Somali women marrying Somali men back home

[Hmohamed54]

I don’t recommend women marrying back home because its not like how it is for men. Men are more opportunist than women and we’re very more cut throat.

My female cousin married back home. Things were going well, they even had a child together. After she brung him to America, he did a 180 degrees turn. They ended up divorce and her in a worse position because she had to support him after divorce due to him not being able to work.

 

[Kaaha_Nuura]

I don’t recommend women marrying back home because its not like how it is for men. Men are more opportunist than women and we’re very more cut throat.

My female cousin married back home. Things were going well, they even had a child together. After she brung him to America, he did a 180 degrees turn. They ended up divorce and her in a worse position because she had to support him after divorce due to him not being able to work.

But what if you live in Somalia and don't bring him to the west?

 

[Cajiib]

Do you know of anyone personally that has married a Somali man back home, how did it go?

I'm simply asking because I'm considering someone back home and I'm slightly frightened of the process that is to come. It's generally easier to get to know someone here (I live in Europe) and there is not much hassle and cost that goes into meeting a potential over a coffee.

I don't know why but just thinking about me travelling to the motherland just so we can see one another sounds daunting and a lot of effort to put in, when it's not certain that it will work. I'm not worried about him, as he is not a fob and is an educated man. Just the process is huge 'risk' for me

What if it doesn't work out then I return to the UK and I'm back to square one I'm a couple years away from 30 so the anxiety is through the roof.

Am I overthinking things and need to be more hopeful?

Have the men in your family checked him out for you? As in having people where he is investigate and see the type of person he is.

I witnessed a close relative do this. It went really badly for her since the man became the complete opposite of what he portrayed himself as.

If I may ask, how were you introduced? And are you open to the idea of you moving there instead of bringing him here?

 

[Kaaha_Nuura]

Have the men in your family checked him out for you? As in having people where he is investigate and see the type of person he is.

I witnessed a close relative do this. It went really badly for her since the man became the complete opposite of what he portrayed himself as.

If I may ask, how were you introduced? And are you open to the idea of you moving there instead of bringing him here?

Our talking stage is still in its infancy, I do plan to go back home and visit him then I would like my father to do the background work.

We met on social media

This is an individual that has had numerous to go to the west and has declined, he wants to live in Somalia and so do I.

Your cousin..did she get married to him?

 

[Cajiib]

Our talking stage is still in its infancy, I do plan to go back home and visit him then I would like my father to do the background work.

We met on social media

This is an individual that has had numerous to go to the west and has declined, he wants to live in Somalia and so do I.

Your cousin..did she get married to him?

How can you verify that he’s had multiple opportunities, though? No judgement but are you going to visit before your father does the check? Did he contact you on sm? Sorry for the 21 questions. This is a very intriguing topic.

My family member did marry him and divorced. She is from the older generation too so I didn’t expect the man to be that way but alas…personally I believe the issue was she didn’t have much background done on him. That would reveal many things he was hiding from her.

 

[Kaaha_Nuura]

How can you verify that he’s had multiple opportunities, though? No judgement but are you going to visit before your father does the check? Did he contact you on sm? Sorry for the 21 questions. This is a very intriguing topic.

My family member did marry him and divorced. She is from the older generation too so I didn’t expect the man to be that way but alas…personally I believe the issue was she didn’t have much background done on him. That would reveal many things he was hiding from her.

No I'm very glad you are asking these questions, as another perspective is welcomed.

So one of his parents lives in the states so he would have directly been able to have gone there when he was young. Laakin he chose to study in another country, he has now completed his studies and wants to go back home to work. Due to the lengthy time he was away from Somalia he is not a fob, he has become quite westernised.

I want to visit him with my father when we go back home, is that a bad idea.? He can make his first impressions , then my dad can do the background checks

What things was he hiding from your cousin? Genuinely curious,

 

[Kimk]

To be honest, it’s a challenge for women to go back home and marry in Somalia unless your planning to move there…even then the guy has to be pretty well off in order for you to maintain your quality of life.

Having said that I have seen it work. I have a friend who married a farah from malaysia, brought him to the USA and they live good life.. he got a degree and started a busienss.

however the first few years was super tough for her…waiting on immigration so he get get his sharci..on top of that she had to single handly pay all the bills while pregnant and raising kids. Even after he got the green card, his degree wasn’t recognized so he has to work low wage jobs while going back to school. That’s a lot of pressure on a women and it can take a toll on you mentally, physically and financially.

your taking on a big responsibility if you marry abroad and hope to bring him here..in addition managing cultural expectations. Much easier for women to marry locally and reduce the complication. It might be worth it in the long run

 

[NinWero]

Sis, I am telling you the truth, the best Somali guys are those educated and back home. They are so hard-working and determined.

They have a different mindset than the guys in the west, they are more hard-working and a lot more mature, I guess it's the environment that shaped them.

I am in a similar situation as you, I am planning to marry a girl from back home, she's been studying in China for the last few years and she's coming back home to work.

Do your background and if everything is good, marry him.

 

[Aegon]

I hope for you that you don't have the liberal mentality

 

[Hmohamed54]

But what if you live in Somalia and don't bring him to the west?

Look at that somali singer, that was in Minnesota. She brung him to America, and he doing tours sleeping with all those other women. Worse thing yet, he’s not even making a good salary. Probably less then an hard working truck driver. Find a guy in America trust me, guys back home are far worse than the girls. Once those probation period is iver he can divorce you and you cant say it was visa fraud. They know these things before hand. If yiu want to marry a man back home, make sure he has strong family ties. Like 2nd 3rd cousin and make sure he’s hard worker and not too good looking for you.

