why do you care?

Also, its her money and islamically even if she is rich, he doesn't have a right to it, so what is your point? So xoolada wa qasaaro if the husband doesn't get some of the money?

Her husband clearly doesn't need her money from the sounds of things and she does most of the cooking and cleaning. So what is your point?

 

[HalimaJ]

25 is youngish

Youngish yes, but I've been working for quite some time now Alhamdulliah and have a realistic understanding of finances.

I'm obviously aware that the average Farax in his twenties will struggle to provide on his own. But that is not the case for every man and it seems Theshinning's husband is one of those men that are doing well alhamdulliah.
Therefore, his mindset is going to be very different to the men here who are young and trying to establish themselves.

 

[East side]

Youngish yes, but I've been working for quite some time now Alhamdulliah and have a realistic understanding of finances.

I'm obviously aware that the average Farax in his twenties will struggle to provide on his own. But that is not the case for every man and it seems Theshinning's husband is one of those men that are doing well alhamdulliah.
Therefore, his mindset is going to be very different to the men here who are young and trying to establish themselves.

Its not about being able. I stopped dating a xalimo because she refused to spend money on me. Real talk for me its about the mindset that a woman thinks Im supposed to pay for everything because Im lucky to be with her thats offputting. Its about principle.....even if you only get jsa. You better spend something me or we wont work.

 

[NotMyL]

Her husband is clearly okay with it so why do you care?

Also, its her money and islamically even if she is rich, he doesn't have a right to it, so what is your point? So xoolada wa qasaaro if the husband doesn't get some of the money?

Her husband clearly doesn't need her money from the sounds of things and she does most of the cooking and cleaning. So what is your point?

Did you miss the memo where @Inquisitive_ backs up his points with religion only when it benefits his gender? lol

 

[HalimaJ]

Its not about being able. I stopped dating a xalimo because she refused to spend money on me. Real talk for me its about the mindset that a woman thinks Im supposed to pay for everything because Im lucky to be with her thats offputting. Its about principle.....even if you only get jsa. You better spend something me or we wont work.

That is a very feminine mindset.

I refuse to be with a man that expects me to split the bill ect. Incredibly offputting

 

[HalimaJ]

Did you miss the memo where @Inquisitive_ backs up his points with religion only when it benefits his gender? lol

He is a one trick pony

Bashing western born Somali women, blaming them for all the ills of the Somali community even gang violence of Somali boys.

He will use anything to put down western born Somali women.

 

[NotMyL]

@East side splitting the 20 dollar lunch with his girl

 

[East side]

He’s software engineer for big company in MN with 5 year experience so I will let you do the math.

I work because I went to school and have the opportunity to make money, why would I quit my job. Plus we wouldn’t be able to have the savings we have and travel the world if we were on one income.

First of all mashallah you both doing well. But most young people are not doing that well. I think there is too much pressure on young somali boys to be providers as soon as they finish school. I believe in early on if you get married working together and establish yourself where you can reach that level. So if I see a young man who is trying to do well but dont have the means right now. Calling him a bum and say come back when you are established is harmful to us as community.

 

[East side]

@East side splitting the 20 dollar lunch with his girl
View attachment 67748

Im 75/25 guy. All i want is to contribute 25%. Also why are somali guys so bad at feeding a mans ego? Every now and then pretend you gonna pay so I can say no baby I got this. A man needs a boost for his ego even if he is paying for a big mac meal

 

[Mercury]

So you keep your money while i work and pay your bills lol. I refuse to believe there are grownups who think like this.

Allah has ordained men to be the ones to provide for his wife and kids if she works or she’s rich you can’t touch her money without her approval

 

[YourBroMoe]

Seems like marriage is dead. I say good.

 

[halwa]

@East side is just joking.

He will be providing for his family once he gets married. He will be the breadwinner of the house and the wifey will do the domestic things or she might work.

Quit the chatting. I know you

These men know how to talk

 

[East side]

Seems like marriage is dead. I say good.

It will be dead unlrss some of the burden is not taken off men.

Allah has ordained men to be the ones to provide for his wife and kids if she works or she’s rich you can’t touch her money without her approval

And thats why i will have the longest talk about money with future wife. Most somali marriages end due to financial pressure

 

[HalimaJ]

Im 75/25 guy. All i want is to contribute 25%. Also why are somali guys so bad at feeding a mans ego? Every now and then pretend you gonna pay so I can say no baby I got this. A man needs a boost for his ego even if he is paying for a big mac meal

In a proper relationship, it is good to spoil your man from time to time. Buy him gifts, offer to take him out for change ect.

But thats only if he was spoiling me first.

 

[East side]

@East side is just joking.

He will be providing for his family once he gets married. He will be the breadwinner of the house and the wifey will do the domestic things or she might work.

Quit the chatting. I know you

These men know how to talk

No she has to atleast work part time. No woman in her 20s with no kids should sit home

 

[halwa]

No she has to atleast work part time. No woman in her 20s with no kids should sit home

That’s between you two to decide.

But islamically speaking, she doesn’t have to work. It is her choice. Obviously you two can come to an agreement but a woman in Islam does not have to work.

Seems like you men need a lesson in Islam.