 

[Hmohamed54]

Look at that somali singer, that was in Minnesota. She brung him to America, and he doing tours sleeping with all those other women. Worse thing yet, he’s not even making a good salary. Probably less then an hard working truck driver. Find a guy in America trust me, guys back home are far worse than the girls. Once those probation period is iver he can divorce you and you cant say it was visa fraud. They know these things before hand. If yiu want to marry a man back home, make sure he has strong family ties. Like 2nd 3rd cousin and make sure he’s hard worker and not too good looking for you.

Also make sure he’s not a feminist. If he is, he’s definitely using you.

 

[Kimk]

Look at that somali singer, that was in Minnesota. She brung him to America, and he doing tours sleeping with all those other women. Worse thing yet, he’s not even making a good salary. Probably less then an hard working truck driver. Find a guy in America trust me, guys back home are far worse than the girls. Once those probation period is iver he can divorce you and you cant say it was visa fraud. They know these things before hand. If yiu want to marry a man back home, make sure he has strong family ties. Like 2nd 3rd cousin and make sure he’s hard worker and not too good looking for you.

Why are you slandering sultan sareer? Do you have any proof he doing those activities?

I agree if your bringing a foreigner make sure to have strong family ties.

 

[Cajiib]

So one of his parents lives in the states so he would have directly been able to have gone there when he was young. Laakin he chose to study in another country, he has now completed his studies and wants to go back home to work. Due to the lengthy time he was away from Somalia he is not a fob, he has become quite westernised.

I want to visit him with my father when we go back home, is that a bad idea.? He can make his first impressions , then my dad can do the background checks

What things was he hiding from your cousin? Genuinely curious,

The family member wasn’t a cousin but someone who is like a parent to me so I don’t know the full details. From what was apparent and public, the man was a drunk. I believe the fact that he was living in a different country made it easier to fool her.

I can’t really say if it’s a good idea cause I have never been in your shoes. What I do like is that you’ll have your father with you to hopefully protect you from any ill intentions.

 

[Siren95]

I know one girl who did it and alhamdullilah she’s happily married with four kids and her husband can speak English. My cousin also is married to someone back home and she’s so happy and lucky in love. Just make sure he has similar values to you because I had another cousin who was married to some guy back home and when first came to the states he didn’t even want to work and wasn’t ambitious and it took two years but alhamdullilah they’re happily married now with two beautiful smart children

 

[Siren95]

Look at that somali singer, that was in Minnesota. She brung him to America, and he doing tours sleeping with all those other women. Worse thing yet, he’s not even making a good salary. Probably less then an hard working truck driver. Find a guy in America trust me, guys back home are far worse than the girls. Once those probation period is iver he can divorce you and you cant say it was visa fraud. They know these things before hand. If yiu want to marry a man back home, make sure he has strong family ties. Like 2nd 3rd cousin and make sure he’s hard worker and not too good looking for you.

Subhanallah think about how you’re slandering someone and accusing them of committing zina when you don’t even have facts

 

[XawoTako]

Do you know of anyone personally that has married a Somali man back home, how did it go?

I'm simply asking because I'm considering someone back home and I'm slightly frightened of the process that is to come. It's generally easier to get to know someone here (I live in Europe) and there is not much hassle and cost that goes into meeting a potential over a coffee.

I don't know why but just thinking about me travelling to the motherland just so we can see one another sounds daunting and a lot of effort to put in, when it's not certain that it will work. I'm not worried about him, as he is not a fob and is an educated man. Just the process is huge 'risk' for me

What if it doesn't work out then I return to the UK and I'm back to square one I'm a couple years away from 30 so the anxiety is through the roof.

Am I overthinking things and need to be more hopeful?

First of all, ask yourself these questions Why do you want to marry this person? Do you like this individual or you want to get married just because you think you are getting older. You are still young don’t pressure yourself.

 

[Cosmo]

Seems like a bad idea, you’re working and raising the kids while he’s chilling with a second wife back home all funded through your hard work.

 

[andrewtate]

Do you know of anyone personally that has married a Somali man back home, how did it go?

I'm simply asking because I'm considering someone back home and I'm slightly frightened of the process that is to come. It's generally easier to get to know someone here (I live in Europe) and there is not much hassle and cost that goes into meeting a potential over a coffee.

I don't know why but just thinking about me travelling to the motherland just so we can see one another sounds daunting and a lot of effort to put in, when it's not certain that it will work. I'm not worried about him, as he is not a fob and is an educated man. Just the process is huge 'risk' for me

What if it doesn't work out then I return to the UK and I'm back to square one I'm a couple years away from 30 so the anxiety is through the roof.

Am I overthinking things and need to be more hopeful?

majority of somali men, of similar age to you who have a stable income/business, are good looking and have religious values aren't going to be checking for you, unless you accept polygamy (meaning potentially you will become a 2nd wife) your chances of marrying a freshie from back home is better if your not willing to compromise as you mentioned you are past your prime

 

[Kaaha_Nuura]

majority of somali men, of similar age to you who have a stable income/business, are good looking and have religious values aren't going to be checking for you, unless you accept polygamy (meaning potentially you will become a 2nd wife) your chances of marrying a freshie from back home is better if your not willing to compromise as you mentioned you are past your prime

You are very wrong

 

[Kaaha_Nuura]

First of all, ask yourself these questions Why do you want to marry this person? Do you like this individual or you want to get married just because you think you are getting older. You are still young don’t pressure yourself.

If I was to marry due to pressure walaal I would marry someone here as it's easier and I actually have plenty of choice.
So far, I'm compatible with this person hence why I am giving him a chance